The Immersion of Edward Cullen
by ginginlee
Summary: AU. Bella Swan has a frightening past, and a secret that's haunted her for years. She meets a young man who oozes horror, but she isn't afraid. He's got the answers she's been seeking, and she won't relent. She has no idea what she's getting into...
1. Chapter 1

**The Immersion of Edward Cullen**

_im·mer·sion_ n.

1. a. The act or an instance of immersing.

b. The condition of being immersed.

2. Baptism performed by totally submerging a person in water.

3. Astronomy - The obscuring of a celestial body by another or by the shadow of another.

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Bella knew that everything that happened to her before had culminated for this very moment. She stared critically at the unblinking, pale-faced Edward Cullen as he sat in her classroom, her mind flitting through memories and options, questions and possible answers, knowing what she needed to do.

She would touch him, skin to skin, and she would know.

She still gripped his English essay in her hands, trying not to wrinkle or crush it, but she was having a hard time controlling her muscles. The teacher, Mrs. Cheney, was speaking to the class, and Bella realized that she was being introduced.

"And this is Ms. Swan, my student teacher for the semester. She will be helping out with class, grading papers, and eventually, teaching lessons. You will respect her, and listen to her, just like you would any other teacher, all right?"

Angela Cheney eyed her students, looking for any signs of dissent. She could see a few sneers making their way onto girls' faces, probably due to jealousy. Angela recognized that Bella was very pretty, and young looking. It seemed that the male population of the class realized this as well, as Angela spotted many gazing unabashedly at her with heavy-lidded eyes. The teenage libido was shocking at times, and she knew that Bella Swan would probably fuel many a wet dream or masturbation session that very day.

She chanced a glance at her student teacher, and saw that Bella was nodding her 'hello' to the class, looking both confident and nervous. She held a student's paper in her hand, taking her anxiety out on it, until Angela reached over and pulled the sheet away. Bella smiled apologetically but watched the paper closely as Angela placed it back on the pile on her desk.

Bella knew which boy was Edward Cullen the moment he stepped into the room. She had learned enough over the years to be able to spot one of his kind, even if she'd only ever come across one other. She tried to scan her eyes over the other students, giving nothing away, but she saw that Edward was watching her intently, like a predator eyeing his prey.

She hoped he tried something. She hoped he spoke to her after class, or perhaps stalked her after school. She dared him to get close to her, because she was prepared. She'd been preparing for this moment since she was sixteen. She knew everything she needed to know, and she was firm in her belief that he would not get the best of her.

The class period, which only last fifty minutes, passed swiftly. Bella paid attention to Angela, figuring out her teaching style and rhythm, and took care of handing out papers and picking up the students' completed assignments. As she touched Edward's class work, seeking it out purposefully, she again was bombarded with images and thoughts, energies and feelings.

_Blood. Hospital. Bags of blood. Speed. Thirst. Age. Death. Decay. Sadness. _

_Remorseless._

That was the one that stopped her. She could sense his very nature, and she knew that he was unrepentant for it. Touching something of his that was fresh supplied her with more evidence that he was, in fact, what she thought he was.

The bell finally rang, and Bella acted quickly. Various scenarios ran through her mind before she stepped towards the door and wished the students a good day. Edward was about to step across the threshold, his eyes holding her in their periphery, and she reached out to grab his forearm to stop him.

It was rock hard under her hand, but also covered with his shirtsleeves. She tried to act natural and nonchalant as she opened her mouth, stealthily sliding her hand down his arm near to his wrist.

"I was looking over your essay earlier, and I just wanted to comment on how well-written, and well-researched it was. I look forward to reading more of your analysis down the road," she said in a professorial tone. Finally – finally – her fingertips found purchase on the smallest sliver of his bare, cold skin, and she saw into his mind for a moment, just long enough, before he pulled away.

He was listening to her heartbeat, envisioning the taste of her blood as it pumped through arteries, imagining his teeth sinking into her skin like a knife into warm butter. He pulled away quickly, but it was enough to tell Bella that he was one in the same as what she'd been hunting for so many years.

Vampire.

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**So...this is it. You'll discover that my vampires are a little different than SM's, but I hope you love them anyway. This story is already written, so I'll be posting chapters relatively quickly. The story will be dark, and sometimes graphic, but I'll try to warn you beforehand. I hope you stick around to see what happens with these two.**

**Thanks to my beta, anythinzombie, for always pulling my crap together for me.**

**I don't own Twilight, as I'm sure you've realized by now.**

**Follow me on Twitter (at) ginginleelee**

**I've got a banner for this story, made my the lovely Christine, linked on my profile. Thanks, all. Hope to see you here again soon.**


	2. Chapter 2 What Lay Behind

**All right, we're going back in time a bit to see what exactly happened to Bella some years before. There are some graphic/violent images, just to warn you. Thanks to everyone who gave this story a shot - we've got a long way to go, so let's get started.**

**I don't own Twilight, and my vamps are definitely different from SM's.**

**Song Rec: "Neighborhood #2 (Laika)" - Arcade Fire. This is the band that pretty much propels my thoughts into a dark realm, so I'll probably be referencing them often.**

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Six Years Prior_

Bella sat in her U.S. History class, daydreaming the afternoon away, when her name was called over the intercom. She was told to go to the guidance office, and to bring her things. A wave of worry passed over her before she willed it back down. Surely it's just something about her PSATs, or perhaps her track coach wanted to speak with her about something…the possibilities were endless, and most of them were not life-threatening or heart-crushing.

Yet, as she walked slowly down the long L-shaped hallway, she felt it. Inside, she could feel that it was something bad, something dark and terrible. Even without her usual telepathic sense, heightened by touch, she could feel that something had shifted, and she would never be the same.

Bella had always been a strange child, and had grown into a peculiar teenager. She had friends, and her parents both adored her, but she never quite fit in. When she was very small, and could barely talk, she baffled her parents by answering their thoughts instead of their words. Sometimes they would hold her, and she would look at them with eyes too intelligent for a toddler, and could speak to those things buried deep within themselves. Renee and Charlie were still married, but afraid to tell the other about what they noticed. They both realized that Bella was special, but neither knew if it was…the good kind of special.

After they split, and Bella got a little older, Renee finally found the will to ask her about her abilities. Bella didn't know, at the time, that she was different. She assumed that everyone could do the things she did. With encouragement from her mother, and the plea to keep her ability a secret, she tested her own strength. She could touch a person's skin and sometimes hear their thoughts; at other times, she only got pictures, or feelings, and on rare occasions, she got nothing.

She soon found that her power wasn't limited to human touch, but she could also touch inanimate objects and get a read off of them, if they were recently in the possession of a person. She could pick up the book of a classmate, and if it was fresh enough, she could almost pull out some of their final thoughts as they last held it, or the emotions they emitted whilst reading it. She could see flashes, memories held by the object, relaying its owner's information straight into Bella's brain. The entire thing was so commonplace; she stopped thinking of it as she grew.

Charlie didn't encourage her, but he didn't try to disprove her, either. He was aware that she was talented, and while he never asked her to show him what she could do, he watched her closely when she visited, trying to figure out how his daughter had come to possess such a power. She would touch him frequently, and though it unnerved him that his daughter was peering into his soul, he also knew there wasn't anything to hide from her. She confided in him that she could read objects along with minds, and he found her picking up the remote control to the television just to hold it sometimes.

While she was clearly supernaturally gifted, she was still a normal girl for the most part. She loved to play outside and hated going to sleep at night. She laid on her stomach to watch TV in the afternoons and pushed her vegetables around her plate at dinner. She eventually grew weary of her own gift, wishing she didn't have to be different, and that she didn't have to deal with such a thing. She didn't want the responsibility that accompanied her power. She stopped touching people and things all together, whenever she could. Sometimes she wore gloves inside her temperate Phoenix home just so she didn't have to read anything. Renee tried to talk to her about it, but Bella refused. She just wanted her sixth sense to stop, to disappear and let her be.

Bella found an outlet for her frustration: running. She began to run every day, going for miles until she had to stop, letting her mind run free and muscles ache. She didn't have to have any contact with another individual, and she felt like she existed only within herself. No dealing with the thoughts and feelings of others, no sifting through someone else's memories, no carrying the weight of others on her shoulders. She was the only one living in her mind, and she loved it.

She was now sixteen, hyper-intelligent, a track star, and a loner. She had acquaintances at her high school, but most everyone stayed clear. People who had gone to school with her for years assumed she had a fear of touch – haptophobia, she learned. People gave her a wide berth, and for that she was thankful. She still had to deal with touching her schoolbooks and homework handed back from her teachers, and sitting in desks shared with others, but she managed. She got flashes of energies and thoughts, but she was able to file them away without examining them. She found a way to seem, and sometimes feel, normal.

As she trudged to the guidance counselor's office, her hands jammed into her own pockets, she fretted over the myriad of ways her heart could fail in a moment's time. She took a deep breath, and reached for the doorknob, ignoring all of the faces and voices that flashed in her mind as she touched it. She stepped through the door to find the counselor, Ms. Sampson, looking at her sympathetically. She gestured for Bella to sit, and so she perched on the edge of an uncomfortable chair.

"Bella, dear, I'm afraid that…well, I've got some bad news," Ms. Sampson began hesitantly. "There was some sort of accident, and your mother is in the hospital. You'll need to get there immediately. You're excused for the rest of the day, sweetie."

"What kind of accident? And what hospital is she at?" Bella felt numb as the reality of the situation seeped into her skin and settled into her bones.

"I don't have any information on what happened, but she's at St. Joseph's," Ms. Sampson explained. "Will you be able to drive yourself?"

"Uh, yeah, of course," Bella said as she stood and exited the room without saying another word. She kept a slow pace as she rounded the corner before breaking into a sprint down the hallway. She burst through the double doors and in a moment of panic, couldn't remember where she'd parked that morning. Her head whipped from side to side and then she ran towards the side lot, reminding herself that she parked in the same spot every morning.

She unlocked the door to the tiny compact car with shaky hands, and flung her backpack in the passenger seat. She pulled out without buckling her seat belt, and not bothering to turn down the music blaring from her speakers. She wished she had someone else, anyone else, to talk to or ask to go with her to the hospital, but she had no one. Her father was a thousand miles away, and she didn't have any close friends. Her mother wasn't dating anyone, and Bella didn't have any of her coworkers' phone numbers. She would have to deal with this on her own.

She parked outside of the ER entrance, assuming that's where her mother was taken, and was thankful for the automatic doors. She didn't want to have to touch a door that a million people had gone through already, each with their own story and trauma and heartache. She asked the woman at the desk where her mother could be, barely able to get her name out.

"Renee Swan, she – she was in an accident, is she here?"

"Um, yes, why don't you wait just a second? A doctor will be down shortly to speak with you," the woman told her. Bella stopped and watched as the woman made a quiet call.

"Why can't I see her?"

"Just wait for the doctor, he'll be here in just a moment," was all the woman would tell her. Bella felt her chest constrict as her breaths became harsh and prickly, but she willed herself to stay calm.

Moments passed in a blur, and suddenly a man in blue scrubs stood in front of her, a look of apology on his face.

"Miss Swan? Renee Swan's daughter?"

"Yes, where is she? What happened? Is she going to be okay?"

"Is there anyone with you? Your father, or –"

"No, there's no one! It's just me, tell me!"

"Maybe we should call someone to come down –"

"Just fucking tell me!"

The doctor didn't flinch at her volume or her words, merely nodding and giving her a tight-lipped grimace.

"Your mother was found earlier today, on your street. We think she may have been a victim of a hit-and-run. The police are investigating, but…she lost a lot of blood, Miss Swan. She…she was barely holding on, and was pronounced dead upon arrival. The paramedics did everything they could. I'm sorry," he said genuinely. Bella's eyes widened until she was sure they would fall out of her head. She couldn't think or move or speak, and then the doctor reached out to steady her with his hand.

Bella saw pictures, flashes of her mother's broken, bloody body, and she crumpled to the floor. It was too much, but the doctor wouldn't let go of her. She jerked her arm away from him, trying to stop the images she saw, but his hands just landed somewhere else on her as he tried to help her. Bella could see the way her mother's face had been mutilated almost beyond recognition. She saw the way her leg was bent in the wrong direction. She saw the large gash across her throat and down her chest, her bones exposed and her veins ripped open.

Bella promptly vomited on the floor, begging the doctor to let go of her as soon as she was finished. She didn't want to see that – she shouldn't have ever had to see that.

She was swiftly moved to a chair, where she was handed a paper cup of water, and she twitched each time someone nearly touched her. She didn't want to see anymore. The doctor stayed with her, standing over her and asking her questions to make sure she was coherent. Two police officers found her and Bella was able to make her voice work to ask what they knew. She discovered it was very little.

"As best we can tell so far, she was crossing the street, and someone hit her. There are no skid marks, or any clues as to what kind of car, and no neighbors saw – or heard – anything. We'll continue the investigation," one of the officers told her. She managed to tell him her father's name, citing him as a Police Chief in Washington, and they said they'd work on contacting him right away. Bella breathed a little more deeply knowing her father would be there soon.

The doctor asked Bella if she'd be able to identify her mother, since she wasn't carrying an ID or anything, and she agreed. She was led to a small, stark white room, with only one fluorescent light on. Renee was lying under a white sheet, her face covered, and the rest of the room was in shadows. Bella's body trembled violently as she stepped closer, everything inside of her rattling and trying to bust out of her pores. She felt like her own mind and organs were revolting against her. The sheet was pulled aside at her mother's hip, revealing the tattoo she had of a tiger lily. Bella nodded, recognizing it, and in a perverse manner she wanted to look at her mother's body one last time. But she didn't. She didn't ask them to move the sheet any further. She just stared at the prone, lifeless form before her and thought about wailing or screaming or dying herself, but nothing happened. She was empty.

Her morbid curiosity got the best of her in one way, however. She'd never touched a dead body before, and she wondered what she would be able to read there. Would her mother reveal her murderer? Would she have thought of Bella in her last moments? What would be awaiting Bella's touch? She had to know. She tentatively touched the skin around the lily tattoo, and Bella was jerked into her mother's memory, seeing it like it was through her own eyes, burned on her own retinas.

_A man stood before her, his face ashen, his blue eyes glowing, and straight white teeth dripping with blood. He gazed hungrily at her, his grip tight on her body – _Bella could almost feel it herself_ – and she heard bones snapping. Her mother's voice cried weakly._

"_Why?"_

"_Because I wanted you. I had to know how you tasted. You were a bit of a let down, though," the man said with a maniacal laugh. His hand rose suddenly, too fast to see, and then clawed at her throat. _

"_Wha—what are –"_

"_I have to cover my tracks, sweetheart. No one needs to know what really happened to you," he told her._

"_Vam…vampire," Renee whispered finally, her voice faltering as her heartbeat slowed. _The image went black.

Bella ripped her hand away from her mother's skin, the final moments of her life too macabre and frightening to deal with.

Could it be true? Was it possible?

Did vampires exist?

Bella questioned everything she'd ever known and heard and seen, suddenly thrown into a world she didn't know was real. Was the memory now running through her brain nothing more than a dream, a hallucination occurring in her mother's mind as she lay dying in the street? Could Bella trust what she'd seen?

The questions swirled into a crescendo in her mind, and she exited the room before she drove herself mad.

At some point, she was taken home. She saw the dark spot on the street where her mother's blood was spilled. She sat in her living room staring out the front window, waiting for something she wasn't sure would come.

Clarity. Assurance. Anger. Sadness. Anything.

Her father would be getting in sometime that night, so she would wait for him to come. She battled with herself, not sure if she should tell him what she saw when she touched her mother, or if she should keep it to herself.

Time slipped away from her as she tried to come to grips with what she saw. She knew that her curious mind wouldn't let go of the possibility of a vampire killing her mother easily. And she saw no reason to discount her mother's memory – Renee wasn't exactly obsessed with the supernatural, and she never spoke of such creatures. It wasn't something she would've stumbled upon and latched onto, causing it to morph into a dream in her last moments. Bella would find out as much as she could about this possible vampire, and she would do what she could to avenge her mother's death.

Charlie arrived at some point. Bella still hadn't cried. They went to the funeral, where Bella didn't cry. They packed up her belongings, and sold her mother's house. They donated most of her mother's things, and Bella didn't cry as they drove away from the only place she'd really ever called home. She had no friends to say goodbye to, and no loose ends to tie up. She was moving to Washington to live with her father, and to complete the last year and a half of her high school education. She would try to blend in, she would try to act normal, she would stay away from others and never touch anyone.

And she would exhaust every medium she could for finding out the truth about vampires. She would devote her life to it.

As she put her books on shelves in her new room, in her new house, in her new town of Forks, she finally gave in and cried. She curled up on her bed, thinking through the years she'd spent with her mother, and all the ways she'd begrudged her. Renee supported and comforted her, and never shunned her for the way she was. Bella was an ungrateful little shit, she could see now, and she couldn't do a damn thing about it. Her mother was gone. Taken from her prematurely, and the only way Bella could ever make it up to her would be to make sure that whoever – whatever – did this to her would pay.

So Bella allowed herself a few hours to mourn. She allowed her heart to ache and throb, she allowed her tear ducts to expel every sad thought she held inside, and when she awoke the next morning, she was new. Stronger. Hardened. Ready.

She opted not to run track at Forks High. She wanted to fly under the radar as much as possible, so she wore nondescript clothing, her hair down and hiding her face, and gloves on her hands at all times. It was cold enough in Washington that it didn't look terribly odd until spring began to warm to summer and Bella wore her gloves still. She had a thin pair of stretchy, knit ones that weren't too hot, and she was able to write easily in them. Her teachers and peers sometimes shot her questioning looks, but no one ever asked. Most people knew why she had moved to Forks, and they all seemed to be under the impression that she was just dealing with her grief in an odd way. She was pretty sure that the same old rumors – her haptophobia at it again – were circulating, along with new ones. A lot of students thought she might be a cutter since her sleeves were always long.

Bella wasn't mocked openly, but she knew she was an outsider. She was the weird kid. No one associated with her willingly, and she was okay with that. It provided her ample time to research her newfound interests.

She found that while the Internet provided her with site after site of information, it all seemed a bit…lacking and unrealistic. She took to ordering reprints of books from the seventeen and eighteen hundreds, mostly filled with tales of Hindu or Nordic origin. She spent the next eighteen months scouring books and occasionally referencing websites before compiling her own lists of rules to live by.

She recorded them in a small binder, written in a code only she would understand, so that no one could know what she was creating guidelines for. She was a woman possessed, paranoid that she would be discovered, and a hermit. The summer before college, Charlie grew increasingly worried about her mental state. She never went anywhere – not even the kitchen – without wearing her gloves, and she was forever writing in a cryptic-looking notebook. She spoke rarely, and though she'd finished school with a 4.0, she had failed to make a single friend while at Forks High. He hoped that going to Seattle for school would do her some good.

Bella knew that she pulled away from her father, especially in the months before moving away for school. She felt somewhat guilty that she hadn't made the most of her time with him, but she couldn't stop looking for more information, ways to protect herself and her father, ways to spot and kill a vampire, etc. She had to know everything so that nothing could surprise her.

A year into her college experience, she knew she had a problem. She dreamed nightly of the mysterious vampire who'd taken her mother's life. Her mind, after hours and days of research, had taken to inserting additional information and scenarios into her dreams. She began to forget what she actually saw that day. She couldn't remember what exactly her mother's skin showed her, and she started to question her own sanity. She looked at herself in the mirror, noting her extremely pale skin, hollowed cheeks, stringy hair, and gloved hands with disdain. She had gone too far; the skin of her back was covered with an enormous tattooed crucifix, surrounded by Latin phrases.

_Carpe noctem_ – seize the night

_Luceat lux vestra_ – let your light shine

_Dum vita est, spes est_ – while there is life, there is hope

She hadn't seen her father in almost a year, her studies were suffering, she didn't have single person she could call a friend, and her roommate constantly swore under her breath at her, citing her social ineptitude and delusional behavior. Her roommate was a psych major, so maybe she wasn't too far off.

Bella's binder was filled to overflowing with information on vampires that she'd gathered, and a lot that she inferred herself. She wore a long necklace with a vial of holy water attached to it at all times, and carried a small silver cross in her pocket everyday. Her room was filled with random iron bookends and crosses, and she had vases of garlic bulbs planted sporadically. She wasn't surprised her roommate thought she was crazy; Bella began to wonder if maybe, in fact, she was.

In a rash move, she threw her binder into a dumpster along the back of her dorm. Even if someone found it, they would only see the mutterings of a crazy woman. She knew she needed to get rid of it, and begin to let go. She decided she had to take back control of her life, instead of continuing to live in her own fantasy/horror world.

She immediately took her gloves off and put them in a drawer. She took a shower, and while her hair was wet, cut eight inches off of it. Her roommate came home then, and looked at her in bewilderment.

"Jane, um…what are you doing later? I was thinking about going out or something," Bella said timidly. She had barely spoken a word to Jane since moving in together, and she didn't know how well received she would be. Jane stared at her in shock before finally moving her lips to form words.

"Well, uh…I, uh…I was going to meet my brother, and some of his friends…would you…like to come with us?"

"That would be great! Um, can you tell me if my hair is even in the back," Bella said as she pointed shyly at the newly shorn strands.

"Sure," Jane said cautiously. "So…what's with the change of heart?"

Bella sat quietly while Jane neatened the back of her hair up with scissors, debating what to tell her. She didn't want to say too much, and scare her off so quickly.

"A few years ago, something…bad happened…my mother was…killed," she began, and she could feel Jane stiffen behind her. "And I've just been…very wrapped up in it, I guess. I know that I…I come across as really weird. But, I just have a hard time…with people."

"Oh, Bella," Jane said sympathetically. "I can only imagine how difficult that was for you. I'm here to help, if you need me."

"Thanks, Jane."

Jane squeezed one of Bella's bare hands briefly, and Bella couldn't help but shiver slightly. She hadn't felt someone else's skin in years, and she hadn't had to deal with flashes from someone else in just as long. She saw instantly that Jane was sincere in her sympathy, and she also could tell that she'd had sex earlier that day. Bella wished she could turn off her 'gift', but knew it was impossible. She'd been struggling to do just that since she was twelve.

Jane reiterated that Bella should come out with her that night. When the two arrived at the restaurant to meet the others, Jane put her arm around her shoulders in a movement of solidarity. That night, Bella met Jane's brother, Alec, who looked at her in surprise. Bella assumed that Jane had filled him in on how strange her roommate was, but he was pleasant to her just the same. By the end of the night, he asked for her phone number. By the end of the week, they'd gone out. By the end of the month, they were exclusive, and sleeping together.

Bella was incredibly nervous about being in such close proximity to another person for so long, and in a moment of desperation, she told Alec about her ability. He was distrusting at first, until she gripped his hand and proceeded to relay each of his thoughts back to him. He was convinced, and did everything he could to help her deal with the extra thoughts and feelings. Eventually, they were able to be successfully intimate, and Bella was learning to manage her control. She could focus and block out some of his thoughts if she could maintain her concentration, and she also found that during the throws of sex her mind was on a different plateau anyway – where Alec's thoughts were just a hum in the background, not a distraction.

They dated through his senior year, but the two decided to part amicably when he had to move for grad school. They stayed in contact, making sure to keep their friendship alive, and Bella knew he would always be there for her.

He was the only person outside of her family that had ever known about her ability. She never told him the truth of her mother's 'accident' and she never let him know about her earlier obsession with vampires. She told him her tattoos were birthed from a Latin class she'd taken before, and that the silver cross she continued to carry belonged to her mother, and that was why he kept it with her always.

She didn't feel guilty about lying to him; he didn't need to know the strange and dark places she'd lived for those years. She didn't like to reflect on them herself. Of course, since old habits die hard, her iron fixtures and garlic bulbs were still present in her apartment, and the vial of holy water sat in a pocket in her purse. She couldn't forget all that she'd read and learned, and what she'd seen from her mother's perspective that day those years ago, but she wouldn't let it take over her life.

So, in her last semester of college, she contacted her old school in Forks to see if she could TA for any classes. She was looking forward to graduating and moving forward with her life. She was ready to put the final nail in the coffin that was her journey from age sixteen to twenty-two. Of course, all of those wishes died when she picked up an essay, handed to her by Angela Cheney, the teacher she was assisting, written by one Edward Cullen.

She'd gotten used to the murmur that passed through her mind as she went through the stacks of papers she was sorting, but the image of a blood bank flashed into her mind and she froze. She ran her fingers over the typed lines, and the page almost revealed to her the coldness of its author. The picture would not disappear, nor would the red word in her mind. Blood. It's all that was on the page, and she couldn't set it down. She perused the essay, noting that it was very well written, and she committed the name to memory. She would wait for sixth period, and she would figure out which student was Edward Cullen, and she would hopefully solve the mystery behind the lingering dark energies on his essay.

Some days, she had herself convinced that it was all one big mistake. Vampires didn't exist, she'd tell herself. But other days, other nights, she lay awake in her bed, afraid of what could come for her, afraid of what forces could be lingering in every alley and behind every corner. Some days, she knew that vampires were real, and she prayed that she would never have to put her knowledge to use against one.

But this day, the day she felt light and warm, she was overtaken by a coldness. She watched the students file in the classroom, some glancing at her inquisitively, others not noticing her. She saw him walk in, alone, not speaking to anyone, his skin pale, his demeanor stiff, his gait graceful, and his eyes glowing an inhuman green, and she knew. She knew he was Edward Cullen, and she felt certain she knew what he was.

Her test after class proved her theory, and as she returned to her father's house that night, she wondered what he was doing in Forks, why he was pretending to be a regular teenager at school, and if there was anyway for him to know that she knew. Was he alone? How long had be been there? What was his plan?

Bella knew that she was risking a lot – possibly everything – but she had to find out the truth. She cursed herself for throwing away her binder, though she had most everything in it memorized. Tomorrow she would watch him, ask about him, and see what she could unearth. She felt the edges of her past obsession pulling at her, tangling in her limbs and hair and trying to overtake her, but she had to resist. She couldn't lose herself in this now; it was crucial that she keep her wits about her.

Edward Cullen wouldn't know what hit him.

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**Follow me on Twitter (at) gingingleelee**

**Next chapter will be up this weekend.**


	3. Chapter 3: What Couldn't Be

**Another chapter this week! Thank you everyone who's checked this out and left a review - I promise to respond to them over the next few days! Next chapter will be up Wednesday, so hopefully this will hold you over until then. You'll get a peek into some more of my vampire mythology throughout this chapter.**

**Huge thanks to my beta, anythingzombie, for being lightning fast as usual.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Song recs: Arcade Fire - "In the Backseat" and MGMT - "Kids"**

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Edward Cullen was perplexed. He was rarely, if ever, perplexed – especially by a human. As a one hundred year old vampire, he had seen a lot. He'd been to many places, far more than one human could hope to ever go, and he'd seen millions of people firsthand. He could hardly imagine a more fulfilling existence, and he wanted for nothing.

And then a small, insignificant girl, a student teacher, touched him. He hadn't been voluntarily touched by human in…too long. He didn't know if it had ever happened. When he entered the classroom, he smelled her immediately. Fruity, fresh, delicious. She was new. He watched her throughout the class period, noting that she, too, was watching him. She didn't have the usual look on her face that other girls did when they saw him. She didn't look overwhelmed or lusty or insecure; her heartbeat didn't race at the sight of him. She watched him, but she seemed to be looking for something in particular.

Her eyes finally broke from his as Mrs. Cheney introduced her. Ms. Swan was her name, and he had to admit she was quite attractive for a human. The boys in the classroom were immediately taken with her. As she walked around the room, passing out papers, he could smell the arousal floating through the air as some of them fought to control their impulses. He had no doubt that Ms. Swan would be the subject of fantasies later. While he found her to be easy on the eyes, and her blood smelled of tart apples, he was not interested in her in the slightest.

Until he tried to walk out of the classroom, and her tiny hand grabbed his arm, pointedly sliding towards the bare skin of his hand. He couldn't imagine why she was touching him – most humans were instinctually afraid of him, though they didn't realize it. She wasn't shying away from him. She complimented his paper, and for one instant her skin touched his. He felt a spark of electricity, almost painfully, before he was able to pull away. He saw in her chocolate eyes that she appeared satisfied. Her face lit up as though she had a secret.

She smelled heavenly, but he tried not to think of the blood pumping just beneath her creamy skin. He exited the room quickly, hurrying to his last class. His mind strayed to thoughts of her through the hour, wondering about where she was from and why she acted so strangely. He hated that she'd made herself doubly intriguing by her actions.

As he entered his house, the sight of two of his fellow vampires, Jasper and Alice, greeted him instantly. They were perched together on the couch, Jasper reading aloud as Alice stared unseeingly at the wall. Edward said nothing to them, opting to head into the kitchen in search of Emmett and his partner, Rosalie. They both attended Forks High as well, but drove separately. He wanted to talk about the strange human he had encountered, but he also didn't know how to broach the topic.

After listening to the pair chatter inanely about hunting later, Edward finally spoke, interrupting them rudely.

"There was someone new at school today. She was…interesting," he said curtly.

"Edward," Emmett said in an admonishing tone. "I thought you weren't going to hunt humans anymore."

"And you especially can't kill in Forks. At least go to Seattle," Rose added, not looking him in the eye as she spoke.

"I'm not planning on killing anyone. And I won't kill Ms. Swan," he said. Aside from the occasional serial killer run amuck, he veered from the traditional vampires' way of hunting. He opted to feed from the bags of blood Carlisle could procure from the hospital where he worked. Carlisle, his wife, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice had all moved on to drinking the blood of animals. Edward refused to stoop that low, arguing that someone had to remain strong enough to protect their makeshift family. He wouldn't stalk and kill humans, but he needed their blood to stay strong. His family members were weakened because of their drinking preferences, and he wasn't willing to give up his superior strength.

Carlisle abstained from human blood first, so he could follow his lifelong dream of going into medicine. Esme agreed to drink from animals, as well, as a show of support. Rose and Emmett decided to go along with it so they could exist more easily in the human world. Jasper…he was fueled by nothing more than his own guilt.

"You're not taking a pet, are you, Edward?" Jasper had appeared at the entryway, Alice tucked under his arm. Jasper knew all too well the perils of taking a pet. He found Alice many years ago, a small, unsuspecting human, and he wanted to prolong his enjoyment of her blood. He compelled her psychically, and she followed him around for years, willingly giving up her blood for him to feed. He didn't realize he was in love with her until he'd used mind control too many times for her cognitive skills to perform any longer. He hoped that changing her into a vampire would set her mind right. He fed her his own blood and snapped her neck, and when she rose again, undead, her body was strong, but her mind was beyond repair. The mental abuse she'd suffered for nearly a decade had hollowed out the better parts of her brain, leaving her a moving vegetable.

She never spoke, and no one knew if she thought at all. Jasper hunted for her, bringing down animals for her to drink from, and took care of every aspect of her life. He hadn't known what he was doing to her along the way, but he still loved her, and would never part from her.

"Of course not! I could never do that," Edward countered. He wished suddenly he hadn't brought up the subject of Ms. Swan.

"So what's so interesting about her?"

"I'm not entirely sure. She's just different. When class was over – she's a student teacher for Mrs. Cheney – she grabbed my arm and held me there. It was surreal," he said, unsure why that one motion had befuddled him so much.

"That is sort of strange, but no cause for you to get your panties in a twist," Emmett said with a snicker. Edward rolled his eyes and opened the fridge, retrieving a bag of blood to heat up. The others moved swiftly out of the kitchen, unable to handle being so close to it and not partaking. He grabbed a mug and poured half of the bag into it, and sat it in the microwave. After a short thirty seconds, he took the mug to his back porch and stretched his legs out, sipping his drink and enjoying the early evening hours.

He would compel her tomorrow, he told himself. He would ask her why she grabbed him. He had to know.

Bella slept fitfully, unable to loosen the image of Edward Cullen standing before her, thirsting for her blood, her hand wrapped around his wrist. She was so close to a vampire, so close, for the first time, and she wasn't afraid. She was curious, a little furious, but she wasn't going to let up, or tuck her tail and run. She would face him tomorrow, and the day after, and she would stand her ground. Even if he didn't know what she was doing, what she knew, or what she was capable of, he would recognize her determination. She was sure of it.

A short phone call to Alec as she got ready for work helped steady her breathing. He could tell something was up, but she just cited her first full day at the school as the source of her nerves. He wished her luck, and she grabbed a toaster pastry on her way out the door, calling goodbye to her father as she went.

She arrived well before any students were at school, and as she passed by the library, she glanced inside to see Mrs. Cheney standing by the front desk, flipping through the local paper. Bella caught her attention just as she took a drink of coffee, and Angela waved hurriedly as she sat her mug back down.

"Bella, you're here early," she said with a sweet smile. Angela was a few years older than Bella. Her younger sister, Maddie, had been in Bella's class, but she was sure that Angela had heard nothing about her.

"Yeah, I wanted to make sure I was able to go over all of your lesson plans before first period," Bella told her. "I just want to be prepared."

"Well, you're already way ahead of my last TA, so don't worry. I think you're going to do great. And, I've got some good news for you," Angela paused while Bella raised an eyebrow. "Mrs. Cope is retiring this year, so if everything goes well with your student teaching, I happen to know that the principal will offer you the position."

"No! Are you serious? Wow – that's so amazing! Mrs. Cope is the other twelfth grade English teacher, right?"

"Yep. I think you'd do great, and I'll tell Principal Banner that myself."

"Wow. Thanks so much, Angela," Bella said enthusiastically. Having a real job prospect excited her, and took her mind off of her little vampire problem momentarily. Her mind immediately flitted back to the topic taking over her every thought, and decided to ask Angela about him. "So, the student, Edward Cullen? What's his story? He seems very intelligent."

"Oh, he is. He easily could be valedictorian, but I'm pretty sure that he does enough to maintain good grades, but without being at the top of the class. He's extremely smart, though, and he never takes a single note," Angela explained. "And, of course, he's incredibly good looking."

"Oh! Um, I hadn't really noticed," Bella said. Which was true. She supposed he was attractive, though she was too distracted by his inhuman nature to take in his good looks.

"It's okay to look, Bella, just be careful," Angela warned. Bella's plan had failed miserably – now it just looked like she had a crush on a student, which would obviously be totally inappropriate.

"Don't worry, I'm not even looking. I'm not going to pull a Mary Kay Letourneau or anything," Bella said with a chuckle. Angela joined in, and the two headed down the hall to their classroom.

"You should see Edward's father, Dr. Cullen. Talk about dreamy! But, he's married," Angela said as she flipped on the overhead lights in the room.

"His father?" Bella wondered if he was a vampire as well. Most likely. And if he was pretending to be Edward's father, he was probably his creator. How many vampires were in Forks? "Do they look alike?"

"Well, Edward's adopted, so they don't resemble one another, except they're both very pale. But, who isn't in Washington?"

"Right," Bella said with a faint smile. "And Dr. Cullen's wife? She also is…pale?"

"Yes, just the same. They have three other children, but none of them are biologically theirs," Angela stated as she erased the previous day's lesson from the board. "Edward, and his brother Emmett, were adopted when they were younger. Rosalie and her brother, Jasper, are foster children that were taken in by the couple more recently. Jasper is older, but Emmett and Rosalie both are seniors like Edward. They're actually a couple – quite a scandal for this small town!"

"That is a scandal," Bella said halfheartedly. She was trying to catalogue all of the family members as Angela spoke. She assumed all of them were vampires, and Rosalie and Emmett were students here. "Are either of them – Rosalie and Emmett, I mean – in any of your other classes?"

"Actually, they're in our first period class, so you'll see them soon," Angela said as she stacked freshly-copied quizzes on her desk. "Sorry I'm talking your ear off about the Cullens – I'm usually not such a gossip."

"Oh, that's okay. I asked," Bella told her, trying not to let her anxiety show. She would just have to wait for the other two vampires to show up to class, and Bella would be able to feel them out. She wondered idly if there were any assignments of theirs she could touch before class started. "So, do you have anything I need to hand out, or grade perhaps?"

"Um, well, actually," Angela started as she pulled some papers out from a filing cabinet. "These are graded, but I haven't recorded them in the system yet. You could do that, if you like."

Bella grabbed the stack and set down at the computer, quickly entering the grades for each student. Most of the papers were coated with typical teenage thoughts – love, lust, hormones, school assignments, college worries, and the like. She moved to the next paper, and upon touching it, a vision of a deer running flashed into her brain. She looked at the name on the paper – Emmett Cullen. She briefly considered the option that he wasn't a vampire, but lived with one. She found this to be farfetched, but didn't discount it immediately. Other than the vision of the deer, she mainly only felt a rush of love vibrating from the sheet.

She moved through the other papers quickly, spotting Rosalie Hale's name before reading her paper. Bella saw a car, a fast, red one, and again, a deer running through the woods. Could the Cullens just be avid hunters? But why would they have a vampire living in their home? Bella didn't sense the usual insecurity that riddled teenage girls' belongings, so she knew something was different about Rosalie.

Students began to filter in the classroom as Bella finished her work. She surreptitiously glanced around the room every few seconds to see if anyone looked like a vampire, but so far, only normal looking humans had walked in the room. Just before the bell rang, a boy and girl – rather, a man and woman – walked into the room, hand in hand, looking too perfectly put together to be just human. Bella could see instantly they possessed the same natural grace as Edward, along with his smooth and flawless pale skin. Their eyes didn't seem to glow ethereally like Edward's but Bella was fairly certain they, too, were vampires.

Bella managed to not stare openly at them at they took their seats at the far side of the classroom. She wanted to find a way to touch them – both of them – just so she would know for sure, but she wasn't going to push her luck. She had a feeling that vampires probably didn't take too kindly to nosy humans forcing themselves on them. Bella peeled her eyes away from Rosalie just in time to see Emmett give her an appraising glance before looking away. Bella shook her head to clear it, feeling as though she were stuck in some sort of alternate reality where the things that haunted her nightmares were suddenly walking and living right in front of her, in broad daylight, no less.

That was another puzzling part of the equation. In Bella's research, she'd never found anything conclusive about vampires and the sun. Obviously day time was safe for these vampires, but Forks was overcast enough that they wouldn't have to hide out from the sunshine. She'd read, also, about powerful, old vampires being able to come out during the day, but she had no way of knowing if the Cullens were that type or not.

Regardless, she categorized them as Day Walkers and added that to the list she was making in her head. While she felt bloodlust come from Edward, Emmett and Rosalie's papers gave nothing away of the sort, apart from their apparent hunting exploits.

The class ended swiftly, and Bella watched the two vampires exit casually. While they looked out of place, they acted comfortable. They didn't speak to anyone else, that she could tell, but they didn't seem to be struggling in the midst of so many humans.

Perhaps some vampires have better control than the one that killed her mother those years ago.

After two more classes, Bella ate in the teacher's lounge with Angela, finding that she really enjoyed her company. Halfway through eating, the boys' gym teacher, Mr. Newton, sauntered up to them, introducing himself and butting in on their conversation. After making a few innuendo-laden comments to Bella, and wriggling his eyebrows one too many times, Bella was getting frustrated. Thankfully, her phone buzzed, showing that Alec sent her a text message.

- Hope ur 1st days goin well. Call me.

Bella smiled and held her phone up as she took an opportunity to dispatch Mr. Newton. "Sorry, I have to make a call. My boyfriend wants to know how my first full day is going."

She faked an apologetic smile and Mr. Newton backed off, leaving the table with a short huff. Bella excused herself and called Alec, giving him an abbreviated rundown of the day so far, leaving out the part about finding out a coven of vampires were settled in Forks. Once she returned to her table – she and Angela had a free period after lunch, and they lingered in the lounge – Angela looked at her with a smile.

"You didn't mention that you were dating anyone."

"Well, actually, I'm not. That was my ex. We're still good friends, but I thought it might be beneficial to make Mr. Newton over there think I'm attached."

"Well played, Bella," Angela said with a knowing laugh.

Edward sat tensely in the cafeteria, awaiting the arrival of his 'siblings' and trying to ignore the asinine mutterings of his classmates. Emmett and Rosalie finally made it to the table, both wearing smirks of satisfaction, and the smell of sex oozing off of them.

"Where the fuck did you two go?"

"Eddie…that's no way for a man of the early twentieth century to speak, now is it?" Emmett winked at Rosalie as he pushed a few pieces of broccoli around on his plate as though he were eating.

"Well, fuck, Emmett, I didn't think of that…but, since we're sitting here in two-thousand-fucking-nine, I think I'll just speak like the rest of these cats," Edward said in an irritated voice.

"No one says 'cats' anymore," Rosalie pointed out. Edward growled lowly, but Rosalie just smiled.

"So, we saw your Ms. Swan this morning," Emmett began before Rose interrupted.

"She's so plain, I don't know why you're even interested at all."

"I didn't say I was interested in her in any way at all, I just found her odd," Edward explained as he shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose as though he had a headache.

"Ah, she's not too bad. But you're right, she didn't seem scared of us, but she also didn't seem…I don't know, dazzled or whatever. There are a lot of humans in the world, and they're not all the same. You just found the odd duck of them, I guess."

Edward nodded, not wanting to further the conversation. He sat silently as the couple across from him whispered, and he tried to tune them out. He heard the irritating voice of Jessica Stanley three tables away, and before he could turn his ears away, he heard something that piqued his interest.

"So, I told my sister about our student teacher, Ms. Swan, and you'll never guess what she said. Apparently Miss Bella Swan went to school here, just four years ago, and she was a fucking weirdo! Cynthia said that Bella never talked to anyone, and she was, like, some crazy mental patient or something. She moved here after her mom was killed in some accident, and just went nutso. She used to cut herself and always wore gloves. All the time, she never took them off. Weird, huh? And Cynthia said she carried this journal around with her everywhere she went, and my sister saw it one day, and she said it was just a bunch of jibberish. And she wore this weird necklace with, like, a vial of something on it. They all though it was a vial of blood – how fucked up is that?"

The girls at the table all started talking animatedly about the rumor, suddenly all confirming that they, too, thought there was something off about Ms. Swan. Edward sighed and shook his head, but his curiosity got the best of him, and he found himself down the hall and headed into the library before he could even tell his siblings where he was going.

He quickly found the section where the school's yearbooks were for the past fifty years, and he grabbed both 2004 and 2005. There was no photo of her in the 2004 yearbook, only her name listed as a new student. He stood in a corner and flipped through the book at vampire speed, hoping to find a candid of her, but he came up empty. He opened the next year's, and flipped to the 'S' section of the senior pictures. There she was, Isabella Swan. Her hair was much longer, and looked greasy. Her face was drawn and pale, her eyes looking too large for her face. She wasn't smiling. He could see a blank cord hanging from her neck, where presumably her 'vial of blood' would be, but the picture didn't show it.

He scanned through the rest of the yearbook, finally finding her in the background of a picture, her head down and a brown binder in her hands. That must've been the mysterious journal she carried. He saw the small tubular vial hanging from her neck, in what looked like a gray plastic, or perhaps steel, casing. Her arms were covered in long sleeves, and she wore dark gloves on her hands. As much as he'd wanted to laugh off the ridiculous accusations Jessica Stanley set forth, Edward found himself wondering how much of it were true.

Bella seemed well-adjusted now, and she looked much healthier than she had before. Perhaps she'd just been suffering the grief of losing her mother while in high school. Perhaps she was just a social pariah. Perhaps she was a cutter, but got help in college. He chastised himself for being so involved in what she may have been some four years ago, wishing Ms. Bella Swan weren't invading his thoughts so often.

Sixth period arrived, and Bella found herself excited to examine Edward Cullen once more. Though she was certain of what he was, she wanted to see what other information she could gather about him. She had no idea what she was going to do when she had all the info she could find, but she would have to devise a plan.

Was she going to kill Edward Cullen, vampire? Maybe.

Was she going to try to torture him for information? Possibly.

Was she going to try to befriend him and learn more about family? Most likely no.

She wasn't sure where her path would take her, but she had come too far to not follow it. Edward walked into the room, looking a bit more delicious than she had recognized the day before, and she suddenly knew what Angela was talking about. The boy was sex on legs, perfect body, perfect aloof smirk, perfectly disarrayed hair, green apple eyes…she hadn't heard him speak yet, but she was certain his voice was pure, sexual intoxication, if his face was any indication.

She furtively stole glances at him through the class period, noticing that more than once he looked irritated as he gazed back at her. She felt her face flush, realizing that she was a teacher lusting after a student.

Never mind the fact that said student was a motherfucking vampire, oh no.

Bella saw his eyes flash in congruence with her blushing cheeks, and she felt a tinge of fear. Even if she knew everything there was to know about vampires, which she didn't, she wouldn't necessarily be able to fight one off. She only had a small amount of holy water, and one dinky silver cross. She had no idea if the massive crucifix inked on her back would protect her, but she hoped that it would. If Edward Cullen chose to harm her, she probably wouldn't stand a chance.

She also had no idea what would actually kill a vampire. Possibly a wooden stake, but also possibly a silver bullet blessed by a priest. Apparently sunlight wouldn't harm him. A silver chain might incapacitate him temporarily, but not kill him. She tried to rid herself of murderous thoughts, and focus on Angela's lesson. The students took a quiz at the beginning of class, which Bella graded during the short class period so that they could look over their mistakes before they left. As Bella walked through the room, handing back the quizzes, her foot caught on an errant book in the aisle, causing her to trip and drop the rest of the stack.

She was unfortunately positioned right by Edward Cullen's desk, so she stooped to pick the papers back up as quickly as she could. His proximity seemed to crackle with static in the air between them, and she heard him say lightly,

"While there is life, there is hope."

Bella obviously recognized the phrase instantly as being that of her southernmost tattoo, and reached back with one hand to pull down her shirt as it had risen up her back. She stood quickly, not looking at him as she turned his quiz face down on his desk before walking away. Her embarrassment over tripping was trumped by the fact that she'd unknowingly shown half the class part of her tattoo, which was a definite no-no for a teacher. She would have to dress more modestly so as not to have another situation like that.

She took a moment to be surprised that Edward knew Latin well enough to translate the phrase below her crucifix.

She also took a moment to confirm that his voice was, in fact, an aphrodisiac.

Damn it, she thought.

Angela seemed unperturbed by Bella's foul, and smiled gratefully at her after she finished handing back the quizzes. Bella spent the rest of the class time looking at her folded hands in her lap.

The bell rang and Angela instructed the students to give their graded quizzes back to Bella so the grades could be recorded. Bella stood by the doorway as each student handed over their paper, the boys trying to catch her eye as she studiously ignored them. Edward Cullen was the last student to leave the room, and as he lay his quiz on top of the stack, his glowing apple eyes peered into hers deeply.

"Ms. Swan, why did you grab my arm yesterday?" She saw his pupils constrict dramatically as the green orbs grew impossibly brighter. With sudden comprehension, she knew that he was trying to compel her – use mind control, or VMT as she affectionately referred to it in her head (Vampire Mind Trick) – and she also knew in that instant that she was somehow immune. If she could both recognize what he was doing and decide for herself how to answer, his VMT clearly wasn't working. She smiled at him.

"I told you, I just wanted to commend you on your essay." Edward looked startled as she answered completely on her own.

"Why do you have Latin tattooed on your back?"

"I just like the language," she told him, working to hold the smile on her face. As though to prove that she wasn't under his control at all, she winked. Edward backed away quickly, visibly shaken and exited the classroom. Bella let out a sigh of relief, unsure if she just did something stupid or not.

Was it wise to let a vampire know that you were immune to his mind tricks? Would it have been better to pretend, or would he have known either way?

She thought it might be best to find a way to whittle a wooden stake to keep by her bed at night, just in case.

Edward Cullen was growing more perplexed by the minute. After seeing the photographic evidence of the mess that was Ms. Bella Swan when she was in high school, he saw her checking him out in his English class. On top of that, he spotted a tattoo written in Latin on her back, clearly situated below something larger that he couldn't see. And then when he tried to compel her to find out why she grabbed him the day before, she resisted. Then she fucking winked!

Who was this strange human? Why was she unafraid of him? How could she just grab his arm and touch his cold skin like it were normal, and how could she have been immune to his mind control? She seemed to be nothing but a frail little girl, yet, she clearly had some sort of power, or strength. He wanted to know more, which made him even angrier.

It was like she was a demon sent to personally devour him, bit by bit, starting with his mind. Ms. Bella Swan had invaded his thoughts and soon she would take them over completely. He didn't want to know what other ways she could worm herself into him.

* * *

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	4. Chapter 4: Why It Happened

**Back again, folks! Thanks for all of you who're reading and reviewing this little story. I really appreciate it!**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Thanks to my beta, anythingzombie, this week and every week.**

**Song Rec: "Intervention" by Arcade Fire**

* * *

Edward sat on his deck, sipping his mug of warm blood, which tasted strangely unappealing to him that evening, trying not to think of Ms. Bella Swan. She was an anomaly, of that he was sure. He had come to the conclusion that she clearly had a brain malfunction, and that was why she had no sense of self-preservation and an inability to be compelled.

Of course, these things were semi-fortunate for her, and damn frustrating for him. He wanted to grab her arm and make her see that he was to be feared, or at least revered, not…winked at. She had gotten under his skin in less than forty-eight hours without trying. He had half a mind to go over to her house – yes, he knew where she lived – and strangle her. Of course, being that close to her neck brought to mind the other things he'd like to do.

First he might lick the column of her throat, allowing her pulse to beat unevenly against his tongue, and then he would lightly kiss and suck on her skin. It would be erotic, and she would nearly come from just feeling his cold mouth against her. She would be so hazy with lust that she wouldn't feel his teeth sink into her skin, and her hot blood would pump down his throat, filling and satisfying him, positively orgasmic –

"What are you thinking of, dear?"

Edward jumped as he realized Esme was watching him intently from the yard. He was so involved in his fantasy of Ms. Bella Swan he didn't hear or see her approach. Even though he was older than Esme by nearly thirty years, he felt strangely guilty for his thoughts. It would've been appropriate for him to be scolded for the gutter his mind had crawled into.

"Um…probably something you'd never want to know about, Esme," he finally answered, her stillness lessening as she leapt the fifteen feet onto the deck. She looked at him appraisingly for a moment before speaking.

"Well…there are some things I can smell that are clearly going on with you right now," she began. "I'd prefer that you were thinking lustful thoughts about a girl, but I have a feeling they were pointed in the direction of feeding."

"Would it make it better if I said that it was a beautiful girl I was feeding from?"

Esme laughed. "A beautiful girl, hmm? Anyone I know?"

"No…she's new in town."

"A classmate?"

"Not exactly. She's the student teacher in my English class. She is beautiful, but also very strange. She's an enigma cemented in my brain, now, a puzzle I want to complete. It's maddening."

"Sounds like it. What's her name?"

"Ms. Isabella Swan, goes by Bella for short," he answered, looking at the tree line, sitting his swiftly cooling blood to the side.

"Bella Swan? The Chief's daughter?"

"Yes, do you know her?"

"Well, of course. You forget, Carlisle and I were settled in Forks for a few years before you joined us," she explained. "I remember her. She was…um…she seemed to be a disturbed young woman."

Edward raised an eyebrow at her.

"But I'm sure she's grown out of that by now. Teenagers are so volatile, as you know," she quickly stated.

"Well, from what I've gathered, her mother died shortly before she came here, so I'm sure it was a difficult time for her. And you know that teenagers are especially cruel to outsiders. She probably was in mourning and had a hard time adjusting, and the others just…just picked her apart. Maybe she wanted to fit in or maybe she just wanted to…fucking disappear. It's ludicrous to expect a seventeen-year-old girl who's just lost her mother to be settled and secure and normal. And what the fuck is normal, anyway? Why should she be ridiculed for a being a bit different? It's not bad to be different. There are too many bland humans on the earth as it is. There should be more Bella Swans," Edward ranted passionately. His former Irish accent tended to come out when he was upset about something, and he slipped easily into his old dialect.

Esme looked appropriately abashed at his words. She hadn't meant to upset him, that much was clear. Edward, himself, was surprised that he was bothered so much by her words. He hadn't known that he felt so empathetic for one Ms. Bella Swan until confronted again with the rumors of her younger years.

"You're right, I'm sorry. It's not my place to speculate, anyway. You think I would've grown out of that by now," she said, holding her hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to offend you."

Edward was silent as she passed him and walked into the house.

"I don't even know why I was so offended," he whispered to himself, uncertain of his own feelings and thoughts. He felt like he was drowning in his confusion, and his lack of self-control.

xXx

"It's okay, Bells, just promise you won't do anything like that again," Charlie said agitatedly as he drove her to the hospital.

She'd literally gone home and tried to whittle a large stick into a sharp stake, only to find that she'd never quite outgrown her clumsiness. The dull Swiss Army knife she was using managed to nick her palm deep enough to need stitches. She cursed her lack of coordination as her father took her to the ER, still being vague about what exactly she was doing with the knife when she got cut.

She'd managed to convince her father that she was just playing around with some sticks after she'd found her old knife. He shook his head at her antics, unsure why she'd have the desire to 'play around with a knife and sticks' but he also knew that Bella had always been a little odd.

They arrived at the hospital quickly – it was only a two-mile drive across the small town. Charlie and Bella walked at a leisurely pace through the automatic doors. Bella had managed to slow the bleeding on her hand with a dishtowel, and Charlie rarely hurried for anything. After giving the receptionist her information, Bella sat and waited while Charlie filled out some papers for her. Bella was regretting switching hands while making her stake, since now her right hand would be sore and somewhat disabled for a few days. After a short wait, an attractive man with blonde hair and pale blue eyes came into the waiting room and retrieved her. He greeted Charlie heartily.

"Chief, good to see you, as always, but I wish it were under better circumstances," the doctor said with a smile. "So this is your daughter, I take it?"

"Yes, sir, this is Bella. Bella, this is Dr. Cullen," Charlie said proudly. Bella started slightly at the name but managed to plaster a smile on her face just in time to say hello.

"So you had a little accident with a knife, huh? Were you fixing dinner?" Dr. Cullen made small talk as he led her back to a small exam room.

"No, I, uh…well, honestly, I was playing around with an old knife I had when I was a kid. It was stupid, really," Bella said in an embarrassed tone.

"Well, none of us are smart all the time, Bella," Dr. Cullen said sweetly. He gingerly unwrapped the towel from her hand, and Bella watched him closely as he took in the amount of blood on her wound. He didn't react at all, however, and Bella again questioned if he even was a vampire. His skin was ivory like Edward's, but his eyes were neutral like Emmett and Rosalie's, and the nearness of her blood didn't effect him at all. As he quickly examined the cut, Bella began to get flashes from his skin, all of which perplexed her further.

She saw patients from earlier, flashes of a blonde boy and a dark haired girl, and a woman with soft brown eyes. She saw the woods and a creek. She saw the brown-eyed woman again, and when she concentrated, she heard the words spoken in his memory, "I love you," whispered reverently on lips. Nothing pointed to vampire, or anything inhuman. She doubted herself for the second time that day.

She was beginning to think that maybe Edward Cullen was just a vampire living with a human family, as peculiar as that seemed.

"So, I know your children," Bella began.

"Oh, you do? Do you go to Forks High?"

"No, not anymore. I'm at student teacher for Mrs. Cheney. Emmett, Rosalie and Edward are in my classes," Bella explained, her voice nearly faltering as she spoke Edward's name.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize. You look so young, still. I hope they aren't giving you any trouble," Dr. Cullen said as he cleaned her cut thoroughly, wearing gloves now, preventing her from seeing anymore into his mind.

"Not at all, they're model students," she said, worried she was laying it on a bit thick. "How long have they been with you? I mean, I was told you adopted them."

"Oh, a while. Edward came along first, I suppose, though he wasn't a permanent fixture for a while. Emmett was adopted soon after Edward, and then Rose and Jasper after that. Jasper's girlfriend, Alice, has come to live with us recently, as well. So we're just one big happy family, I guess," Dr. Cullen stated with a casual air.

"Wow. That's…I can't imagine having such a large family," Bella stated. She also couldn't imagine living in a house full of vampires, though she was starting to get farther and farther away from that suspicion. "Are you from Washington?"

"No, I'm from…well, I moved here from upstate New York, but I actually grew up in England." He finished the last stitch and cut the thread. Bella admired his handiwork, though she wished the cut didn't drift dangerously low onto her wrist.

"That's so cool. Well…are we all done?" Bella was almost disappointed that Dr. Cullen seemed to normal, and human. He nodded and Bella offered him her left hand to shake. "Thanks, Dr. Cullen."

"Call me Carlisle, please, Bella," he said sincerely, and as his cold hand met hers, Bella saw a forest again, but this time, the deer in front of him was not running, it was prone before him and he was sinking his teeth through its fur greedily. Bella could read the thirst in his mind, even as he drank from an animal. She worked to not show anything on her face as she stored this image to think through when she was safely away from the hospital.

Bella made her way out to the waiting room, motioning for her father to follow her, and she walked quickly outside and gulped in the fresh air. Her hand throbbed slightly, but nothing could steal her attention away from the strange picture dancing behind her eyes.

Could it be possible that Dr. Cullen – Carlisle – feeds off of animals? Bella racked her brain, trying desperately to remember if she'd read anything about that before, but she came up empty. She wished for her old coded binder so she could search its contents, but she accepted that it was gone for good. She hadn't known of a vampire drinking the blood of animals instead of humans, but it wasn't implausible. An animal had blood pumping through its veins just as a human, and was a more humane and less, oh, murderous way of life.

That would explain why she got the strange visions of animals and forests from Emmett and Rosalie earlier, but what of Edward? She was certain the he was drinking human blood, probably from the very hospital she was just in, and she tempted him in the classroom the day before.

If the Cullens are all vampires, could only Edward be drinking from humans? Possibly. Yet another item to add to the growing list in her mind.

A small, contained voice in the back of her mind lamented the fact that it had to be Edward that was bad. He had to be the one to fear. He had to be the one that would kill her. She didn't want to think of the reasons behind such a thought.

That night she dreamed the familiar scene of her mother's death, this time the predator's face replaced with Edward's, his sex-filled voice the one saying he needed to taste her. Bella felt intense fear and want at his admission, both afraid of what he would take from her and wanting to give him everything. She awoke in a cold sweat, her heart pounding, and the name 'Edward Cullen' dripping accidentally from her lips.

xXx

Edward was guarded all morning as he walked the halls, passing by unnoticed like the ghost he could be. He heard the whispers from classmates, namely Jessica fucking Stanley, muttering about the suspicious bandage on Ms. Bella Swan's wrist. Edward was unable to totally discredit Jessica's rumors as he saw firsthand that the aforementioned student teacher did, in fact, have a bandage across her palm and part of her wrist. While it was slightly questionable, it didn't appear to be the kind of wound typically associated with one who cuts for fun, or one who cuts to kill themselves.

He felt semi-certain that Ms. Bella Swan is neither of those things.

He made a rash decision to stop and ask her about her hand, disregarding Mrs. Cheney as she watched him quizzically, and the plethora of students settling into their chairs for a class he was not a part of. He slipped into the room, sidling up to her without her noticing, speaking quietly so as not to attract attention.

"What happened to your hand, Ms. Swan?" Bella jumped only slightly, turning to look into Edward's not-so-glowing apple eyes and smiled.

"I was reenacting my childhood love for whittling away at tree limbs and my clumsy as – self, my clumsy self just sort of happened and I sliced my palm," she said sheepishly. "Your father stitched me up, actually."

"Oh, you met Carlisle?" Edward watched her closely as she answered.

"Yes. He seems like a very nice man. You're lucky to have him," she said as she kept eye contact with him.

"You're right. I am lucky. And he's an excellent physician," Edward commented, daintily plucking at her wrist before he could stop himself, as though he could see his father's stitches right through her gauze.

Edward had no idea that he was showing Bella his innermost thoughts at that moment; he didn't know that she saw his concern for her, and that she heard the argument he had with his mother the night before. He didn't know that she saw the way he sat his cup of blood aside distastefully, or the way he wanted not to think of her.

All he thought was that he was touching her wrist for two seconds before releasing it to leave the classroom before the bell rang. He walked away, nodding as he went, not knowing he'd left part of his heart back with her, locked in her mind. Edward was clueless as to what she'd been witness to. So Edward continued on with no regret.

Edward sat happily at lunch, his siblings unsure as to what caused his upbeat attitude but not complaining. He pushed his food around expertly before dumping the tray and nearly skipping to his fifth period class.

He hadn't felt so damn giddy in longer than he cared to remember. He was pretty sure he was still human when he felt like that, and he didn't want to examine it too closely. If he realized how deeply Ms. Bella Swan had affected him, he might try to combat it. He might try to stay moody and hateful. He might try to stay away from her. But since he wasn't examining his feelings too closely, he smiled brightly at her when he entered the English classroom for the second time that day. Bella looked surprised but returned his smile before handing out worksheets to everyone. Mrs. Cheney surprised them by pulling out the movie version of Romeo & Juliet for the class to watch over the next few class periods.

Edward could quote Romeo & Juliet in his sleep – if he ever slept – but he found himself caught up in the story anyway. Two lovers, desperate to be together, despite they myriad of things trying to keep them apart – only finally together in death. He felt that he could relate, even without ever being in love.

At the thought, his eyes snapped to Ms. Bella Swan's seated form, taking in her parted lips and the glistening of her eyes as she watched the movie, enraptured from the start. His enhanced vision allowed him to watch her in the dark, seeing the way she shifted her body weight, and the way her nose twitched like a rabbit every so often. Her hair was down, instead of the bun she'd worn the past two days, and he liked it. It was swept across her forehead and drew attention to the warm brown of her eyes. The bell rang and brought him out of his trance, the one he was driven in by the beauty of Ms. Bella Swan.

He'd never felt the kind of pull he felt to her before. Not with a vampire, and certainly not with a human. He wanted to touch her cheek and ask for her thoughts on the film. He thought of things he'd never done, things he wanted to do.

Hold her hand. Kiss her temple. Lay his coat over a puddle. Open a door for her. Wrap his arm around her to keep her warm.

Edward realized he'd been staring again, and the lights were on in the room, revealing his softened gaze for all to see. Ms. Bella Swan didn't seem to notice his appreciative eyes on her, but Mrs. Cheney did. Edward stood and glanced at her, noticing the disapproving look in her eyes. She frowned slightly, her eyes sliding over to where Ms. Bella Swan was smoothing the front of her skirt. She looked up in time to bid him farewell, her smile not as forced as he'd seen it before.

As he exited the room, he paused in the hallway, leaning against a wall, listening. Mrs. Cheney cleared her throat.

"Bella, if a student…expresses interest in you…it's your responsibility to draw a line. You must not let them think they can do or say things that are inappropriate," she explained.

"What do you mean? I don't…I'm not sure I'm following," Bella said in reply.

"Edward Cullen is showing you an unprecedented amount of attention. And I know you're only a few years older than he is, and he is very good looking, but you cannot, I repeat, cannot let anything happen while he is a student here. What you do after he graduates is up to you," Mrs. Cheney continued. Edward could hear Bella's heart rate increase.

"Oh. I'm…I'm sorry, I didn't think I was…it didn't seem like anything was going on, Angela. I'll make sure that no lines are crossed," Bella said softly. Edward walked away, contemplating skipping his final class, hoping to figure out what he felt for Ms. Bella Swan, and what he could do to make her his. He didn't want her to lose her job over it, but he was pretty sure that he wanted her.

xXx

Bella was on edge. When Edward Cullen stopped in for the sole purpose of asking about her hand, she was surprised. When he touched her, she was stunned. When she saw into his mind, and the way he defended her to his own mother, and the way he was becoming consumed by her, she was staggeringly incredulous. She didn't know what to make of his change in demeanor, or the way he softly touched her skin. Just two days prior he'd been imagining drinking her blood, and the day after that he tried to VMT her. Today he came in, wrapped up in her, watching her throughout class and smiling at her longingly, and she wanted someone to jump out and tell her she was on some sort of hidden camera show.

Was it possible that Bella Swan, the girl formerly obsessed with vampires after her mother was killed by one, moved to Forks, Washington to discover a coven of animal-hunting vampires, with one moody human-hunter that was in her English class, that was suddenly, morbidly interested in her?

How was that even in the realm of possibility, let alone a justified thought in her mind? Edward didn't know of her ability, and he didn't know she knew what he was. He couldn't compel her or trick her, so she knew what she saw inside of him was true. Could he…like her? Why was she excited by that prospect? She was supposed to be researching him so she could kill him, not crushing on him and getting butterflies in her stomach from his smiles.

Just last night she was making a wooden stake to drive into his heart, and now, today, she was driving home thinking through the implications of Angela's chastisement. Apparently she, too, thought Edward was displaying interest, going as far as to warn Bella so that she didn't do anything illegal and inappropriate with a student.

Was she being transparent? Was she interested in him like he was in her?

How could she want a vampire? She found the most horrible monster in the world, and she started lusting after him. She was angry at herself for getting in the predicament at all, and wishing for once to go back to the obsessed, vampire-hating scary girl with stringy hair and no friends so that things would be easier.

She decided to call Alec, but found that she had no way of getting his advice without spilling the entire story, which would sound like the ramblings of a crazy person. Bella wound up listening to him regale her with stories of grad school, and some of the other crazy business students he'd come across. The name Heidi came up more than once, and she began to wonder if there was more to their relationship than he's letting on. She didn't pry, wanting to give him the chance to tell her on his own terms.

Bella was restless that evening. She couldn't think of anything to eat for dinner, she couldn't find anything on television to watch, her pajamas didn't feel comfortable enough, and when she finally gave in and went to bed, her pillow was lumpy and too hot. She tossed and turned, her mind racing, trying to reconcile the bright-eyed vampire from two days ago with the soft smiling young man from earlier that day. She couldn't draw any conclusions in her agitated state, but she managed to fall asleep amidst her obsessive worrying.

She was looking forward to seeing Edward Cullen the next day, and measuring him up once more. There was more than meets the eye – possibly too much – but she was determined to find some thread of consistency. She awaited his arrival anxiously as sixth period neared. The bell rang, and Edward Cullen wasn't in his seat.

Edward Cullen didn't show at all that day, or the next. By Sunday, Bella was going out of her mind with the possible implications of his absence, and she tried to shake sense into her own brain. Monday morning found her more keyed up than before, dark circles under her eyes from her sleepless night, but Edward Cullen was absent once more. Bella tried to tamp down her disappointment, but it began to widen and deepen, engulfing her before she realized it happened.

Edward Cullen doesn't show again that week.

* * *

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	5. Chapter 5: What It Meant

**'Ello, all! So, I have to say...I kind of love this chapter. I hope you do, too. Thank you, everyone who's read and reviewed, and thanks also to my beta, anythingzombie, for being super-lightning-fast.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Song rec: "Black Water" by Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros**

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Bella stood nervously outside of the Cullen's house, working up the nerve to just knock on the fucking door already. It opened suddenly before her, revealing Carlisle dressed casually and looking at her with no surprise in his eyes at all. Bella immediately begins to second guess her decision to go and try to find out about Edward's whereabouts.

The school was informed that Edward had mono, and might be absent for weeks. Bella thought about believing that, but she knew that vampires couldn't get mono, so she immediately rejected the thought. She wanted to know where Edward really was, especially after his absence was prolonged another week.

Eighteen days had gone since she'd seen him. Twelve schooldays, and three torturous weekends, and she was driving herself mad with puzzling. She thought about casually asking Emmett or Rosalie about him, but found herself tongue-tied and nervous around them both. She almost went to the hospital to ask Carlisle about him, but didn't feel quite right about that.

Eventually, on a Monday morning, she decided she would go to the Cullen manor that afternoon under the guise of making sure he was properly receiving and completing his assignments. She scoffed internally at her own pathetic-ness, sure that Edward would see right through her. She girded her courage and marched up to their front door, a stack of papers in her hands, and stood there, unmoving until Carlisle ended her misery by opening the door himself.

"Bella! So good to see you. What brings you by this afternoon?" Carlisle didn't make a move to welcome her into the house, so Bella stood awkwardly on the stoop.

"Um, well, I know that Edward is very sick, and I worried that he wasn't able to adequately prepare for his, um, English test, so I thought I could help him study," Bella sputtered, her explanation sounding more ridiculous out loud than it did in her head.

"That's very considerate of you, but Emmett and Rose are able to help him just fine. And we wouldn't want you to get sick, of course," Carlisle said with a smile.

"I had mono when I was younger," Bella lied, "so I'm immune."

"Still…Edward has what he needs here."

"Do you have any idea when he'll be back to school?"

"Not really. We're thinking perhaps in another week or two."

"Oh." Bella felt deflated, and stupid. She should've known her weak attempt at seeing Edward Cullen would fail. And now she just looked pitiful. And probably like a pedophilic teacher.

"But we appreciate your sense of responsibility as a teacher, Bella. You'll be great once you finish school, I'm sure," Carlisle said, eyeing her once more.

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen. Um, well, I'll be going then. Tell Edward I said I hope he feels better soon," she said halfheartedly.

"I'll pass that along to him," Carlisle answered, nodding his farewell. Bella turned and walked down the steps, her shoulders slumped and her face heating with a traitorous blush. Why she was so foolish, she didn't know.

Why she let Edward's extended disappearance bother her so, she didn't know.

Why she dreamed of him each night and awoke with a renewed hope of seeing him, she didn't know.

Why she was beginning to feel strange stirrings in her stomach as her mind drifted to the sound of his voice and the cold touch of his hand, she didn't know.

She chose to ignore all of those things, hoping they'd go away.

Edward hated watching Ms. Bella Swan walk to her car feeling defeated. He wanted to bound down the stairs and take her hand, leading her down the path through the woods, talking to her and finding out more about her, but he couldn't. It was too early, too soon. He didn't know how he would handle the temptation.

Because Edward Cullen was going vegetarian.

He'd been hunting twice a day since quitting human blood cold turkey, and his cravings were ravenous, rivaling that of a newborn. He hadn't known what to expect, and as he drank thirstily from animal after animal, he reminded himself why he was doing it in the first place.

If he desired Ms. Bella Swan, he had to make himself worthy of her. He'd come to terms with the fact that he liked her – was interested in her as more than a snack or a pet – and wanted desperately to know her. The next few months would pass quickly for him, and when he was officially a high school graduate for the eleventh time, he would be able to pursue her freely. If she didn't settle in Forks, he could follow where she went. He was in the position to live anywhere and do anything, and he hoped that she would allow him to go with her.

But first, before wooing her, he had to defeat his thirst for her blood. He had to build up his resistance before he faced her again. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he slipped up and harmed her, or God forbid, killed her. No, Ms. Bella Swan, student teacher, brown-eye-holder, woman-whose-mind-was-locked-away, she deserved more than what he currently was.

So he feasted on more animals than he realized existed in the woods, trying different species to see what he liked best. He traveled hundreds of miles in stints to find mountain lions in the dozens, and ran back to Forks quickly enough to catch a glimpse of his future quarry. He watched her leave her house in the morning, and walk into the school with her tote bag weighing down her shoulder. He saw her leave the building at the end of the day, slipping into her beat-up Tercel and heading straight home. She never did anything in the evenings, except eat dinner with her father, and occasionally talk on the phone to someone named Alec.

Edward was jealous, at first, but as he eavesdropped he discovered that they were just friends, and Alec was dating someone else. Edward was able to learn a lot by perching in a tree along the perimeter of her home, listening and watching and waiting. When his thirst grew too great, he would hunt again, hoping to calm his cravings as soon as possible.

That Monday evening, after she left his home with her head hung low, he ran ahead of her slow-moving vehicle. He arrived before she did and found his favorite spot – the one that granted him a perfect view into her room. He couldn't say that he hadn't watched her closely as she changed clothes after her shower. He couldn't say he didn't occasionally have to take matters into his own hands when he watched her. He couldn't say that he was a gentleman, but he wanted more than her body, though luscious, it was. He was intrigued by her bravery and encouraged by her apparent interest in him, as well.

He knew that she had no logical reason to come to his house to see him. He could only hope that she missed him as he did her, and that when he returned, a better man – a better vampire – that she would be willing to give him a chance.

He saw his family less and less as his obsession with Ms. Bella Swan grew. They all prompted him to make a go at it, but he was certain it was only because he'd found a reason to stop drinking human blood, something they'd all been pushing on him for a while. He would miss his strength, and his ability to compel – though Ms. Swan wasn't susceptible anyway – but he felt the trade was more than even.

Bella was alone in her home, pacing furiously back and forth in her room. Edward could tell that she was muttering to herself, almost whispering, and he strained to hear what had her in such a tizzy.

Sixty seconds later, he wished he hadn't listened. He wished she hadn't spoken at all. For he heard Ms. Bella Swan say the word he thought might never have to fall from her lips – vampire.

Bella worked herself into a frenzy before taking a Valium and sitting on the edge of her bed, waiting for it to kick in. She was embarrassed over her irrational attraction to the vampire, Edward Cullen, and she wished she could kick her own ass for going over to his home and pestering his father.

"What could a vampire possibly be doing for three weeks straight?" Bella asked her questions aloud to no one in particular, her white walls never responding. "Is he coming back? What if he's gone forever? What if he's on a killing spree? Could I really…what would I do if…could I care for someone…something who…can a human even like a vampire, really?"

Bella continued to think out loud, Edward Cullen's face plaguing her thoughts with alternating pictures of his frustrated expression and the soft look he bestowed upon her after viewing Romeo & Juliet. She recognized the adoration in the look, and she wondered if she could ever look at him that way.

Or was she too late? Did she already care for him far more deeply than she should – far more deeply than was safe? Had she already signed her own death warrant?

"Does he like me, or does he just want to kill me? If he does come back, what will I do? What will I say? Do I confront him, or let him be? Is it too late to choose?"

Bella flopped backwards onto her bed, shutting her eyes and trying to will the questions to stop. Her brain ached, but her limbs grew lethargic as the pill began to take effect. She scooted around so that she was laying the right way, her head on her pillow, but a sound at her window startled her. She blinked blearily, hearing and feeling a rush of fresh air, but the sight at her windowsill made her heart stop.

Edward Cullen, in his angry glory, hair dripping wet, jaw clenched and body taut, was standing there, watching her. Seeing through her. Bella felt fear but relief at seeing him finally, noting the difference in his eyes immediately – no longer did they glow apple green at her, but they had warmed to a soft emerald, a human shade that comforted her.

Her chest was heaving as she gulped in air, her adrenaline still pumping from being frightened, and she awaited his words anxiously. She didn't know why he was there, but she knew it probably wouldn't bode well for her.

Edward clearly hadn't thought through his extravagant maneuver through Ms. Bella Swan's window, but he was already there, and she was staring at him expectantly. She was surprised by his appearance, yet not, and after listening to the conversation she had with herself, Edward now knew why.

She knew what he was. He was gripped with emotion at this knowledge, though he couldn't quite place what it was he was feeling exactly.

Anger, maybe. Irritation, somewhat. A tinge of fear, yes. Curiosity. Disappointment. Yes, yes. Those were present, but what he felt beating inside of his muscles, the one thing that made him leap to her roof and slide her window open and confront her was something else.

Betrayal. Something he hadn't felt in a long time, if ever. Something he was unfamiliar with, but as soon as his quick mind gave a name to it, his dead heart beat metaphorically to it. Be-trayal. Be-trayal.

He wanted to scare her, to make her fear her own knowledge, but all he could muster was an anguished, "How?"

Ms. Bella Swan watched him closely, her motions slow and cat-like as she stood, rounding her bed and coming to stand nearer to him. He heard her quickened heartbeat, but he could see no trepidation in her eyes.

"Edward," she began.

"Did you ever…did you like me at all? Or was I just something you could…could watch and experiment with? Was it all just a ruse to kill me? Were you trying to trick me? Are you even human? Did it all mean nothing?"

Bella was clearly startled by his train of thought, and Edward himself was surprised at the mortification that crept under his skin as she realized that he was changing his life for her, and she was playing him.

"How could you do this to me? You made me – you tricked me into – how could you?" Bella shook her head forcefully.

"Edward, I didn't do anything, or make you do anything – nothing's even happened yet. Nothing's occurred!"

Edward reminded himself that the relationship he'd fantasized about having with her was just that, a fantasy, and that she had no recollection of it. He couldn't fault her for messing with the false reality he'd created.

"Where have you been?" Edward looked up to see her soft gaze on his face.

"Here. I've been here."

"What have you been doing? Why weren't you at school?"

"I've been…I wanted to only hunt animals – for you, see. I'm a damn fool. I thought that…I thought that if I made myself into something better, then perhaps I could have you. But you knew what I was all along, and you're…what? Plotting to kill me? Massacre my family? Expose us? What's your agenda, Ms. Swan?"

Edward worked some of his cold demeanor into his words, but the strange splitting ache in his chest was hard to ignore.

"I don't have an agenda, Edward, I promise. I…I wasn't looking for you – or any vampires for that matter. I…I just found you on accident and at first I wanted to…I never had a plan, actually, but then you really started to…you defended me against your mother, and you cared about my hurt hand –"

"How did you know what I said to Esme?"

Ms. Swan blushed red and looked at the floor. He tried to be patient with her, but his body was thrumming with an internal pain from standing so close to her and feeling his dreams be dashed to pieces.

"I can…I can read people's minds," she said, and Edward grew unnaturally still. His eyes widened and he thought about leaping back through the window without a word. "But I have to touch them to do it. I can't just read your mind at any time."

"Impossible."

"It's true. How else would I know about your argument with her? Or how you were thinking of drinking my blood that first afternoon in class?"

"I – I don't know. Is that…is that why you touched me?"

"Yes, I had to know. I can…I can get a read off of objects, and I found your essay and got the sense that you were…a blood drinker. I had to know, so I touched you, and you confirmed it. I didn't know what to do with that information, and then I met your brother and sister, and your father, and I got the same thing from them all – animals. And you tried to VMT me but I resisted, and then I was afraid you would come after me because I was immune, so I…I tried to make a wooden stake, which is when I cut my fucking hand open and had to get stitches.

"And then, there you were the next day, concerned and touching me, showing me that you…that you cared for me, watching me during class and smiling, and I…I was consumed by you and then you disappeared. So – so you've been hunting animals?"

If Edward were human, he wouldn't have been able to follow Bella's nonsensical speech, but his vampire mind pieced it all together. She was admitting something to him. But he still couldn't trust her.

She approached him cautiously, keeping her eyes locked on his as she reached her hand out to grasp his closed fist firmly. The light from outside was dimming, her room turning to dusk and darkening his silhouette until she could barely make out his features.

"You're upset. Hurt. I hurt you. You're embarrassed. You're angry. You don't trust me. You wanted to change for me, and now you think it was for nothing," she told him, speaking his silent thoughts aloud for them both to hear. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to…I never meant to…betray your trust. But, truthfully, I didn't know I had it."

"What have you done to me?" Edward's face crumpled in a human way, his body feeling wrong suddenly, like it didn't fit, like it shrank in the dryer and sat uncomfortably on his being.

"I didn't do anything."

"Yes, you did. You've ruined me. I've never felt so human. Three weeks ago I was an asshole knocking back shots of AB-positive and walking through life with ease, and now, look at me – I'm crying over a broken heart in the bedroom of a girl one-fifth of my age! You did this," Edward lamented.

"You're Irish. And you're…over a hundred years old?"

"Correct on both counts. I'm also the most pathetic vampire in existence," Edward said, his anger and betrayal turning inward as he realized the lovesick error of his way. "What I don't understand is how you knew what to look for at all? Even with your…power…how did you know that vampires existed at all?"

"My mother was murdered by one six years ago," Ms. Bella Swan said with suppressed emotion. "I touched her dead body and saw the last moments of her life, and a vampire ripped her throat out and put her in the middle of our street. I wasted the next three years of my life studying everything vampire-related, barely eating and sleeping, interacting with no one, buying iron and silver and crosses and getting this" she pointed at her back "all to no avail. I finally gave it up and tried to be normal, and then I move to Forks and find a vampire right under my nose. I didn't mean to ruin you, but you ruined me, too."

Ms. Bella Swan's temper flared, but Edward had a feeling it wasn't exactly because of him, or his presence in Forks. Bella had years of frustration and loneliness pent up, he knew, and she was probably battling with the same thing he was.

The loss of control. The feeling of falling. Standing on the precipice and not being able to keep the wind from pushing her over.

He could empathize because he, too, was changing against his will, being thrust into something he didn't exactly think was possible, something he'd given up on.

Bella didn't want vampires anymore, but she got one.

Edward didn't believe in love, but he found it.

It was this thought, passing through their still connected hands, that brought Ms. Swan's attention back to the present. Her eyes snapped back to his as she overheard his true feelings for her, unable to make sense of it. Edward realized his mistake but was unable to cover for it. He couldn't hide his thoughts from her, and he didn't want to. He'd already gotten too deep – he couldn't tell the bottom from the top, and everything was murky and dark. He would just have to wait there and see if Ms. Swan joined him.

"Bella. Call me Bella," she whispered to him.

Bella, he thought for the first time, unaccompanied by her surname or title. He liked it. Bella. His Bella, his human, the one who gutted him unintentionally, that changed him in a matter of days by doing absolutely nothing but touching his wrist and resisting his compelling ability. His Bella. Edward had never known such softness, such velvet inside of himself until he met her. Until she captured him. He tried hard not to get lost in the moment, feeling her warm hand on his, seeing her beautiful face before his, locked in the darkness of her room, together, alone.

There was still much to consider. Firstly, she had issues with vampires. Secondly, she probably didn't feel for him what he felt for her. Thirdly, she was his teacher, technically, and he was perpetually eighteen. Fourthly, he was still in the weaning process of changing over to animal blood, and he didn't want to put her in a dangerous situation. Fifthly, he had to know what else was on her back.

Bella chuckled at his fifth point as he mentally ran through his list, dropping his hand and turning away from him. She grabbed the neck of her shirt and tugged until her back was exposed to him. His fingers gently traced the large crucifix, which caused three things to occur at once. Bella heard his awe from his fingertips, she realized that the cross had no effect on him at all, and she also felt a quiver in her low abdomen at the feel of his cold hands on the sensitive, bare skin of her back. It was almost too much.

Edward looked around the room, taking in all of the things he hadn't seen before. Crucifixes were everywhere, made of iron and silver, both, and he was certain that at least one of her vases held garlic in it. Everything clicked in his mind, and as he thought back to the picture of her from the yearbook, he could guess what was in the vial around her neck.

"You're right, it was holy water. How did you…so you saw me?"

"Yes. I heard…Jessica Stanley saw a few things about you, stuff she'd heard from her older sister, and I looked you up in old yearbooks. I guess I know why you wore gloves all of the time, as well," he said softly, hoping she'd turn back around and face him. He'd seen the tattoos on her back long enough. She heard his mental plea and she turned, lowering her shirt as she went, and looked at him with something akin to disappointment.

"I'm sorry you had to…care about a psychotic human. You really got the short end of the stick," Bella told him as she looked at their feet.

"On the contrary, I managed to get rewarded one-hundred fold for the few good things I've done. You're…you're the best of them, Bella. I've see a lot of humans, and you, by far, are the best."

She wanted to scoff, but she heard the sincerity underneath his voice as he traced the apple of her cheek. The Valium that was kicking in half an hour before was now threatening to knock her over.

"You'll sleep on your feet, like a horse, if you're not careful," Edward said quietly, his voice wrapping around her like the embrace he was afraid to give her. Bella saw what he wished he could do, but also heard his own fear over getting too close, so she left it alone. There was too much to think through, too much to consider. There were so many things they would have to discuss. Bella walked slowly to her bed and lay down mechanically. "I'll sit here, if you like."

Edward motioned towards the rocking chair in the corner, and Bella nodded. She wanted him to stay close, for now. Possibly for longer, but she couldn't consider that yet. Her eyes fluttered shut as her surreal evening slipped into her subconscious.

Edward watched as Bella's eyes began to move rapidly behind her lids, and he rose silently to find an animal in the woods behind her house. If he were going to stay in her room for any longer, he would need to quench his thirst. He tracked two deer, one a rather large buck, and took them down quickly. When he returned, he sensed a second heartbeat in Bella's room, and his paranoia doubled. He hung from her windowsill for a second before stealthily peering over the edge. He was relieved to see it was only her father peeking in through the door at his daughter's sleeping form. Charlie closed the door and Edward heard him walk down the hallway, and another door shut.

Edward climbed in the open window and sat in his chair once more. He was on edge from the events of the evening, unable to see the good that progressed. He mumbled heavily to himself as he watched her roll from one side of the bed to the other, her brown hair fanning out across her pillow and her lips trembling.

"Fuckin' gobshite," his Irish tongue prominent in his frustration. "Why'd I jump in her window?"

His mind raced and showed him all the ways that their relationship was now furthered, but his newly-found emotions were still too jumbled to allow him a respite. He knew her secret, and he knew she knew his. She knew how he felt about her. She listened in to his private thoughts and feelings. He was totally exposed to the most dangerous creature he'd come across.

But she hadn't told him to leave. She hadn't run from him, or screamed, or try to stake him. She trusted him enough to allow him to stay in her room as she slept, unprotected. She admitted that she was consumed by him. Perhaps she could truly care for him, but he felt oddly off-kilter knowing that he loved her.

Love. The most foreign thing of all to him. The thing he'd witnessed all over the world, in every language and country, in every manner of relationships. The thing he'd never had for himself, or even wanted, yet here he was, a bloody fool of a vampire, sitting in a Goddamn rocking chair and watching a fucking human sleep. What happened to the Edward Cullen he used to be? The one who didn't give a shit, the one who killed mercilessly? The one who fucked when he wanted, with whomever he wanted?

Though, he never had a human. He limited his fucking to vampires, knowing they were strong enough to take what he was giving. Ms. Bella Swan, his Bella, could be his first, if they ever got to that point. If she woke up and still liked him. If she didn't order him away. If he didn't fall to pieces like a pansy ass first.

Morning light poured through Bella's window as her alarm went off. She rolled over and hastily slapped at the machine, her head heavy and clouded. She turned over to lie on her back, her arms spread like wings to her sides, and her mind began to clear. She remembered Edward appearing in her room, confessing that he loved her, broken and wanting, willing to change everything to have her. She hurt him unintentionally, just by being what she'd become. She didn't want to harm him, the Edward she'd come to know, but he was still a vampire. He was still a monster, even if he denied his nature.

He was also still in her room, sitting a mere six feet away as she thought through the mess she was in. Her eyes snapped to the rocking chair and saw his pale form sitting stoically. His fingers were forming a steeple in front of his mouth, his emerald eyes watching her carefully, one leg crossed over the other. His hair looked wild and windblown. His expression was blank. He was waiting for her to speak the words that would either bloom into a relationship or put a nail in the coffin once and for all.

"You stayed," she said softly. She was surprised by how ecstatic she was to see him sitting there. Her emotions weren't following the thoughts of her mind, as she was just thinking of the impossibility of them ever being anything. She thought it, but her heart, her body, wanted him closer than he was.

The tightness around his eyes lessened as amazement settled in. She seemed…happy that he was there. He dropped his hands and stood, walking towards her slowly so she had time to tell him to stop – but she didn't. He reached the side of her bed, her eyes on him, and hesitantly, oh so lightly, touched the tips of her hair. It was soft, too soft; he wanted to bury his face into it and nuzzle until her smell was cemented onto his skin. He wanted his lips on her porcelain skin, kissing and tasting in the most erotic way. He wanted her body on his.

He wanted to not be a vampire, in that moment. He wanted nothing more than to be a mere human so he could enjoy her like he wanted, like she deserved.

She slyly raised her hand to touch his outstretched fingers, seeing the desire and despair warring inside of him. A tear prickled at the corner of her eye, whether from the sudden sentiment she found or because she'd just woken up, she didn't know. He wanted, she wanted. They were stuck in ambiguity. Which way they would go, neither knew. They were balanced on the edge of a knife blade, on the top of a fence, one leg on either side. They had to make a move before the height crushed them.

Edward took a shuddering breath as his finger traced the small track of her tear. The smallest hint of moisture settled on his fingertip and he tasted it without reservation. It was one of the most human things he could think of – real tears, formed in tear ducts, trailing down one's cheek. Giving the world a portrait of their pain or joy, showing unabashedly the humanness they possessed. Oh, but did he want in that moment.

The two stayed like that for a few unending seconds, Edward's left hand at his mouth, his right hand in her hair, her tiny hand wrapped around one of his fingers. Bella gazed up at him, marveling in the beauty of his mind, the pure cotton of his thoughts towards her – soft and comforting.

"Why don't you bunk off work today?"

Bella looked at him quizzically.

"Call out. You seem sick to me," he explained. She nodded slowly.

"Yes, I don't quite feel like myself…and I am allowed a few sick days," she told him. He smiled, but before he could speak he was gone from before her eyes. The soft slam of her closet door alerted her to where he went, but she was too shocked to understand what happened. Her bedroom door creaked open, revealing her father sheepishly looking in.

"Bells? I thought I heard you talking," he told her. Bella shook her head to clear it before speaking.

"Yeah, I was on the phone. I'm…my head is pounding, and I don't feel well. I went to bed early last night, hoping I'd feel better this morning, but…I don't, so I called out of work," she told him, hoping her face didn't give away her lie.

Charlie nodded and stepped into her room, placing the back of his hand against her forehead and cheek, seemingly checking her temperature.

But Bella knew he was offering her his thoughts. It was easier for him that way, sometimes, instead of struggling to say them out loud. She heard his 'I love you' and nodded, her preferred method of reciprocating.

"You do feel feverish. Do you want me to stay home with you?"

"No, that's okay, Dad. I'm just going to rest," she answered. Charlie nodded and wished her well, stepping back through her door and pulling it shut. Edward was before her again, instantly, and she startled once more. "You scared the shit out of me!"

He laughed quietly at her hiss, and sat gingerly on the edge of her bed, careful to not get too close. She hadn't seen him laugh before, and she loved it. His entire face looked impossibly boyish when he laughed.

"I thought you might could come to my house, meet my family properly," he explained. Her eyes widened. "And it's safer for us to not be alone. I'm still…I'm a work in progress."

"I understand. Thank you, Edward," she said, hoping to convey the words she wasn't ready to say yet.

Thanks for noticing her, caring for her, loving her. Thanks for changing for her, for giving her someone she could be totally honest with. Thanks for not killing her. Thanks for staying with her.

She didn't know when her horror story turned into a romance, but she surely felt more than platonically for the boy/man/vampire sitting in front of her. She wanted to know him – not the vampire, not just for information about his species, but him, personally. She wanted Edward Cullen, and she was going to follow her gut on this one.

She could have him.

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**Hit me up on Twitter (at) ginginleelee - let me know you're a reader!**

**Next chapter up in a few days, I promise. :)**


	6. Chapter 6: Would It Work

**This chapters a wee bit shorter, but you'll still get a lot out of it. It's time to really meet the fam...dun dun dun.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Thanks to anythingzombie for beta'ing this little thing so quickly.**

**Song rec: The National - "Terrible Love"**

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Bella was incredibly nervous as Edward led her up the front steps of his home. His hand was holding hers, though outstretched so he wasn't too close to her, and his thoughts were serene. Bella couldn't figure out why Edward wasn't freaking like she was, but she tried to latch onto his calm and let it soothe her.

For the second time in as many days, Carlisle opened the door as she approached, his eyes much less gentle than they were less than twenty-four hours ago. Carlisle flickered his gaze between their faces and their entwined fingers, clearly at a loss as to how to play this.

"Edward, you shouldn't be out while you're sick," he stated severely, apparently trying to play the father role, though it was painfully obvious that there had to be a lot going on for Edward to be hand-in-hand with his teacher. Bella flushed as she imagined what Carlisle thought of her – a twenty-two year old woman, almost a college graduate and a teacher, fraternizing romantically with a student.

Edward shook his head and smiled. "The jig is up, my friend."

He pulled Bella into the house, past a befuddled Carlisle, and introduced her to Esme, who stood just inside the foyer. "Esme, this is Ms. Bella Swan, my teacher."

He grinned cheekily at the word 'teacher' and Bella shot him a warning glare. His thoughts were a slide show of the many ways he would like to explore the word with her, and Bella had to pull her hand away so as not to get any more embarrassed. He frowned momentarily at their loss of contact, but quickly realized what she'd inadvertently seen from his mind. He smiled apologetically at her as she stepped forward to shake Esme's hand.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you," Bella said sweetly. Esme looked confused and a little angry, but she smiled at her visitor.

"Likewise," she stated.

"So what to what do we owe the honor of your visit? Shouldn't Bella be at school?"

"She took a sick day. She had an exhausting night," Edward began, causing Carlisle to cough unexpectedly at Edward's words. He immediately realized what he was accidentally implying and quickly amended it. "Because we had a talk, a very important discussion, you see. Nothing of the…no other nocturnal activities were…had."

Edward cleared his throat and fidgeted, looking more human than his family had seen before, but Bella was smiling widely. She rather enjoyed his moment of discomfort, and chose to help him out.

"What he means to say is that last night, Edward discovered that I knew he is a vampire. Well, that you all are vampires," she told them confidently. The utter stillness of Carlisle and Esme was in direct contrast to the flight of Jasper, with Alice under his arm, as they appeared at the bottom of the stairs. Bella jumped, somewhat startled, and Edward steadied her with a hand on the small of her back. He started to pull away, but upon discovering how much he liked that stance, only stepped closer to her, showing a united front.

"You told her?" Jasper's navy eyes were wide as he stared at his 'brother'.

"No, she already knew. She's known all along."

"That's not possible, Edward. What did you do to alert her? Is there something you would like to tell us?" Edward opened his mouth to defend himself, but Bella beat him to the punch.

"Edward did nothing except exist! I already knew about vampires, and when I touched his essay for class, I knew. The same goes for Emmett and Rosalie, so if you want to be upset, you'll have to include them, as well," she said as she lifted her chin defiantly. Edward was amazed to watch this little human face down four vampires without a second thought. His hand slid up her back and to the nape of her neck, skin to skin, so she could feel the pride he had in her. She leaned into the weight of his body as she heard him.

"What do you mean you touched his essay and knew?"

"Bella has a…gift. She can read minds," Edward started to explain, witnessing the taken aback expressions on his family members' faces as they feared what she knew. "She can read minds by touching the person, but she can also touch objects and get a read off of them. My essay, obviously, carried my energy, so to speak. By the way, you never told me what you saw that had you so convinced."

Bella looked up at Edward's curious face and debated what to tell him.

"I saw…um, bags of blood," she said quietly and Edward nodded. His hand stayed on her neck, assuring her that he wasn't upset for telling him. He also renewed his desire to never feed that way again.

"So she can just touch something and what…know my thoughts if I touched it before?" Esme looked incredulous.

"Not necessarily thoughts, but maybe feelings or your energy at the time, sometimes images," Bella explained. Esme pointed at a book resting on the end table for her to pick up. Bella grabbed the book and sat it back down quickly.

"Well?"

"The book makes you cry, and you also had sex with Carlisle just before reading it last," Bella said nonchalantly. Jasper, Edward and Carlisle all chuckled while Esme started to sputter.

"And when I got my hand stitched at the hospital, I saw flashes of you, Esme, and you two, as well," Bella said as she turned to Jasper and Alice. "So you must be Jasper and Alice, right?"

"Oh, sorry, I forgot to introduce you," Edward said hurriedly. Jasper stepped forward, pulling Alice along and shook Bella's hand. Bella started to turn to Alice but Edward's hand on her neck told her not to. He showed her briefly that Alice never spoke and rarely made extra movements willingly. She saw in his mind that Jasper had VMT'd her too many times before he turned her, leaving her forever stuck in a state of mental incompetency. She looked at Jasper through new eyes, unsure if she should fear him, but the touch of his hand to hers had only relayed that he was genuinely happy to meet her, and that he thought she had a kind smile.

Jasper looked at Edward desperately. "Do you think she could…."

They both looked at Alice as she stared blank-faced at nothing. Edward asked Bella both audibly and through his mind if she would be willing to touch Alice, and see if there was anything she could share. Bella saw the plea in Jasper's eyes and nodded, Edward's hand dropping from her skin reluctantly.

"She won't, um –"

"No, she doesn't even hunt on her own," Edward said quickly, dispelling any fear Bella may have had.

She took one more step and placed her hand lightly on Alice's forearm, her mind filled with senses and feelings, but no words. She waited as she watched the same few images recycle through Alice's mind, just in case something new came along, but she didn't see anything else.

"Wow," Bella said softly, not removing her hand from Alice's skin. "Her mind is soothing."

"What did you hear?"

"Well, there are no words, but pictures, and…and colors, kind of like emotions, but more like…energies. She keeps imagining you, Jasper. Like snapshots or home videos edited into a reel. You were laughing or talking, sometimes kissing her. She knows you love her. I can tell. She loves you, as well."

"How could she though? I…I destroyed her," Jasper said in a quiet, fearful tone.

"I don't know…perhaps through everything, she was still…she knows you love her. Her mind is happy, yellow, light. You're all she sees," Bella confirmed.

"Was there anything else?" Edward asked, leaning forward near the triangle the others formed.

"Speak again," she ordered.

"What? Me?" Edward wasn't sure what she meant.

"Actually, Carlisle, Esme, can you two say something to Alice?"

They both spoke hesitantly, feeling uncomfortable in front of this stranger, but still expressing their love for their other daughter.

"She recognizes your voices. She doesn't…she can't see you, I don't think. She only pictures Jasper, but I can tell…it's like you're each a different color, maybe. Blue and white and tan," Bella said, amazed by the simple intricacies she found in the vampire's mind.

"So she does know us," Edward said absentmindedly. It was a question he'd pondered before. He never knew if Alice even realized she was being cared for, or that she was loved at all. He had always hoped she did, so knowing for sure gave him a warm feeling in his bones. He knew Jasper was tormented with what he'd done, with what his selfish desire had done to the woman he loved. Edward was thankful that Jasper would have some relief.

Bella finally broke her connection, but she felt a string between she and Alice as she moved away. A line that wouldn't be broken, something only she could access. She would love to visit Alice's mind more often.

"Well, as thrilling as this all has been so far, there's still some explaining to do," Esme started. "So what? She knew you were a vampire? So you…you're in a relationship now? With a human that happens to know about us? Who's your teacher?"

"She's not just a human or my teacher, she's my Bella," Edward said agitatedly, immediately putting forth what she meant to him. "She…she likes me, too. And I'm going to work on my control and wait until I graduate, and then we can be together."

Edward gently grabbed her hand to ask her 'Right?' where no one else could hear. Bella smiled encouragingly at him and nodded slightly. He relaxed so he could continue speaking.

"And her mother was murdered by a vampire several years ago, and we're the first ones she's come across since then. So, as you can understand, she's a little leery of us, still," Edward said, throwing Esme a warning glance. Just a couple of weeks ago she was pushing him to meet a nice girl, blah blah blah, but then when he does, and brings her home, she attacks.

"Oh, Bella," Carlisle said sympathetically, patting her shoulder as he thought of how horrible that must've been for her to lose her mother like that. "Was this in Phoenix?"

Bella nodded, and she could hear Edward thinking through any vampires he knew of in the Southwest. He felt a pang of thirst and winced. "I should hunt."

He seemed ashamed of this fact, but Bella squeezed his hand in what was meant to be a comforting gesture. "Go ahead."

"Will you stay here? Wait for me to get back? I won't be gone long," Edward pled.

"Sure, if that's okay with everyone," Bella said, glancing quickly at a scowling Esme.

"Esme and I will go with Edward. You can stay with Jasper and Alice, Bella. You're always welcome here," Carlisle informed her, ignoring his wife's pointed looks. The trio left quickly and Bella joined Alice and Jasper on the large couch in their living room. Jasper was going to read aloud to Alice, like he did every day, and asked Bella if she minded.

"Not at all," she told him, holding Alice's hand in hers and leaning her head back. She closed her eyes and let the combination of Jasper's smooth voice and Alice's clear mind to relax her to the point of meditation. Jasper read from a novel set in the Victorian era, and Alice's mind conjured rhythms of color that wove perfectly with his words, creating a large tapestry that filtered into Bella's brain. Her whole body relaxed, sinking further into the couch.

A clatter woke her abruptly, and she looked over in time to see Rosalie and Emmett slow their too-fast-for-human-eye movements and stare at her.

"Hello," Bella said quietly. The pair took in the sight of Ms. Swan sitting on their couch, holding Alice's hand, and didn't know what to make of it.

"You weren't at school," Rose pointed out.

"No, I called out sick."

"So…you came here because you were sick? Where's Carlisle?"

"Hunting."

Emmett's eyeballs nearly fell out of his skull. "Hunting."

"Yes. He and Edward and Esme. Hunting. Animals. You know. To drink their blood."

Rosalie opened and closed her mouth several times, looking a bit like a blonde-haired fish. Jasper didn't say a word, but watched the exchange with delight.

"I don't…how did…what the hell happened here today?"

"Oh, nothing…just hanging out with a telepathic, vampire-obsessed human that Edward has fallen in love with…just another day," Jasper retorted as he lazily flipped through the pages of his book, trying to suppress a smile.

"Love?" Rose looked flummoxed.

"Vampire-obsessed?" Emmett was impressed.

"Telepathic?" Both stared at her appraisingly.

"Only through touch. Don't worry, your minds are safe from me," Bella said with a wink, furthering to astound the vampire couple standing before her.

"So you and Edward are together now?"

"Well, not exactly. We've got some issues to work through…namely the fact that I'm his teacher, he still craves human blood and I intrinsically hate vampires…but we're going to work on it."

Emmett laughed and threw his arm around Rose. "I like this one."

"I think I might, too," Rose commented. "Now, you know, Edward is over a century old, so it's not like you'd be robbing the cradle or anything to pursue him."

"No, but it wouldn't look good for my career if I was boinking a student."

"You two are…boinking?" Emmett's eyebrows rose halfway up his forehead.

"Of course not! We've barely just met," Edward said in his Irish dialect as he suddenly appeared out of thin air. "She's yanking your chain, Emmett."

Edward leapt through the air to land with a resounding thump on the couch next to Bella. He tentatively took her hand in his, worried that she wouldn't want to touch him, knowing what he'd just done. Bella kissed his shoulder, through his shirt, letting him know that she accepted him.

She didn't know when she'd decided to accept him as a vampire, and also as her pseudo-boyfriend, but there was no backing out at that point. She was all in.

"So, to bring you two up to speed, Miss Bella here knew Edward, and you two, were vampires after touching your homework, because she can telepathically read people from their belongings, and Eddie-boy discovered this last night, and then professed his love to her. Oh, and Bella's mother was, unfortunately, murdered by a vampire, and that is how Bella knew about us existing at all. And these two won't be going public until the summer. And Esme doesn't like her," Jasper relayed.

"Jasper!" Esme looked angry at the door to the kitchen.

"What? It's painfully obvious," he replied. "And she said that Alice knows that I love her. And she loves me, too." Jasper turned to run his hand down Alice's cheek as she sat like a statue beside of him. Rose looked happily down at the couple, and smiled gratefully at Bella, nodding her approval.

"Cool. Another little sis, I like it," Emmett said before darting up the staircase. Rose rolled her eyes before following her partner upstairs. Esme still stood uncomfortably in the doorway, but Edward paid her no mind. His eyes were focused on the beautiful woman sitting next to him, holding his hand, and offering him companionship.

"Edward, I've never seen you act so gentlemanly. Or be so…happy," Jasper stated, watching the vampire he'd known for four decades closely, amazed at the change that had transpired over the past three weeks, but mostly, overnight.

"I've never had cause to be a gentleman, or to be happy," Edward stated, still not looking away from Bella. "It'll be hard to pretend at school, don't you think?"

"Probably. But we've only got a few months to go. We can make it."

"So, Bella, considering your mother was killed by one of our kind, you seem awfully at ease with us. What exactly were you planning to do once you realized we were here?" Esme sat down on the velvet settee opposite the couch, her brown eyes looking especially cold as she gazed at her.

"I never said I was at ease with you all. I'm at ease with Edward, and I know he wouldn't put me in a dangerous situation. I trust him, and he clearly trusts all of you," Bella offered.

"But he did put you in a dangerous situation. He came to your room, alone, in a small, enclosed space, where anything could've happened. Did you not find that dangerous?"

"He was careful," Bella argued.

"But we all make mistakes. The rest of us – save for Carlisle – took years, nearly a decade, to quit human blood for good. Edward has gone a mere twenty days. Do you honestly trust his control already?"

"Esme," Edward admonished.

"What? I'm serious, and I'm trying to help the girl out. You're both being idealistic and stupid. The chances of this…thing…between the two of you working out are extremely slim. Most likely you'll kill her yourself," Esme stated with a smug smirk.

"Esme, enough," Carlisle reprimanded from behind her.

"It's unnatural. A vampire and a human, mating…it's not right."

Jasper looked suddenly offended and pulled Alice tighter to his side.

"We should just move on now, leave the girl here. She'd be better off without us, and honestly, I don't know that we can trust her."

"She's not just a girl, she is my partner! I've chosen her, she is mine! I wouldn't – I couldn't hurt her like that! I won't. There's no way. I would sooner die myself than let a hair on her head be harmed," Edward shouted, jumping to his feet.

"You may feel that way now, darling," Esme spoke condescendingly, "but you can't always control yourself. You'll slip up, take a bite, or she'll cut herself and you won't be able to resist…and even if you do resist, in a few more years time, she'll look significantly older than you. Thirty years from now, will you still want her? When she looks like your grandmother? Would you want her then?"

Edward wanted to tear the leg from the coffee table and ram it into Esme's stomach, or perhaps just tackle her through the front window, but he wouldn't feel right about it. Even through his rage, and knowing she's indestructible, he couldn't be violent towards her, no matter how much he wanted to be. His entire body vibrated with anger, lined with worry, and he wanted nothing more than to rip her limb from limb. He knew Carlisle would never stand for it, however, and he restrained himself.

But, in a blur, even to his own eyes, Rosalie appeared from upstairs, her feminine hand wrapped around Esme's neck and pushing her into the wall, cracking the plaster. Rose wouldn't allow Esme to railroad Edward like that, not when he was finally happy, not when he had found someone to love.

"Enough, Esme," Rose said in a bone-chilling voice, echoing Carlisle's earlier words. Bella was stunned, and more than a little afraid. She saw that Carlisle was making no move to extract Rose from his wife, while Jasper held Alice protectively to him. Emmett was at the foot of the stairs, watching the situation with a grave expression. Edward was tensed in front of her, and she wasn't sure what he was thinking.

Rose pressed into Esme one last time as a sconce fell from its nail. Esme burst through the front door immediately, and Carlisle followed after her, but not before saying a quick apology to Bella.

Bella reached forward for Edward's hand, needing something, anything, to help her calm down in that moment. She saw the fiery haze of his own anger but she also could hear his consoling thoughts, thoughts that told her he'd always want her and never hurt her. He promised – he swore.

Edward turned and saw the terrified look on Bella's face and couldn't resist holding her, if for but a moment. He felt in control of his thirst, having just hunted, but he didn't want to push his luck. He tucked her head under his chin and murmured to her. "You're frightened. I'm sorry, Bella. I won't leave you. I – I love you." He hadn't yet said the words to her out loud, and Bella sniffled at his profession, gripping his shirt in her little fists and holding him as closely as she dared. "We should get you home."

Bella agreed, and pulled away, wiping her eyes as she did so. She looked at Rose and smiled. "Thank you, Rosalie."

"Of course, Ms. Swan."

"Call me Bella, please," she told her with a laugh. She said goodbye to the rest of the family and walked towards the door, Edward at her side and holding her hand. He was feeling regretful, and a tad despondent over what had happened, and he wasn't sure what to do to make it better.

"You've already made it better, honey," Bella told him. He brightened considerably at the endearment she used for him. "Oh, you like it when I call you honey? What about dear? Or baby?"

"I like baby. Honey is rather nice, though."

The two climbed into her little car and drove towards her home. She saw her father's police cruiser in the driveway and swore. "Shit! What am I going to tell him? I was supposed to be sick."

"Just tell him you were feeling a little better and wanted some fresh air," Edward suggested as they parked.

"Are you going home?"

"Not if you don't want me to. I can go up and wait for you in your room, if you like," he offered.

"Thank you. Thank you for introducing me to your family," Bella said softly.

"Thank you for coming with me. And for not running away. And for giving me a chance at all. I want to…you'll love me, one day. Like I love you."

She searched his emerald eyes and knew that it was true. She felt like she was at the top of a steep water slide, lying down and scooting forward, with her legs starting to bend. Her body would follow only seconds later, and then she would plummet quickly before she realized she'd gone over the edge. He was waiting for her at the bottom. She knew it would be soon.

"You love me," she whispered. "And you're a vampire."

"I'm Edward. And I love Bella."

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**Follow me on Twitter (at) ginginleelee**

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	7. Chapter 7: How It Was

**What's up, peeps? Here's what you've all been waiting for and wondering about - Edward's back story. I hope it lives up to your expectations. :)**

**Big thanks to my beta, anythingzombie, who writes fairly hilarious comments on my chapters.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Song rec: (I'm taking you back with this one) Coldplay - "Everything's Not Lost"**

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"We should probably…talk about…everything," Bella said hesitantly, tugging at the bottom of her oversized t-shirt. She ate dinner with Charlie before claiming to need some more rest. She got to her room and grabbed some pajamas, casting a quick glance at the vampire in her rocking chair, and hastily changed. She returned to find Edward in the exact same spot, and Bella sat on the edge of her bed, watching him closely.

"Where should we start?"

"The beginning. When were you…born? Turned? When'd you come to Forks? What have you done and seen over all those years? Why are you…how long are you staying…why do you love me?"

Bella kept her eyes on her fidgeting fingers as she spit out the various questions that had been swimming and tangling in her mind for hours.

"You want me to start at the beginning?"

"Yes," she said, though her last question was the one burning on her tongue. She would wait.

"I was born in 1901, in Boston. My parents were Irish immigrants, fresh off the boat, and poor as dirt. We stayed there for a number of years before finally moving down to New York. The first war was starting, and America was trying to stay out of it. It was a hard time, especially for immigrants; my father could barely get work down at the shipyards – the bosses usually picked their own, first. He was gone most of the time…he'd leave before dawn and come home well after dark. We rarely had enough food to eat. My mother would add water to milk to make it last. We had toast, beans, and meat on occasion, but it wasn't enough. I was just old enough to start getting work, and some days I've come home with a piece or two, and it helped, a little.

"But then my father got hurt. His arm was torn up and he couldn't do dock work anymore, or any labor. I tried to take his place, but I was undernourished, and barely fifteen. I was a hard worker but I wasn't strong. I was rarely picked for any good jobs, and our family slowly began to…die. I made the decision to run away because I thought it would be easier on my mother to not have to take care of me. I left all the money I had with them, and I took off. I headed south and eventually made it to Philadelphia. I was able to get odd jobs here and there, and a meal from a stranger on occasion. I wanted to send my earnings back home, but I was starting to waste away, as well. I ended up catching a ride with some men and found my way to Chicago. It's hard to remember now, their names or faces, but they were alright. American, but welcoming to a poor, redheaded Irish boy. I was harmless.

"When we were in Chicago, the lot of us got a flat to stay in, and one night when I was wandering outside, enjoying the Chicago summer, a man approached me. He was well clothed, mannerly, British. Refined. He took a liking to me, he said. He wanted to help me out. He took me to his home. A maid fed me the biggest dinner I had ever seen. He asked if I wanted to work for him, in exchange for shelter and food. Of course I agreed; I had nothing else. I never figured out how he could've guessed it, but he urged me to try to play his piano. I'd never played a day in my life. He showed me a book that taught me the keys, but I could barely read. He got me a tutor, and then a piano instructor. After I got pretty good, he had me play for as long as I could stand, and at the strangest times of day. It didn't matter, because I wasn't keeping a regular schedule. Everything revolved around him, his will and his whim.

"He never had any visitors. The maid didn't address him. My tutor and my piano teacher never saw him. He left money for them on the table, but never spoke to them himself. I knew that he was odd, a recluse, eccentric, but he was kind to me. He took me in when he didn't have to, provided for me. Gave me an education, however abbreviated, helped me learn a craft. I was happy, for the most part. I asked him if there was any way to send any wages to my parents, and he told me he'd take care of it. I missed being around other people, and wondering outdoors, but I didn't want to seem ungrateful.

"I wanted to fight in the war, but I didn't get to enlist. I'd barely been eighteen when the war ended, and I was losing track of time spent with him anyway. 'The war is over, my boy!' he'd said. 'We should celebrate!' He poured me a glass of brandy. I drank it, then he poured me another one. I drank and drank, until I was pissed and clumsy. I dropped my glass, and when I tried to clean it up, I pricked my finger. The next few moments are a blur, but as best I can tell, the smell of my blood was too much for him, and he was on me. He nearly bit my finger off as he tasted it, then moved along to my throat. I was losing consciousness, scared, confused…at one point I passed out. When I came to, he was standing over me, my blood dripping from his lips, and he told me that he was turning me. I didn't know what he meant but then I felt it…like a stinging in my body. Every nerve ending lit up, like I was burning from the inside out. It was short, but intensely painful. Before I knew it, I had leapt to my feet and was staring at him. My vision seemed clearer and I could hear people on the street like they were inside the house. It wasn't until I calmed down that he told me what he was, and what I had become.

"He'd picked me on the street because I was lonely. He wanted a companion, but I was too young to change. He had planned on waiting until I was nearer to twenty, but the cut on my finger proved too great for his self-control. He told me I had to feed soon after, and I didn't…I was thirsty, but too confused. I didn't know what I wanted or what he was telling me for sure. Unfortunately, as a newborn, I didn't really have control. So when the maid arrived, I attacked her before I knew what had happened. I'd never…the feeling I had when she…was just lying there, in my arms, dead…it was the most frightening moment of my life. I wanted to run away, tell him to feck^ off, but I couldn't. There were people everywhere, and I was afraid I would kill again. I wanted to kill him, but he was too powerful.

"The next several years were…bad. I can't tell you about them. Just know that under my sire's tutelage, I became a loathsome monster – I can barely recount the killings in my own brain, and I could never put that on you, Bella," Edward said, suddenly turning his formerly glazed-over eyes on her, pleadingly.

"What happened then, later? How'd you get away from him?"

"Well…somehow, through a random series of events, he was killed. Murdered by some Italian vampires that tracked him down. I wasn't with him at the time, but had I been, I would've been killed as well. At that point, it was 1940, World War II had begun overseas, and I was alone. I traveled to New York to see if I could find my parents. I knew I couldn't see them, obviously, but I had to know if they were alive. The place we'd lived before was gone, and I asked around but never tracked them down. I checked old obituaries, but at that time, people were starving and dying off so rapidly, many deaths weren't reported."

"So you never found them?"

"No. Never did. Anyway, eventually, I traveled back up to Boston, where I met Carlisle, and he and I struck up a friendship. He was already drinking only from animals, and though I'd curbed my appetite greatly, I still feasted from humans. We didn't see eye to eye, completely, for a long time. I was a nomad, traveling everywhere and anywhere, checking in with the family from time to time. He had Esme following his lifestyle, but Emmett and Rosalie did not yet. The four traveled together – a group that size was uncommon. I was in the South when I found Jasper. Alice was still human at that point, but he was fighting the realization that he loved her and couldn't let her go, or let her die. Her mental faculties were nearly depleted, anyway, so she never could've lived on her own again. He turned her, but neither of us were familiar with newborns. We sought out Carlisle, who was in Chicago by then, and we've been together ever since. That was…in the late sixties, I believe."

"Wow…so you've…lived solely off of blood banks since then?"

"Not exclusively," Edward said, and Bella's heart clenched. "From time to time, if there were a serial killer loose that police couldn't nab, sometimes I would…enact…justice."

"So you're like…a dark angel type? Killing killers?"

"I don't think 'dark angel' is necessarily what I was going for, but I do try to make a positive difference, if possible," Edward explained. Bella understood his reasoning, but the thought of him killing anyone – regardless of what they'd done – was hard to swallow. She would have to think through all of the things he'd revealed to her so far at a later time. Imagining Edward as a child, poor and starving, walking the streets of New York and Chicago was almost too heartbreaking to consider. She was even more hard-pressed to imagine what the period of his life was like when he was still with his creator.

"What was his name? Your creator?"

"Afton. Little did I know, but the year and a half I lived with him, as a human, he was sneaking out and feeding practically at our back door. I had no idea," Edward said, his eyes drifting to the window as his mind when somewhere else. He eventually looked back at Bella with a smile. "As for the other questions…well…I've been in Forks for two years, and I was planning on relocating after graduation."

"Oh," Bella said, remembering that Angela told her she may have a job offer at the high school.

"But, I would stay, if you were here. And if you went somewhere else, then I would go there," Edward explained.

"What if I went to Florida? Or Texas?"

"I'd figure something out. I'll be with you, for as long as you'll have me."

"How can you possibly love me?"

Edward's emerald eyes traversed the expanse of her face, then her hair as it fell around her shoulders, then her arms down to her wrist and her tiny hands, wrapped around her knees, which led to her dainty ankles. She seemed too exquisite to be real, but he didn't know how or why he felt that way, or when it happened. "I don't know."

Bella felt her fears confirmed in his three-word answer. There was no comprehensible reason for him to love her, and no way for him to be sure of that fact after a mere few days together. She averted her gaze and stared at the door handle, imagining turning it and fleeing this terribly uncomfortable scenario.

"I don't doubt for a moment that I do love you, Bella. I've never felt anything close to this before. Not even a single, tiny facet of this. But honestly, I don't know how or when it happened. At first I just thought you were peculiar, but then…I saw that picture of you in high school, and it wasn't pity, it was just…concern, I guess. And you cut your hand and I was genuinely worried for you. And everything about you is just so…feckin' soft and smooth and lovely. I want to touch every inch of you, and have you tell me your greatest fears, and I want to do all of those stupid, mushy things that couples do, and I want to fight and make up…but only with you, Bella. I've never found anyone, vampire or human that actually made me…feel," Edward told her, trying desperately to put into words the reaping that was taking place within him. He could feel every bit of cold, hard, bitterness dissipating like sugar in hot water as she sat with him, looked at him, talked to him – she was his antidote.

"But how…how can you love me if you don't know why? And how can I…will I ever love you when I don't even know why I'm so drawn to you? You should…I should hate you. You're a vampire, and yet…I want nothing more than to have you here, with me, in my room…even on my bed, but I know you're not ready for that yet," she said with a blush. "But I don't know, either. I can't explain or figure out what I'm feeling and I'm afraid that means it's…wrong. Or not real."

Edward was unable to say in his relegated corner, so he strode towards the bed where she perched and sat next to her. His hand curved to the shape of her face and lightly stroked her cheek – a movement he'd seen but never done. A motion he believed his hand was incapable of making. Her chocolate eyes were filled with questions and desperation for reassurance or answers or anything to make sense of the whole goddamn thing. Edward didn't know what to give her, but he wanted to give her everything. He settled for leaning his forehead down to her knees, and resting it against her hands. He allowed the hand tracing her skin to tangle lightly in her hair as he battled with what to do. She caught glimpses of his mind as he stroked her scalp. She could see the way he saw her, the way she captivated him, settled into his own perplexity over how it occurred. She could see and feel that he meant it, but it felt bigger than them. It felt out of their hands – like destiny, perhaps.

Bella moved her hands out from under his head, and ran her fingers through his hair, scraping at his scalp gently. Edward had the strangest flashback to his mother, nearly one hundred years ago, doing the same thing to help him fall asleep. He didn't sleep anymore, but the peace he felt at her touch was enough to lull him into a trance. A trance where he was a regular human sneaking in his girlfriend's window at night, the kind that could grow old and get fat and never want to drink her blood. The kind of human that he wished now, more than ever, he could be. Bella could see his vague memories flash through his mind before his brain dulled to serene calm.

The two sat like that for long enough for Bella's legs to ache from being bent for too long. She gingerly straightened them out, and her feet dangled off of Edward's lap. He stayed in his hunched position until Bella lay back, and Edward followed suit. They were somewhat perpendicular, but the feeling of her slim legs draped across his gave him a contentment he hadn't formerly known. He couldn't wait for the days of perfect control, when he could hold her and kiss her and make love to her without fear for her life. Bella eventually drifted off to sleep, and Edward finally moved so he could get her under the covers. He lay down next to her, not touching her, but watching her angel's face as she slipped deeper into unconsciousness. Edward decided to hunt quickly, and maneuvered out of the window. He was back in fifteen minutes time, and Bella was in the same position. He mirrored her and counted her breaths until her lips began to tremble. His head lifted from the pillow as he heard her racing heart beat, and her sleeping face contorted to one of pain.

"No, Edward, please, don't," she begged, her voice hushed in the night. Edward's limbs froze as he realized she was having a nightmare about him. He didn't know if he should wake her up and force her to face her tormentor head on, or if he should let her finish the dream. He considered leaving entirely, and perhaps never returning if he was tearing her up that badly, but he was still stuck in indecision. "Edward! Stop! I don't…think I can."

Edward warred with himself with only seconds more, then, against his better judgment, reached out and shook her shoulder gently. Her eyes popped open and her chest heaved as her breath came in short gasps. She blinked a few times, her eyes focusing on Edward, and he could see fear there. As soon as he identified it, she blinked and it was gone. Relief filled her eyes, and she reached for him.

Edward was stunned, and unsure if he should return her embrace. Perhaps she didn't remember her dream? Perhaps she didn't realize he was the one haunting her?

"Oh, God, Edward, I just…I had a…bad dream," she told him in a hushed voice. He let his instincts guide him, and he tucked her head into his chest and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She whimpered lowly, "Get under the covers."

Edward obliged, though lying under the covers and embracing someone lovingly was something he'd never done before. His discomfort melted when he felt her warm body press as tightly to him as she could. The tip of her nose hit the skin just above his collar, so hot it felt like a brand, and he wished that she could mark him on the outside as she had on the inside.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't…no."

"Bella…you said my name. Did you have a nightmare about me?"

"It wasn't…it's not like that…."

"Are you afraid of me?"

"No, I'm not, even if I should be. I just dreamed…it was the same as when my mother died, but you were there instead of him. I dream about that night often, it's nothing new," she tried to tell him. She felt his fear, and his repulsion with himself, but wanted to assure him that she didn't feel that way about him.

"But you dreamed I was the killer…you have to tell me if I scare you. Promise me," he said.

"I promise. I'm not, though. Right now, I'm just…I'm scared that I'll lose you."

"You won't. You can't, I won't leave."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Will you stay with me 'til morning?" Bella's voice sounded so small in the dark room, her arms wrapped tightly around a stone cold body, but finding comfort there anyway.

"I will…I was thinking…obviously, we'll have to stay apart at school, but maybe I can come over in the evenings, and stay with you," Edward suggested in a whisper.

"Just like this?"

"If you like."

"Yes. I like." Edward chuckled as Bella's breathing evened out, and she fell asleep again. No more nightmares visited her, and Edward held her the entire night. When she rolled over, away from him, he didn't hesitate to put his arm around her waist and snuggle into her back. He felt in total control of his thirst. He was going to try to go to school the next day.

xXx

Edward kissed Bella's knuckles chastely before disappearing out of her window. She missed him as soon as she was out of sight, though Bella knew she was being ridiculous. She tried to talk the butterflies out of her stomach when she thought about how she'd awoken with him spooning her, to no avail. She was as giddy as a schoolgirl. As she got up and showered, she suddenly remembered that Edward had said, 'see you in an hour' before departing, leaving her to wonder if he was returning to school. He hadn't mentioned it, and he wasn't in her class until the afternoon, but she assumed that he would be there bright and early.

And probably watching her every move, knowing him. He had turned into a lovesick fool overnight, and the rakish vampire was no more.

Bella pulled her Tercel into a spot at the side of the school, opting to go through a side entrance. She was flipping through some papers she held in her arms, looking for a specific file, when she heard a loud pop. Her steps faltered as her head jolted to look towards the offending noise. She saw that one of the students, Tyler, had blown a tire on his van as he entered the lot. She felt a flash of sympathy before she realized that he was going too fast, and now his van was careening sideways directly towards her. Her brain screamed, 'Run!' but her feet wouldn't move. Bella felt her mouth drop, but then braced her self for impact.

She was suddenly hit from the side, instead of the immense frontal load she expected, and she was airborne. Papers flew through the air, her purse fell to the ground, and her stomach dropped. She felt a jarring sensation, accompanied with the sound of metal crunching, then she rolled through the air. She landed with a thud, and the wind knocked out of her, directly on top of one Edward Cullen. She was too shocked and out of breath to say anything. Her hair had twirled around both of their faces, nearly obscuring her view of him, but his eyes were clear and urgent.

"Bella? Bella, are you alright? Your neck? Your back? I tried to protect your head," he said, raising one hand to gingerly probe at her skull. She blinked rapidly, trying to calm herself and figure out what happened, but she was shaken up too badly. Tears pooled in her eyes and she dropped her head to his chest. She felt his worry, and couple with her own, it was overwhelming. Edward gently grasped her upper arms, and upon realizing the crowd, said in a strangled voice, "Ms. Swan, are you all right?"

Students and a few faculty members swarmed around them, their voices rising and creating an unpleasant cacophony of noise. Bella was still trying to get her wits about her when she heard the word 'ambulance,' and tried to at least save her dignity. Her muscles were shaky as she tried to sit up, discovering it was nearly impossible without straddling Edward in the parking lot, in front of half of Forks, so she tried to scoot over to his side. Edward was able to stand, but did a good job at looking like someone who just smashed into the hood of a car, flipped through the air, and landed on pavement with a body on top of his. He leaned forward as though his back were hurt, and talked with a restrained voice, like the force of the hit knocked the air out of him as well. He helped Bella to her feet, examining her closely to see if she was injured.

She appeared dazed and shaken up, but her extremities seemed to be in working order. He feared she would have whiplash, as he was unable to provide adequate support for her head. The entire situation occurred so quickly, and he was thankful to be parked on the right side of the parking lot. Appearing out of thin air wouldn't have helped the situation at all. As it were, he still had to run at a slightly-faster-than-human pace, effectively striking her in the side, whilst trying to form a protective cage around her. He managed to turn them and hid the hood of her Tercel, denting it severely, but had to flip once more to land beneath her on the ground.

Flashing lights appeared just before the ambulance pulled up. Edward helped Bella into the vehicle, grabbing her purse for her, but lamenting the fact that all of her papers were scattered all over. He started to climb in with her, but one of the EMTs tried to stop him.

"I was in the accident, dude," he said, trying to sound like an unassuming kid. "I need to get checked out, too, and my dad's a doctor at the hospital."

The tech gave him a suspicious look, but allowed him to climb in. The EMTs didn't make Bella lie down, but Edward tried to find a way to inconspicuously talk her into doing it. She barely registered the ambulance ride, and she was beginning to feel lightheaded. She turned to look at Edward, and he saw her face pale before his eyes. His arm wrapped around her back just as her eyes rolled back into her head and she slumped into him, unconscious.

At the hospital, Edward ignored the tech's request to let him get Bella onto a gurney, and proceeded to pick her up, bridal style, and carry her through the automatic doors. Carlisle was waiting for them, and raised his eyebrow at the sight he beheld.

"She passed out," Edward explained. Carlisle managed to get him to lie her down on a gurney, and she was pushed into one of the exam rooms. Edward attempted to hover, but Carlisle reminded him quietly that it wasn't protocol to allow someone into the room like he wanted to be. Edward sullenly agreed, and slumped over to a chair in the hallway. Charlie burst in, startling most everyone in the room, before marching towards Edward.

"Where is she?" Charlie's heart was racing, and Edward could smell the sweat on his skin.

"She's in there, with my father. I think she's fine, but she's really shaken up," Edward tried to explain.

"So, you saved her? From a car?"

"Yes, sir. One of the other students had a tire blowout in the parking lot, and as he was going too fast, his van headed straight towards her. I was able to get her out of the way, but we tumbled a bit. I'm afraid I dented her car," he said in a sheepish tone, trying to sound respectful and eighteen years old.

"I don't give a damn about her car, son. Thank you," Charlie spoke genuinely. He stood with his hands on his hips for a minute before looking back at Edward. "So, is Bella your teacher?"

"Yes, sir. Sixth period. Ms. Swan is very good at what she does."

"Yeah. She's smart – so smart. Blew her old man out of the water, that's for sure," Charlie said with pride. Edward nodded eagerly as the door opened, and Carlisle welcomed Charlie into the room. Edward stood at the door anxiously, which Carlisle did not close, and watched as Bella greeted her father. She looked substantially calmer, and extremely relieved. Her eyes caught Edward's and filled with tears once more. Charlie looked over his shoulder and saw that Edward was watching his daughter with what looked like no small amount of affection.

Carlisle confirmed that Bella was fine, but she might get a little sore later from her muscles tensing so quickly, and the adrenaline rush. Charlie told her he'd bring the car around to pick her up, and with another word of thanks to Edward, went through the double doors. Edward took a step towards Bella, but as he opened his mouth to say something, she jumped from her seat and launched herself at him.

"You saved my life, Edward – oh my God!" She didn't know what else to say, so she wrapped her arms around him, squeezing tightly, and holding him there in an embrace that looked like a little more than a 'thank you'. Carlisle quickly shut the door before anyone could see the two in a compromising situation. Edward held her just as close, unwilling to let her go. The moment he saw the van heading towards her at school, he felt like his very heart was being ripped from his chest. Every through fled his mind except for 'Not her!' and he acted without reserve. He couldn't bear the thought of something happening to her.

After what seemed like too short of a time, Edward tried to release Bella. Her feet hit the ground but she didn't want to back away. More tears streamed down her face as she looked up at him, adoringly, and whispered, "Will you come over, please?"

Edward agreed, and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. The feeling of her skin beneath his lips was almost too much for him. It was like kissing chocolate or pure air or joy – indescribable to the point of fantasy.

Bella finally bid him goodbye, and waved politely at Dr. Cullen. After signing a few requisite forms, she walked out to where her father was waiting. She got into the police cruiser, and Charlie smiled at her.

"I think that boy may have a crush on you," he commented, looking past her and through the doors where Edward stood, not quite hiding the fact that he was watching her.

"Maybe. But if his crush made him save my life, then I, for one, am glad he feels that way," Bella said with a smirk. She knew Edward could hear her through the glass that separated them, and she thought she saw him roll his eyes. So much for being inconspicuous, she thought.

Charlie agreed with a snort and drove her towards her house. He helped get her settled with a heating pad for her back, a book, water, and aspirin. He promised to get one of the guys to go with him to get her car, and had to head back out. Seconds after the front door closed, Edward appeared in her windowsill, perched like a bird. He hopped into the room and quickly darted to her side, kneeling next to her bed, and taking her hands in his. He kissed both of them as he gazed at her, feeling utterly sentimental and foolish, and unable to care. He brushed a piece of hair from her face and smiled softly.

"Thank God you're okay."

"Thank you. You're the one that saved me."

"I may have exposed myself as a lovesick schoolboy."

"There are worse things to be exposed as," Bella pointed out.

"Such as?"

"Oh, a teacher lovesick for a student. That's a big no-no, and yet, I practically mauled you at the hospital."

"You can maul me anywhere."

"I'll hold you to that."

"I hope you do," he said cheekily, a hint of his former arrogance making an appearance.

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^'Feck' is sometimes used in Irish dialect instead of 'fuck'

**Hit me up on Twitter (at) ginginleelee**

**Teaser will be going up tomorrow on my blog - http: / ginginleelee (dot) blogspot (dot) com**


	8. Chapter 8: Where It Was Going

**Hello, all! So glad to see you again. This chapters got a wee bit more romance in it (I think), so I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for your overwhelming response to this story - I'm glad you all are liking it so much.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Thanks to my beta, anythingzombie, for her supernatural beta'ing skills.**

**Song rec: The Black Ghosts - "Some Way Through It"**

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The next few weeks passed very quickly for Ms. Bella Swan. She was ooh'd and aah'd over at school, by both faculty and students – especially Mr. Newton – and hated the attention. She'd managed to stay in the shadows before, as nothing more than a lowly student teacher, but her very public accident was the talk of the school.

Tyler, the boy driving the van, wasn't hurt, and his van barely scratched an old truck that was parked near Bella's car. Her car didn't fare too well after Edward's heroic dive onto it, and she had to decide whether to get it worked on, or finally let go of the trusty thing. It had 250,000 miles on it, and while it still ran okay (for the most part) it didn't have anything extra – power windows or locks, A/C, or a working radio. Edward begged and pleaded for her to allow him to buy her a new vehicle, but she insisted that it was too much. After a bit of arguing/compromising, he talked her into letting him pay a down payment on a dependable Volvo, similar to his own, except a hatchback. She managed to convincingly lie to Charlie about how she paid such a hefty down payment, referencing imaginary savings accounts and the like.

The students were aflutter with the gossip involving a certain Edward Cullen and Ms. Swan, but she managed to downplay everything. Angela did her best to not bring it up, and Rose and Emmett smirked at her each morning as the whispers met her ears. She knew that there was nothing that could be condemning, at least not to the naked eye. To a certain telepathic teacher, however, Edward's class work managed to be laced with affection and adoration, seemingly without trying. Bella tried not to pay too much attention, knowing that her eyes were incredibly readable, so she tried her best to never be caught even glancing at Edward.

He was, of course, still visiting her every evening. He sat with her until she fell asleep, then he snuck out to hunt. He returned long before she woke up, and bid her goodbye before running home. They settled into a familiar routine, utilizing their time at night to find out more about each other. Bella asked Edward question upon question about his past and the places he'd been; Edward, in turn, asked Bella about the most minute and seemingly inconsequential aspects of human life. She didn't mind sharing, though the fact that he wanted her to describe what ice cream tasted like, and the texture of cotton candy, baffled her. She also discovered her own inability to describe all of the little things she'd taken for granted throughout her life. What did it feel like to stand in the cold rain? What did it remind her of when she rode a roller coaster? Those things she'd done a hundred times were suddenly chief in her mind as she searched for the perfect words, the perfect metaphors, to describe them.

Bella visited Edward's home infrequently. She hadn't seen Esme since 'the incident,' as she called it, and she was thankful for that. She'd gotten the chance to sit with Alice a few times, and to joke around with Emmett and Rose, but Esme was always missing. Bella felt guilty for driving someone from her own home, but Edward assured her that everyone else wanted her there. She insisted that they mainly spend time at her home, so as not to create any problems.

Bella was certain of the sincerity of Edward's feelings for her – she heard them from his skin constantly, but she was overjoyed that he couldn't ever read her mind. Though she knew she was attracted to him, and that her feelings were growing for him daily, she still was at war with herself. In her heart, she knew that Edward wouldn't intentionally hurt her, and she trusted the Cullens. Her mind, however, had carried too many thoughts and ideas about vampires for six long years, and she was remiss to let those go easily. Her increasing nightmares gave insight to the dormant prejudices she tried to brush off, and Edward knew it. While she tried convince him that she wasn't afraid of him, she was also trying to convince herself.

Most days she felt like a Jewish girl befriending a Nazi officer during the Holocaust – like he was granting her a reprieve that at any moment could be revoked. Sure, the Nazi officer was the one doing wrong, the monster, but the Jewish girl batting her eyes at him, waiting for him to condemn her, was just being plain stupid. Shouldn't she run? Shouldn't get as far away as possible?

But those questions didn't make any progress in Bella's mind. Despite her waffling thoughts, she knew that it was too late for her to get away. Not that Edward wouldn't let her, not that he wouldn't set her free, but she was in too deep to get out. She wouldn't let herself be free of him now; he'd claimed her without trying, and now Bella was frightened of the implications. Could she ever really, truly love him, knowing he was a murderer? And what if Esme was right – what if she got old and Edward didn't want her anymore? Bella reveled in the time they spent together, but her moments alone were spent in disquiet. She reminded herself that he loved her, truly, he did, and that he saved her life. When they were together, she was calm, at peace, but when they parted, her entire body thrummed with anxiety.

She could only hope to find a way through it, otherwise, she'd never be able to fully commit to Edward, which would cause her even more grief. Even in her darkest moments of confusion, she was certain of Edward's commitment to her.

Edward was thrilled with his and Bella's progress. He learned more and more about her, and he was finally able to read her better. He could tell when she was upset before she said a word, or when she uncomfortable. He could see the worry creeping into her eyes as soon as it occurred, and he could also see the adoration she felt for him. Edward felt like he'd somehow stumbled into a fairytale, and he was cast as the prince to Bella's princess. He knew he'd never done a goddamn thing worthy of getting Bella, but he was willing to admit that something – God or the universe – was giving him a great gift, and he better not fuck it up. He focused on keeping his cravings under control, and hunting as often as possible, so that he could stay alone with Bella each night.

He was getting gutsier in his touches, and was able to embrace her often, though he usually retired to the rocking chair while she slept. He was able to kiss her forehead and her hands, but he wasn't ready to really kiss her. Bella understood that they needed to continue to take things slowly, and was willing to wait, as well.

Spring Break arrived quickly, and Edward convinced Bella to take a short trip with him. She told her father she was going with a friend from school, which technically was true since she didn't specify what school exactly. Apparently the Cullens had a cottage in Northern California that Edward had unlimited access to, so Bella agreed. She was nervous about being completely alone with Edward for an extended period of time, but she was also excited. The more she was with him, the more she wanted to be with him – and four straight days together would probably push Bella into addiction territory. She packed her bags and drove to the Cullen's to meet Edward. She had barely put the car in park before he was at her door, opening it and trying to retrieve her before her seatbelt was unlatched. Once she was released, he gathered her into a tight hug. He'd seen her only two hours prior, but he still felt relief at the sight of her. He never quite felt like himself unless he was with her anymore.

Bella was good at keeping her feelings hidden at school, but Edward knew that he failed miserably. Emmett and Rose both tried to point out when he was gazing at her for too long, or when he was uncontrollably walking towards her classroom when he didn't need to be. He was aware that he was making an arse of himself, but he couldn't find it in him to care. While it may be against the rules for Bella to act on any feelings for a student, he had no such conditions. He should be able to doodle her name with little hearts around it in his notebook if he wanted. The rumors after he saved her from Tyler's van swelled more each time he was caught looking at her, but he didn't care about the mutterings of his peers. If it wouldn't horrify Bella, he would stand on his chair in the cafeteria and shout out that he loved her. He was absolutely, one hundred percent positive that Mrs. Cheney was on to him, and she shot him chastising looks often. He wished he could still compel her, and then he could make her stop looking at him like a criminal, but he didn't have that power any longer.

It was hard to exist solely on animal blood after living for eighty years off of humans, but he was managing. His love for Bella steeled his resolve. He knew he couldn't have done it on his own; he needed her as his driving force.

"So…I hope you don't mind, but…there's another cabin on the property, a few acres away, so Jasper and Alice are going to stay there…is that okay?"

"Of course, Edward. I don't mind at all. You can invite Em and Rose, if you like," Bella told him as she lifted her bag out of the passenger seat. Edward immediately took it from her, earning a little scowl, which caused him to lift her in his other arm and carry her towards his car.

"Well, it's not exactly a vacation for them. They're going to stay close by just in case…anything happens," he explained. His hand touched the bare skin of Bella's back, and she could see his regretful thoughts concerning his new diet. Though he was thrilled to be taking this trip with her, he was still worried that he wouldn't be able to control himself.

"That's a good idea. Accidents happen, you know," Bella said in an effort to comfort him.

"I know…I just wish we didn't have to worry about those kind of accidents," Edward said, his mood darkening noticeably.

"Ah, well, I'm not worried," Bella said as she leaned over and kissed his jaw, beneath his ear. He felt a rumble of desire in his stomach, but couldn't afford to get too caught up in it. Bella was never overly affectionate with him, mainly because she didn't want to push him before he was ready, but that didn't mean her body didn't react to him. She wasn't that worried, actually, about Edward losing control. She was more worried that his preoccupation would hinder their time together.

"Good. They're driving separately. I didn't want to waste any alone time with you." He visibly tried to shake off his morbid thoughts and focus on the uninterrupted Bella-time he was about to partake in.

"Yeah, 'cause it's not like we'll be alone in the cabin for four days," she teased.

"Hey, I spend the majority of my days pretending I'm not in love with you, let me have my fun with this!"

"Ha! Do you actually believe anyone thinks you're not in love with Bella?" Emmett hollered at Edward as he stepped onto the porch, a smiling Rose in tow. "Everyone knows, dude."

"It's true. Bella may pretend you're not in love with her, and that the two of you aren't involved, but you are a terrible actor," Rose quipped. Bella blushed, knowing that most everyone at school gossiped about the formerly cold Edward Cullen's sudden interest in a certain student teacher. She also knew most of the girls couldn't fathom why Edward would like her; most decided he must just like the thrill of the chase – an older, unavailable woman.

"Eh, feck off! Who cares anyway? I'm not doing anything wrong," Edward grumbled into Bella's shoulder, as he still held her hoisted in the air. She giggled as he finally set her down. She saw Jasper and Alice emerge from the house, and she went to greet them.

"Hi, Alice, it's good to see you. I'm glad you're coming with us," Bella said genuinely as she touched the silent vampire's arm. Alice was able to identify Bella's voice now, giving her a scarlet ribbon through her mind each time she spoke. Bella turned to Jasper and gave him the customary hug she'd introduced a week prior.

Bella found that Jasper was almost as soothing to listen to as Alice. While his mind was obviously filled with words and memories, he was still calm, like a soothing balm on a burn. She loved to hear his reverence for Alice. She'd managed to see enough from both his and Edward's memories to know that Jasper was crazed for a while, feeding from Alice constantly, compelling her daily so she wouldn't run. Even when he realized she would never really be herself again, his love didn't falter or fade. His devotion to her only grew, not out of guilt to atone for what he'd done, but from fierce protectiveness. He wanted to give her as good of a life as he could. He wanted to provide for her, and give her good things for once. He would never get over what he'd done, but knowing that she was satisfied with him, that she played fond memories of the two in her mind, was enough for him. As long as Alice knew that he really loved her, he would be at peace with their situation.

The two pairs bid Em and Rose adieu, and headed off. They would have to drive for around ten hours before they got there, but Edward assured Bella that they would have plenty to talk about to fill the time. Over halfway through the drive, exhausting the topic of music after Edward went on a long rant discussing music from the 40s, Bella's phone rang. She glanced at it but wasn't sure if she should answer.

"You can take it. I don't mind," Edward said, forcing a smile. He saw the name 'Alec' across the screen, accompanied by a small photo of a man with dark hair and very white teeth. Bella looked at him quizzically, but hit the green button to answer the call. Had she touched Edward's hand where it was perched on the gear shift, she would've seen that he, in fact, did not want her to take that call, and he wished Alec had never been born. But she didn't touch his hand, so she answered Alec's call without a second thought.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bells! What's up?" Edward could hear everything the guy said, thankfully.

"Not too much. Just heading out of town. How about you?"

"I'm trying to finish writing a twenty-page paper, so I thought I'd take a study break and see how you are. Where're you headed?"

"Northern California, to a cabin in the woods, pretty much," Bella answered, picking at the hem of her shirt as she looked out the window.

"Very cool. Who're you going with?"

"Um…just a friend," Bella answered. Edward froze, unsure what to make of Bella's answer. He simultaneously wanted her to know that he was upset, but also didn't want her to turn and see the hurt on his face at her flippant response.

"Oh, who?"

"Actually, Alec, I'm going with…with my boyfriend!"

Edward's head snapped up as he heard Bella's exclamation. She looked relieved to have put the word out there, and Edward couldn't contain the giddy giggle that bubbled up at her words. Bella looked over at him, taking his giggle as him mocking her, and narrowed her eyes. Edward grabbed her hand immediately so she could see that he was just happy.

Of course, different names were floating around his head…words like…partner, mate, and unfortunately, before he could stop it, wife. He lamented his lack of control in times like that.

Bella nearly gaped at him as he thought of her in such…eternal terms. She almost missed what Alec was saying.

"Wow, Bells, that's awesome! When do I get to meet this guy? How long have you been together? I don't think you mentioned him last time we spoke."

"No, I don't believe I did. I, um, would love for you to meet him, but…well, my dad's not met him yet, either…it's kind of a secret, actually."

"Why would it be a secret?"

"It just is…it has to be for now. There are…extenuating circumstances that make it necessary to hide the relationship for now."

"What kind of circumstances? Is he married?"

"God, no! Nothing like that."

"Is he an escaped convict? Because I think that would be a serious conflict of interest for you and your father. Or he's a celebrity hiding out in Forks, right?"

"Alec…."

"No, wait, he's your boss! Or he works for your dad! Or one of your dad's friends! Or the parent of a student! Or your advisor! Another teacher at the school!"

"Alec, please! Geez, you didn't guess it…though you might've guessed every other possibility," she muttered. Edward had to laugh at the guy's resolve to guess.

"Well, is it illegal?"

Bella shot a look at Edward, who just half-shrugged then shook his head.

"It's not illegal," since he's over eighteen, Bella thought, "but frowned upon. For now. In a few months, we'll get it out in the open."

"In a few months?" There was a long pause on the other end of the phone. "Bella…."

"Yes?" Bella sucked in a short breath, suddenly realizing she gave too much away. Alec was a perceptive guy, and stubborn to a fault. She should've known he wouldn't rest until he figured it out.

"Bella," was his reply.

"Yes," she sighed.

"You'll ruin your career before you even get started," Alec warned. Edward looked over with concerned eyes, taking in Bella's slumped shoulders. "How old is this kid?"

"He's not a kid! He's…nineteen," Bella said sharply with a glance at Edward. "And he's extremely mature. We're very careful at school."

"Bella, teenage boys have fantasies about this sort of thing…fucking their teachers is like the ultimate goal of a high school senior. You need to be careful. Did he pursue you?"

"It was more of a mutual pursuit," she said, thinking back to when she went to his home unannounced, followed by his gallant jump through her bedroom window. "And he's not like that. Not at all."

"I know you're a smart girl, but you're not very experienced in this sort of thing –"

"Alec, need I remind you that I have a certain talent for sniffing out the truth? Do you not think that I would've found out by now if Edward were lying, or just trying to fuck me?"

Edward flinched at her choice of words.

"Of course, I know, I know. You're right. You would know. I just don't want you to risk everything for something that probably won't last. Someone that young can't be in it for the long haul."

"You don't even know him. He's barely four years younger than me," Bella said, thinking it was more like she was ninety years younger than him. "We're serious."

Alec was silent for a few moments, and Bella reached out for Edward's hand again. She could see that he was unsettled by the conversation she was having, but he was also firm in his love for her, and their future.

"So he's with you now?"

"Yes, we're in the car."

"Can I talk to him?"

"No, you may not!" Edward reached for the phone as Bella stuttered. "Edward, stop! Stop!" But it was too late.

"This is Edward Cullen," he said in a low voice.

"Alec Peirson. So I hear you're out gallivanting with our Bella now, huh?"

"Yes, I suppose. We're in a relationship, so I'm not sure that gallivanting is the right term. We're travelling."

"So your parents let you go out of town by yourself?"

"They know I'm with Bella."

"And they allow you to take overnight trips with your teacher? They don't think that is odd?"

"My parents don't tell me what to do. Truthfully, Alec, they're my adoptive parents, and they haven't told me what to do in a long time. They offer me a place to stay, and support, but they also recognize that I am an adult, and can make my own decisions. While my and Bella's situation may not be ideal at this point in time, it will be fine in a few months, just as she said. And she, too, is an adult. You seem to know her fairly well, so I'm sure you are aware that she's very independent and a little hard-headed."

"Ha, you got that right," Alec replied as Bella scoffed in the passenger seat.

"And we both know what she can do, so she knows the deepest parts of me, parts I wouldn't share with anyone, and she wants me anyway. I love her, and I don't want to put her career in jeopardy, but it's just too goddamn difficult to stay away all the time. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I do, Edward. And I appreciate you being candid with me. And you seem…you do seem mature. I love Bella, too, and I want her to be happy. And safe. That is extremely important to me, and if I find out that you hurt her in anyway, I'll fly out to Forks and kick your ass, okay, little boy?"

Alec's voice turned taunting, as he was hoping to provoke Edward to anger. Instead, Edward laughed jovially.

"All right, old man. I got you," he responded, handing the phone back to Bella. She looked a little incensed, but managed to finish her conversation, remembering to ask Alec about his new girlfriend and how his semester was shaping up. She said goodbye, and turned to look at Edward.

"You're not upset, are you?" She gave him the opportunity to answer out loud, rather than probe into his mind.

"I'm not upset. I just…I don't want to make this into…I don't want to cause trouble. Honestly, if you need me to leave you along until I graduate, I can…I don't want to be apart, but I can manage. I can 'get sick' again, and home school. I mean, I don't even need this diploma; we just went to school to have something to do while we stayed in Forks. Tell me what I need to do to make this easier on you."

Bella tried to rationally think through her options. She could ask Edward to home school, but that wouldn't help the fact that they had to wait a few months to go public. He could keep his distance and still attend school, but they could put the kibosh on their evening visits. Or, they could continue the delicate dance they were doing, where everyone knew Edward was smitten with her, and she played the aloof student teacher. At least that way she still saw him in class and he would still come over at night.

"No…I don't want to…I don't think I could stay away from you now. We can do this."

Edward smiled and Bella took his hand, seeing the relief in his mind. Bella was wondering how exactly they would come out as a couple when he was finished with school. It would look fairly suspicious if they announced their couple-dom the day after he graduated – giving evidence to the rumors flying around about them. Perhaps they should stage a few public run-ins over the summer, and they could officially 'start dating' around the time that school was back in session. Bella suddenly heard Alec's name floating through Edward's mind, accompanied by jealousy and curiosity.

"What is it? What do you want to know?"

Bella saw what Edward was thinking, but tried to be patient. He was visualizing Bella fucking some faceless, dark-haired man, and Edward was growing angry.

"How long did you two date?"

"Almost two years."

"And you've stayed friends since then?"

"Yes. It was an amicable split."

"Did you date anyone else?"

"No, just Alec."

"And you slept with him?"

"Edward…" she began. "We were college students in a two year relationship."

"Yes, and…?"

"What do you think?"

"Why won't you say it?"

"Yes, we slept together."

"When?"

"What do you mean? When did we last have sex?"

"No, how long had you been together when you did it?"

"Umm…I'd say a couple of months, give or take."

"So, not very long."

"No, I guess not."

"Hmm." Edward said nothing more, opting to turn the radio up instead. He stealthily slipped his hand out from under Bella's as he downshifted, and left it there. Bella knew that he was feeling extremely jealous, territorial, and strangely inadequate, but she also saw that he wasn't ready to give her access to his thoughts. Bella allowed the silence to last twenty minutes, but as they entered California, she couldn't be quiet any longer.

"Edward, would you like to talk? I know you're upset."

"I'm not upset."

"Yes, you are. Are we going to talk like adults, or are you going to sulk and refuse to talk to me?"

"Fine. Here," he said, shoving his hand at her. She could easily see what was on his mind, but she wanted him to be able to say it out loud.

"Edward, talk to me."

"I'm…I just didn't think…I hate that you slept with Alec! And I can't even kiss you. I'm such a bloody arse."

"No, you're not, you're human – well, not really, but you know what I mean. Everyone gets jealous, everyone feels the way you do now. And it was years ago. I know you can't kiss me yet, and I don't want to push you too far, but know that I am looking forward to…being more intimate with you in the future, okay? And I have no doubt that you'll be magnificent," she told him with a grin.

"It's just hard, knowing another man has been with you…you're…you're mine now, and I hate knowing that he was inside of you and pleased you and will forever have the vision of you naked in his memory."

"You don't think I have the same problem?"

"What do you mean?"

"Edward…you're no angel. And while you can conjure up some irrational images of what Alec and I may or may not have engaged in, I have first hand visuals of your trysts. Talk about hard to handle –"

"Wait, so you…you've seen…I've shown you?"

Bella abruptly released his hand. "Yes, you have. Inadvertently, at times, and just now as we spoke, it was like a slideshow of naked vampires gritting their teeth, panting, and saying your name. How do you think I feel? My…boyfriend, partner, whatever, screwed countless women, most of which are among the most beautiful in the world, and here I am, a squishy, plain human. You don't think I'm jealous? Or that I don't feel less-than, like I won't measure up? It goes both ways, Edward."

"Bella…I'm sorry…I didn't…I didn't know you had…I wish I hadn't been with anyone before. I've never been with a human, though," Edward said as he hesitantly took Bella's hand, kissing her knuckles softly. She smiled.

"I know."

A question flew through Edward's mind, not too quick for Bella to pick up on.

"Yes, sometimes Alec did think of other women during sex. Or porn he'd seen. I mean…he couldn't really help what he was thinking about. And if that's what he needed to help him…finish, then who was I to begrudge him?"

"Did you everything think of someone else?"

"Not really…not that I can remember specifically. It's hard to know what flits through your mind each second, you know?"

"Yeah, I'm realizing that. I hope I don't…think of anyone else when we make love," he said almost absentmindedly. He didn't think he'd be capable of doing anything but focusing on Bella, and on not losing control, but he also hadn't realized he was showing Bella all of the lewd moments of his previous experiences. If only he could somehow clear his mind of all of that, he thought.

"It's okay, honey. I lo—" Bella caught herself before she said 'love' to Edward. She didn't know when that became true, or if it was true at all. She racked her brain, trying to figure out if she'd gotten caught up in the moment, or if she really wanted to say it. Edward clearly realized what she was going to say, but he was quiet as she processed. His thoughts were running amuck with elation, but verbally he remained silent.

When had her affection grown to love? Was she _in_ love with Edward, or did she just care deeply for him? Was she ready for him to know? She turned to look at him, studying his profile, and then he turned to her, his emerald eyes soft, his lips set into a soft pout, and she couldn't stop the words from falling from her mouth.

"I love you, Edward."

Edward's mouth broke into a breathtaking smile and he pulled the car over onto the shoulder. Bella looked around, surprised, until she saw in Edward's mind what he was planning.

"I want to try something," he told her as he rolled down the windows. He didn't want to be overwhelmed by her scent as he got closer to her. "Be very still."

Edward leaned in, his eyes dancing all over her face before settling on her lips. He breathed deeply, feeling solid in his control, and he smiled as he whispered, "I love you, Bella Swan."

His lips met hers in a sweet, chaste kiss, one of tasting and testing and exploring. Bella didn't move her lips, but allowed Edward's to shift, nipping at the top and bottom both before pressing more firmly. He pulled back and almost shivered from the feeling – she was so warm, almost scalding, and he loved the way it felt like she seared his past and his very nature right from his skin. He nuzzled his nose against hers before pressing his mouth to hers once more, a little more insistent, a little more curious, and he took the chance to run his tongue between her lips. She gasped, allowing him to pry gently into her mouth, and the hot wetness of her tongue was almost his undoing.

He didn't struggle in that moment with the urges of his vampire nature, but instead, those of his teenage human nature – at that one touch of her tongue, he wanted to touch her everywhere, taste her everywhere, experience everything about her and with her. Just as she ran her smooth tongue over his, he pulled away slowly. He opened his eyes to see that Bella looked a bit dazed, and her cheeks were flushed.

"Oh my God," she spoke.

"I know…I think I…" he trailed off, shaking his head to pull him from the spell his was under.

"What?"

"I felt in control, for the most part, but…I want to do so much more," he said in a strained voice.

"I know. I saw, remember?"

"Oh. Yeah," he replied, wondering how he could've forgotten that detail.

"It's like…like watching a movie I'm starring in, that you wrote but I have yet to read the script…it's exciting. It turns me on," she told him honestly, and if Edward could've blushed, he would've. At times he wished that he hadn't been turned at such a young age – these moments, when he felt almost human, he also felt like a hormonal, bashful teenager. Bella laughed as she heard his embarrassment and kissed him softly at the corner of his mouth. "We should keep going. Jasper and Alice are parked behind us, and I don't want to give them a free show."

Edward laughed, carefree and happy. Bella loved him, and he kissed her. And he would keep kissing her throughout the trip, and hopefully she would keep telling him she loved him. The week was off to a glorious start, and he couldn't help but beam over at the love of his life, as her hair blew around her face in the wind. She was exquisite, and she was his.

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**Follow me on Twitter (at) ginginleelee**


	9. Chapter 9: What's Headed This Way

**So, we've got a lot of progress that's to be made in this chapter...I hope you peeps like it.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Thanks to my beta, anythingzombie, who works hard even when I overwhelm her.**

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The next couple of days passed in a montage of moments. Bella whispering, "I love you," to Edward as she fell asleep at night. Edward kissing her cheeks and her hair and her lips until he couldn't take it. Bella holding his hand to her stomach as the pair lay side-by-side on the bed, their eyes meeting and diving into the other. Edward hunting quickly and efficiently, and hurrying back to Bella, snuggled in bed. The two watched terrible shows on TV and looked at decade old magazines and laughed. They laid in bed until the sun was halfway up the sky, and stayed outside until the night was so full of stars it looked half-white. They managed to seclude themselves just fine from Alice and Jasper, and their hearts began to mend together as one. They were sickly in love, crazy for one another and desperate. They couldn't bear to part for any of Bella's waking moments, and they lamented the charade they would have to keep up when they went back home.

During their last night at the cabin, Bella insisted on inviting Alice and Jasper over. They arrived quickly, and the four sat squished on the couch together, talking and catching up. Bella heard crazy hunting stories she'd never been privy to, relishing in the idea that Edward had an animalistic side she had yet to see. Somehow, with his lack of partaking in human blood, she began to be turned on by his partial-beastly nature. He was always gentle and reverent with her, but she knew that buried inside of him was something other…something sort of magical and unbelievable, a sort of beautiful monster.

She tried to shake her lust-ridden thoughts from her mind, focusing back in on the conversation at hand. Jasper was relaying all of the various animals he'd taken down over the years, many ranging from the predictable to the almost endangered. He sheepishly admitted that he probably shouldn't have tasted some, but that he couldn't resist the opportunity.

"On another note, not to offend you, Bella, but I found that a lot of factors effect the way a human tastes. Smokers, for instance – blech. I've never tasted anything more horrible than a chain-smoking human!" Edward's nose wrinkled in distaste, and Jasper looked like he was trying to think back through his memories, and found himself agreeing. Bella looked on, almost amused but not quite. Edward was referencing murdering one of her own kind, so she couldn't find it too humorous.

"What about a drunk human?"

"Now, that was nice…unless they were an alcoholic. Something about the diminished liver function made them almost inedible."

"Hmm…so, what about sick people? Any one with cancer?"

"No. I could never…even if it was more humane, I could've never done anything like that," Edward said quietly, images of his own parents flashing through his mind as he looked at their entwined fingers.

"What if they had HIV, or AIDS, would that make you ill?"

"Not at all. But that's not really appealing either. Any type of blood disease is going to have an effect, let alone all of the medication the person would be on," he answered. "Vegetarians! Now they weren't very good, either. In fact, they almost tasted just like the animals I've been hunting."

"I never realized what a difference those factors would make," she said while pondering. "Are there ever humans that just…aren't good at all?"

"Not really. But some are better than others. Some smell…especially delectable," Edward said in a hushed tone. He was a bit regretful as he spoke so openly to Bella about his hunting habits.

"It's true. Alice, um, she was…I'd never smelled a human like her before. That's why I wanted to keep her around…I didn't want to rush the experience and have it over before I could truly enjoy it, so…so I, um," Jasper said with a struggle. Bella smiled at him and reached for his hand as it dangled off of Alice's shoulder.

Bella saw that Jasper had found Alice, but watched her for days before attacking. He fed from other humans so he wouldn't be ravenous when he finally took her, allowing himself the control to feed slowly. He decided at the last moment to keep her, travelling with her for as long as he could stand it, feeding from her daily. Shame colored his memory, making it painful for Bella to even watch. She squeezed his hand gently, and his thoughts came back to her. Bella could see her own face in his mind as he looked on her with genuine care. He saw her as a sister, almost a confidante, someone who accepted him as he was. He was thankful.

Bella began to tear up like the human that she was, unable to keep her emotion from getting the best of her. Edward saw one little tear trail down her cheek and pulled her back into his chest. He held her, unsure why she was crying, stroking her arm and kissing her ear. She managed to get a hold of herself, telling Jasper a quiet, "Thank you."

Jasper suggested a friendly wrestling match between brothers to break up the sentimental moment, so the four moved outside. The boys were evenly matched in their swift movements, leaving Bella confused as to what exactly was going on. She saw a blur of motion and then one of the boys would be pinned beneath the other. Sometimes she feared for Edward's safety, but his boisterous laughter was enough to calm her worries. Bella sat with her arm linked through Alice's, and she couldn't help but notice the somber tone in Alice's mind. Though she played her loop of Jasper images, the colors swirling around him were no longer yellow, but dark grey and blue. Bella could instantly tell that Alice's energy was pointing in a foreboding direction, which baffled her. She'd never been around Alice when she was like that.

"Hey, Jas?" The two paused in their fighting and looked at Bella expectantly.

"Yeah?"

"Were you talking to Alice earlier about…anything sad, or depressing?"

"No. Why?"

"Were you reading to her?"

"Yes, but it was like, chick-lit. Nothing depressing. What's up?"

"I don't know…Alice is…she's different. Her mind is dark," Bella murmured, looking at her friend's blank gaze. She saw that Alice's pupils were dilated, leaving none of the usual blue showing. "Her eyes are black."

Jasper and Edward were suddenly before her, both gazing intently at Alice. "Is she hungry?"

"No, we went hunting earlier. Anyway, her eyes don't ever get like that over hunger. I don't know what's wrong," Jasper said, reaching out and touching her. Bella saw a single ribbon of yellow shake through the dark landscape in Alice's mind before it disappeared.

"She's not normal," Bella said, getting worried. "Can vampires get sick?"

"No," Edward said with certainty. "Are you getting anything else from her besides sad or depressed?"

Bella tried to focus on Alice's mind, digging deeply into each color she painted, but she struggled to find anything concrete. "It's just…dark grey, like heavy storm clouds, and when Jasper touched her, she had a spark of yellow, but then it vanished. It makes me feel…worried. Like I should be dreading something. It's…anticipatory. An omen."

Bella felt the truth of her own statement as it left her mouth, but she didn't know what would cause Alice to feel that way. Had anything been mentioned that would've caused her grief? Were they planning something that had her frightened?

Bella didn't get to voice her question. Edward and Jasper both straightened up at the same time, their backs stiffening as they turned and looked toward the western tree line. Jasper turned to Edward, who nodded, and they both looked at Bella with near panic.

"What?"

"We have visitors. They're almost here," Edward told her as he pulled her up to stand next to him. "Don't say anything, and stay behind me."

"Vampires?" Bella asked, though she didn't need to. Edward's mind was confirming it before she spoke, though he didn't recognize the scents that were approaching. Before Bella could even move, a trio of vampires was suddenly before them, the only evidence of their entrance in the trees shaking behind their still forms. She tried not to react, and managed to keep her breathing steady and her eyes held firm on their forms.

A dark-skinned man stood shirtless, facing them, with dreadlocks to his waist. He apparently was the leader, and smiling. A redheaded woman stood to his left, slightly behind him, her hair full of debris from the forest, and a wicked grin on her face. Bella instantly felt uneasy about her. Her eyes roamed to the almost nondescript man standing in the back, but as Bella tried to zero in on his features, she had to stifle a scream.

His narrow jaw and pulled-back ponytail confirmed for her who this man was. Who the monster was. She'd never seen him in person, but his face had haunted her nightmares for six years. She couldn't have remembered the picture of him better if she'd tried. She didn't doubt for an instant that the vampire before her was the one who murdered her mother.

She had no way of letting Edward know without the others hearing her. She wished fervently that somehow Edward could hear her thoughts, and not the other way around. He was sizing up the opponents, marking them for threats and weakness in case it broke into a fight. He felt confident that he and Jasper could take all three, as long as Bella stayed behind Alice. Bella kept a tight hold on Alice's hand, trying to pull her closer but failing. Jasper had her firmly tucked under his arm, but angled behind him to shield her. Bella knew that Alice was extremely vulnerable; while she might not be killed easily, she wasn't exactly able to fight, either.

Edward was speaking pleasantly with the leader, Laurent, who also provided his companions names – Victoria, and James. "So, you are travelling through the area?"

"Yes, we came from the South. We plan to enter Canada as summer approaches," Laurent answered. "And you?"

"We're from Washington state. We're just on holiday," Edward answered.

"You live there permanently?"

"Yes, for now. We've managed to stay in one place for several years before moving on," Edward responded. The two continued their discussion, but Bella saw that James was watching her intently. He stepped forward and inserted himself into the conversation suddenly.

"You have a snack?"

"She's mine," Edward growled. James lifted his hands in surrender.

"I won't take her. I was just curious. She smells…" he sniffed the air deeply, "pure. You haven't tasted her yet?"

"I've only just found her. I haven't been able to taste her yet," Edward replied. In his mind he told Bella to act compelled, and stay silent.

"She smells familiar. May I come closer? I promise, she's yours," James said. Bella squeezed Edward's hand twice, hoping he would realize she wanted him to get closer to her. If she could find a way to touch him, perhaps she could find out more about him. She needed every piece of information available so she could track him later and murder him. She wouldn't stand a chance against him at the moment, obviously, so Bella needed to form a plan. Edward acquiesced, and the man sauntered towards her with a small smile. When he got close enough, he sniffed the air once more before leaning into her, smelling her hair. Bella tried not to tremble at his proximity. She swayed just slightly, allowing her forearm to brush against his. She left it there for a mere two seconds, but it was long enough to see him more clearly. "I thought I might've run across her before, but I was mistaken. We'll be going now. Enjoy your snack. She smells…mouthwatering."

The trio left as quickly as they came, and Edward and Jasper didn't relax until they were nearly a mile away.

"That was him, Edward," Bella said urgently. He looked at her with furrowed brows, unsure what she was talking about. "The vampire who killed my mother, that was him - James! I recognized him, and when he got closer, I touched his arm. He said he didn't know me, but he was lying – he thought I smelled just like her. My mother. He saw her face in his mind. That was the sick bastard that…he took…he ruined my life. Turned me into a zombie. Brought me here, made me into this."

Bella's words fell from her lips in a rushed ramble, nothing quite making sense in her mind. She released both Edward and Alice's hands, needing a break from other's minds, and put her hands over her ears. She dropped to her knees.

"I could've been normal. I could've had a normal life, but instead I'm…I'm this," she said as she leaned towards the newly grown grass. Edward sat beside her, making sure to not touch her skin as he tried to comfort her.

"Bella, there's nothing wrong with who are you. I love you, just as you are now. There's nothing wrong with you," he tried to tell her.

"We have to kill him. Can we follow them? You can track them, right? Let's follow them and…he has to pay."

"We can't just chase after them. We're outnumbered, for one, and even if I could go after him, you can't. I won't let you get hurt."

"There has to be something we can do! After six years, I see him, he's right fucking here and you won't go after him? Don't you care at all? I dream about him every night, I see his face when I shut my eyes and for years I thought he was going to come after me – doesn't that mean anything to you?"

Bella knew she was bordering on hysterical, but she couldn't stop. Edward stood suddenly, kicking violently at a large rock sitting by the cabin and sending it flying into the woods.

"Of course it fecking means something to me! He broke you because he's a selfish bastard that couldn't control himself! He stole your childhood, your innocence, your mother – I care! I care so fecking much it hurts! I shouldn't feel this way over a human. I shouldn't feel this way at all, but I do, and I want to help you. I want to kill him, too, but I can't just go chasing after him. It's suicide! I don't want him to live, but I'm too selfish to let myself die over it, because I want a future with you. Would you have me get killed over it? If you tell me you would, I'll go right now. Just tell me what you want! Do you want him to die enough that you'd be willing to let me go? When you told me you loved me, did you mean it? Just tell me, Bella. Just say it!"

Edward stood before her, his eyes glowing like they had the first days she met him, throwing his arms around as he spoke agitatedly, pacing back and forth in front of her. His accent was suddenly so thick she could barely understand him. She'd never seen him look that way before – like a taut wire about to snap. She felt ashamed of herself for insinuating that Edward didn't care about what happened to her mother, or that he should go on a suicide mission. As much as she hated the man who murdered her mother, and wanted to seek vengeance, she wouldn't part with Edward to get it.

"No, I would never give you up for that. I promise. I'm sorry, I'm just…I'm so…I don't even know, I feel like I'm losing my mind. Please, just…tell me we can figure something out. Give me anything. I can't…feel this hopeless, I can't," she said, her voice quieting to a whisper. Edward knelt beside her and wrapped her up in his arms. The two sat silently until the moon was overhead. Edward carried Bella to bed, tucking her in and curling up next to her. She looked so young and afraid, her eyes caked with panic and her skin too pale. He kissed the inches of her he could find exposed and stroked her hair. She finally fell asleep, clenching a fist in Edward's shirt as she imagined finally killing the man that ruined her life.

xXx

The sobering event from the previous night weighed heavily on everyone's minds as they traveled back to Forks. Bella was glad to finally have seen the vampire that killed her mother, but at the same time, she hated that he'd ruined such a perfect trip. She and Edward had a glorious few days and nights together, but his appearance managed to but a damper on everything. Bella couldn't concentrate on anything except finding him, fantasizing about killing him. Edward was distracted, afraid that Bella would do something rash. They held hands in the car as the miles passed by in silence.

"How can a vampire be killed?" Bella couldn't believe she'd never asked Edward that question. It was something she'd wondered for far too long.

"Well…there's only one way to completely kill a vampire, and that's by burning them," Edward explained. His memories flashed to the one, and only time, he'd ever seen a vampire executed. His sire had killed a rogue vampire who was recklessly killing, threatening exposure. Edward watched him rip the man limb from limb and torch him. He still remembered the thick smell that seemed to stay in his nose for days after. Bella gasped as she watched the vision play from Edward's mind.

"So wooden stakes? Holy water? Crucifixes?"

"A wooden stake wouldn't be able to pierce our skin. Holy water feels just like any other kind of water, and a crucifix…well, as you know, I've been around a number of them when I'm with you," he said with a small smile. He remembered tracing the soft skin of her back, feeling the minute ridges left by her tattoos. Even though her markings were designed to ward off his very kind, he had to admit to himself he found it sexy for her to have such a secret just under her clothes.

"Wow…so all this time, I've thought I could actually…do something," she said in a defeated tone.

"Well, you do know a few things. Silver, for instance, can incapacitate us. If you have a real silver chain, or anything like that, it steals our strength. Then you could set the vampire on fire," he told her.

"So, a silver bullet, blessed by a priest…"

"Whether it's blessed or not, it'd hurt like a bitch. If you shot me, I'd go down," he told her. She looked at him worriedly.

"You know I would never do anything to hurt you, right? I love you. I mean it," she told him, suddenly paranoid that he would go back to thinking she was using him. He kissed the top of her hand, trailing around to the underside of her wrist.

"Of course I know that. I believe that you love me," he told her, watching relief wash over her features. He wished he could take her burden from her; he wanted to strip her mind of the awful memories she has, go on a revenge mission, and take out the man that hurt her. He wanted to help her more than he was able to.

"So I wasn't completely off base, I guess, about vampire defenses."

"No, not completely. I'll…I'll do what I can, Bella, but I'm not a tracker. I don't have any special talents or gifts that could help me find him. I can only tell my family about him, and hope that we meet him again. It would be an easy fight with Emmett on my side. Maybe they'll show up in Washington at some point, since we told them that's where we live. But I cannot, I repeat, cannot let you get anywhere near him again. I know you want revenge, but you're far too precious and breakable to put you in danger like that. Promise me, whatever happens, you'll let me take care of him," he told her. She felt the depth of his plea as he spoke. Though he tried to hide it, he was terrified that something would happen to her, and take her away from him. She searched his eyes, wanting to argue, but knowing she couldn't in good conscience. She wouldn't stand a chance against a vampire, and she trusted that Edward would do everything he could for her.

"I promise," she told him. The two fell back into a more comfortable quiet, and Edward turned the radio on. The oldies station they listened to before was still on, filling the car with sounds of the Guess Who, Elvis, and the Righteous Brothers. Bella played the night before over and over in her mind, before finally making a possible connection.

"Do you think that Alice could've known that those other vampires were going to show up?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, like I said last night, it was like she was anticipating something bad…do you think it's possible that she knew?"

"Do I think it's possible that Alice is psychic?" Bella nodded. "I don't know. I mean…it is possible. No one could've ever known, obviously, since she can't communicate."

"Do you know much about her human life?"

"Well…Jasper found her outside of a hospital at first. She wasn't working there, so she might've been visiting someone, or a patient that was released. I don't know much more than that," he told her.

"Do you think that a human can have a gift, and then it intensifies when they're changed to a vampire? Like, if I became a vampire, I'd probably still have my ability, but maybe it would be even stronger?"

"I don't know. I honestly haven't given that much thought, but we can discuss it with Carlisle, if you wish. He's been around much longer than I have," he explained. He knew Bella could see the direction his thoughts had gone – he was envisioning her as a strong creature alongside him, equal. He simultaneously felt disgusted with himself for wanting that – wanting Bella forever, as he was.

"Hon, there's nothing wrong with wanting," Bella told him softly, pulling him from his thoughts. He didn't want to look at her. He was afraid to.

"I just…I wouldn't…."

"It's understandable. It's just like I would imagine you as a human…I'm sure it would be easier on both of us," she told him. Edward then pictured himself, a little older, wrinkles around his eyes and gray in his hair, pushing two small brown-haired, green-eyed children on a swing set, as Bella looked on with a smile. He shook the image from his head as it brought forth a rush of sorrow that he couldn't handle. It hurt too much to think of the perfect life they could've had, the one they would never have – the one he could never give her. He released her hand so he could rub soothing circles on his own chest, right where his heart lay, where it was currently aching to the point of distraction. He hadn't thought of what she was giving up to be with him. What he was costing her.

Bella, too, felt the acute sting of seeing the impossible perfect future they wouldn't get. She didn't want to think of what she couldn't have. Looking at Edward's twisted face, the way his eyes were darkened suddenly, his nose scrunched and his brow furrowed like trying to deal with the pain of having a bone set, she steadied herself to try to comfort him.

She turned in her seat to face him, slipping her hand under his and massaging his chest lovingly. "Shhh," she told him. Her other hand lifted to his hair, lightly scraping his scalp, and she leaned her head on his shoulder, kissing the fabric-covered area once. Edward wanted to cry but was unable. He wanted to hurt someone, but he couldn't. He wanted to be different, not himself, but a regular, clumsy human. He wanted too much.

Bella stayed close to him, her hands shifting so she clung to his bicep as she nuzzled into the crook of his neck. They stopped to fill up the gas tank, and Bella kissed him sweetly before getting out of the car. While she tried to give him some privacy, at times, the things that flashed through his mind scared her. He imagined what Bella could have if he left. He tried to picture the life she could lead if only she wasn't tied down to him. He thought of the things he could say to her to make her not love him. It was heartbreaking to hear him try to work out a way to leave her so that she could live a regular life.

After Edward got the pump set up, he leaned back against the car, watching Bella as she approached. She stepped right up to him, her legs between his, and wiggled into his embrace. She sighed.

"Promise me you won't leave," she said. She felt him tense up, not realizing, yet again, that she'd heard everything he'd been considering. "That's what matters to me. You. Promise me."

She looked up at him and waited for him to meet her eyes. He finally gazed down at the woman he loved, and pushed a stray piece of hair out of her eyes.

"Even if it's not best for you?"

"Even if it's the worst for me. I want you. I choose you. Not any other life I could've led. It's too late. Everything that's happened to me brought me to this moment, to you, Edward. Everything. Let me have you. Let me keep you."

The stubborn resolve he'd tried to cling to broke down right before her eyes. He gripped her tightly, knowing it would've killed him to let her go. He wanted to do what was best for her, and give her all of the opportunities she deserved, but what he really wanted, all he wanted, was her.

"I promise I won't leave. Even if it kills us both," he told her. She nodded against his chest, then kissed a trail up his throat until she met his lips. They kissed a bit too passionately for midday at a gas station, but neither could resist. In that moment, all they had was each other.

It was possible that, for eternity, all they'd ever have would be each other.

* * *

**Questions? I have answers. Twitter (at) ginginleelee**


	10. Chapter 10: Doing Is Believing

**Hiya! Are you all thirsty? I've got some lemonade here, just in case. **

**Thanks to my beta, anythingzombie, for getting this to me so quickly.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Song rec: "Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones (why not?)**

* * *

Bella spent the last days of her Spring Break trying to relax and temporarily forget about James. He managed to seep into her thoughts even more than he'd already been, and she hated it. There was nothing she could do, and Edward's family was unable to follow him. They would wait, hoping for him to show, and they would seek revenge on her behalf, but Bella felt useless. She took a day trip to meet with her advisor on Friday, and planned on using the weekend to soak up more time with Edward, and prepare for her Monday class.

She was going to start teaching lessons twice a week for Angela, and though she was nervous, she also felt that she was adequately prepared. She still got nervous speaking in front of people, even teenagers, but she was intelligent and strong. She only hoped that Edward wouldn't be able to get her too flustered.

After what felt like an Edward overdose, she got ready Monday morning in a hurry, trying to get into the classroom early to get everything together. As she slipped her black flats on, her phone rang. She saw Angela's number pop up, and answered quickly.

"Hey, Bella," Angela said hoarsely.

"Angela! What's up?"

"I'm so sick, Bella. I've called the school and they're going to have a sub, but I told them you're teaching the lesson anyway. You'll just have someone else there in case you need any help. I'll probably be out tomorrow, too, so I thought maybe you could," Angela said, breaking off to cough loudly, "teach tomorrow, as well?"

"Um, sure, that's fine. I can teach for as long as you need me. So, I'll have a substitute with me, then?"

"Yeah, just for moral support, really. I'm sorry to spring this on you last minute. I started feeling shitty over the weekend, and I hoped I'd get better, but," Angela said, and Bella could hear her labored breaths over the line.

"No, don't be silly! Just rest and get better, okay? Thanks for letting me know, Ang," Bella told her sincerely. The two said their goodbyes, and Bella ran downstairs and grabbed her bags to run out the door. She paused, really wanting breakfast, but not willing to sacrifice the prep time she would definitely need at school.

She hurried from her new car towards the side entrance of the school, glancing up and catching Edward's eye as he watched her. He stood by his car, not listening to Emmett and Rosalie speaking, his eyes fixed on her. He smiled but looked concerned. He could tell that Bella was flustered, and while he wanted to go to her, help her and kiss her, he knew he couldn't.

Bella unlocked the classroom door, and threw her things onto the desk in the dark. Her hands were too full to reach for the light, and as she tried to keep her papers from sliding to the floor, the overhead fluorescents began to flicker. She turned and saw a tall, broad-shouldered man standing in the doorway, smiling at her widely. Bella heard the 'whoosh' of her things hitting the floor, so she whirled around to gather them quickly before speaking to the mystery man, presumably, the substitute.

She felt his presence looming over her before she saw his large hands reach for some of her papers. She chanced one more glance up at him, noting his dark skin, and nodded at him.

"Thanks. I'm guessing you're the sub?"

"You're correct, Bella," he said conversationally. She looked up at him, surprised he called her that, and the edges of her memory began to tug as she vaguely recognized him.

"Do we – do we know each other?"

"I will try not to be offended at your terrible memory…let's see, do fishing trips and bonfires mean anything to you?"

"Jake! Oh my God, you look so different! You cut your hair," she said, looking at the short, styled black locks atop his head – much different from the shoulder blade length ponytail of his youth.

"Yeah, well, I'm a college graduate now, and my advisor told me it might make it a little easier to get jobs," he said as they both stood, their arms full of folders.

"Wow, when'd you finish up?"

"December. I'm spending some time with my Dad this semester and summer, then I'll be moving to Seattle to teach," he explained. Bella racked her brain, certain that Jake was a year younger than her.

"Wait – you graduated in December? Weren't you a year behind me?"

"I was, but I got some college credits taken care of in high school, and finished undergrad in three years," he explained. Bella sat her papers down and looked up at his towering frame.

"That's great, Jake! Congratulations!" Jake surprised Bella by grabbing her and giving her a tight hug. Bella patted his back awkwardly, and turned to write on the dry-erase board. She heard a throat clear and she turned to see Emmett looking at her questioningly as he and Rose entered the classroom. The couple both froze mid-step, their nostrils flaring as their eyes shot to Jake. He stood still, as well, his jaw clenched and his eyes darting towards the corner where Emmett and Rose were standing. He tried to stay calm and not alert Bella to anything being atypical, but she placed a hand on his arm as she asked what was wrong. She could feel him trembling beneath the skin, like an electric current was buzzing.

Rose stepped forward quickly, holding a hand out towards her as she spoke. "Ms. Swan, don't."

Bella looked at Rose's frantic eyes, unsure why she seemed so worried, and Jake looked at her and shook his head. "Bella, stay right there."

The two vampires kept their eyes locked on the substitute teacher for a few moments more. Rose and Emmett began to back away, back out of the room.

"We never came in, okay? We weren't here," Rose informed Bella, who furrowed her brow in response. Jake didn't relax until they were out of sight, and he sighed in relief. He looked at Bella and shrugged.

"I can't…I can't explain, really…I would if I could," he told her, then busied himself with trying to get the roll call together. Bella wanted to demand that he tell her what happened. She wanted to go after Rose or maybe call Edward.

Edward. Would he leave, too? She needed to know. She told Jake that she was going to run to the restroom and would be right back. She made it to the side door and looked out, seeing Edward by his Volvo talking to Rose as she and Emmett approached. He saw her across the parking lot, and tried to smile. He held his phone up and shook it gently, signaling that he would contact her. She patted her pockets, remembering that her cell was still in her purse. She nodded and mouthed, "I love you," certain that he could see her lips moving. "Ditto," he mouthed back.

Bella returned to her classroom, stealthily checking her phone before the students were all seated. She had one text from Edward.

- _Be careful today. I'll be at your house when you get home. I'll explain._

Bella was able to breathe a little easier, and tried her best to focus on the lesson she was teaching. Jake merely sat and watched, giving Bella pointers after each class. He'd done his student teaching in the fall, and wanted to help Bella learn the ropes. He sat with her during lunch, and walked her to her car at the end of the day. As much as she enjoyed being around Jake again, after so many years, she was ready to get home and see Edward. She missed his heavy gaze during sixth period, and she was also ready for an explanation of the morning scenario. Jake seemed to be trying to act overly natural, covering up for the bizarre performance he put on that morning, and Bella was growing weary of it.

He finally wished her a goodbye as she started to shut the car door while he was still talking. She would most likely be seeing him the next day, as well, if Angela were still sick.

Bella sped home, glad that her father wasn't there yet, and rushed up to her room upon seeing the downstairs empty. Edward was seated in the rocking chair and she ran directly up to him, plopping down on his lap and hugging him.

"I missed you today," she said, not noticing at first that he was pulling away from her, averting his entire face from her. He felt fidgety under her body, so she looked up and saw that he wasn't breathing, and was barely touching her. "What? What's wrong?"

A thousand worries flashed through her mind, the foremost being that he was going to leave her, like he had thought about before. She hungrily grabbed his hand to see into his mind, but all he was thinking was that she smelled terrible. Embarrassed, she hopped up, conspicuously sniffing her shirt and hair. Edward looked at her with an eyebrow raised before realizing she thought she smelled bad.

"Bella, it's not you…it's…that dog you were teaching with," Edward said through clenched teeth.

"What? Jake? What the hell happened this morning?"

"Jacob Black is a werewolf – a Quileute descendant with a gene triggered by vampires being in the vicinity. When vampires are in the area, parts of the Quileute with the gene begin to phase into wolves to protect their land. Carlisle went to the boundary line earlier, making sure that the treaty he signed forty years ago was still in tact," Edward explained.

"A treaty?"

"Yes. Jacob's grandfather was the tribe's chief at the time, and they agreed to not harm Carlisle's coven, as long as none of us hunted humans. Of course, I wasn't with them at the time, so it was easy to convince them that the coven was strictly feeding on animals. The good news is the treaty is in tact, so the wolves can't hurt us. We just have to stay off of their land."

"But…they can come here?"

"Yes, they have free reign. They're the right kind of monster, you could say. Protecting human life. We're the abominable ones."

"So…you being here cause the locals to turn into wolves? And Jake is a wolf? So when he faced off against Rose and Em this morning, they left because they didn't know if the treaty still stood?"

"Yes."

"So, if it is still standing, then why did Rose and Jake both seem to freak out over me being there?"

"Because the wolves still naturally don't trust us, and we don't trust them. Wolves are dangerous. They could phase at any moment, hurting or killing anyone who may be standing too close. Rose was afraid for your safety, as was Jake," Edward told her. "We won't be at school as long as he's subbing there. We don't want to incite anything."

"Oh. That's…too bad," Bella said, trying her best not to pout like a child.

"But, I'll be here, I promise," Edward said as he stood to approach her. "But you must take a shower first."

"I don't smell anything!"

"I know you don't, but to us…the wolves smell absolutely repugnant, and I can smell him all over you. Did he touch you?"

"He hugged me. I've known him since we were children."

"Ah. I see. Well, then," Edward said, his eyes flashing with something Bella wanted to investigate. She stretched her arm out to grab his hand, jealousy sizzling within him. She smiled gently.

"You have nothing to worry about, hon. I love you," she said. "And I'll go shower now. You wait here."

Edward nodded his agreement and flopped onto her bed, his weight making the frame shake. He closed his eyes as he waited, his mind wandering back to some of their exchanges during their trip. He remembered feeling the curve of Bella's hip as she lay next to him, and kissing the back of her neck. He willed himself not to get too aroused, as he was planning to stay for several hours, but Bella inadvertently conspired against him.

"I forgot to grab clothes," she said apologetically as she entered the room, draped only in a towel. The bare skin of her shoulders and thighs called to him, requiring restraint he wasn't sure he had. His eyelids drooped as he took in every exposed inch. Like a magnet, she walked towards him, almost unthinkingly. His eyes were pulling her to him, like he was controlling her mind. She stood by the edge of the bed, her memory hazy as to how she got there, and Edward laid frozen as he stared at her.

Slowly, so slowly he felt like he wasn't moving at all, his fingertips grazed the front of her thigh, tracing a pattern around the outer side to the back. He paused there, shutting his eyes again as his fingers moved slowly north, not stopping until they hit the curve of her ass. He groaned audibly, his senses almost overloaded. He could feel the warmth of her skin, still wet from the shower, and she was trembling. He could smell her arousal, uninhibited beneath her towel, calling to him, beckoning his hand to move only inches, his face to lean in only inches, and sample her.

Bella felt more turned on than she ever had. Alec had never come close to making her feel that wanted, that heated, that horny. The feel of Edward's cold fingertips, coupled with his sex-ridden groan, and the electricity in the air, was almost too much for her. They both stayed still, unsure what to do. Bella wanted to climb on top of him, straddling and rubbing and satiating, but she was nearly positive that Edward couldn't handle it. The thoughts she was getting from him were foggy, weighed down with lust and desire. He was slowly imagining the things he could do to her, and it doubled her want to see his fantasies.

She held a pair of panties clutched in her right hand, the only item retrieved before her feet carried her towards Edward, and she considered pulling them on to give them a bit of control. She watched Edward swallow thickly, his eyes closed still, and decided. She stooped slightly, stepping into the pair of modest, light pink underwear, and slid them up her body. Edward moved his fingers to allow her to pull them all the way up, he eyes sliding open as he raised his head to her face. His hand returned to the back of her thigh, this time his entire palm cupping her skin, pulling her closer.

"Bella, I want…" he trailed off. He imagined pulling her towel from her body. "Can I…."

"Yes," she said softly, answering his unfinished question. His free hand tugged at the top of her towel, where it was folded and tucked in, until it fell apart, exposing her before him for the first time. Edward's eyes were hungry on her body as he took in the soft planes of her stomach, the little curves and grooves and pouches, up to her small, but full breasts. Easily the loveliest ones he'd ever seen. Her hair was dripping wet down her body, creating the image of every teenage boys' wet dreams, and he sat up. She stood in between his knees, her eyes closing as he let both of his hands traverse the expanse of skin before him.

Eventually, his cold lips followed his fingers and he kissed her all over. He chastely kissed both of her nipples before returning lower and dragging his cold tongue across her. She shivered and moaned as he licked her abdomen, moving higher and higher until he tasted every inch of her breasts, his hands kneading her backside. Bella felt a throbbing between her legs, and as a slow burn built, she realized she was going to come from just his kisses and his licks. Her breathing sped, and Edward knew what was coming.

He moved his mouth to her belly button, then lower, his nose tracing the skin above her panties before kissing and licking it as well. He was so close to her, so close to where he wanted to be, and he could smell her impending orgasm. He let his fingers dip beneath the fabric of her underwear as his tongue did the same at the waistband. The mixture of his fingers on her ass and his tongue just above her pubic bone sent her over the edge. Her knees started to buckle, but Edward held her up, unable to stop himself from pressing his nose into her fabric-covered center, feeling her pulsing minutely against him. He opened his mouth slightly, placing his lips onto the wet fabric and tasted her, just barely, just enough, and the sensation of his cold mouth on her made her orgasm last for what felt like minutes.

"Fuck," she said as she finally began to come back down, Edward's mouth still on her, her legs shaking violently as she stood. He pulled back enough to look up at her, his face still filled with need, and he leaned back onto the bed pulling her with him. Bella lay prone on top of him, her bare breasts smashed against his chest, and she could see in his mind that he wasn't struggling with bloodlust at the moment. She kissed him languidly, her entire body relaxed from her climax, and she wanted to be able to please Edward in the same way. She sat up, straddling him, and pulled at his shirt. He sat up enough to take it off, and Bella marveled at the smooth skin, tight with muscle, feeling perfect beneath her fingers. She leaned down, kissing down his sternum, when a knock at the front door got her attention. She looked up at Edward and smiled. "They'll go away."

Unfortunately, the knocking became more persistent, and Bella couldn't focus. Edward was clearly aroused, hard and straining beneath her, but she needed to get rid of the visitor before she could focus on her task.

"You can get the door," he told her. "We can continue this another time."

"I want to do this now, though. I don't want you to be…left…unsatisfied," she said shyly.

"Oh, believe me, after what we just did – what I did to you – I am not even on the same planet as 'unsatisfied.' I promise. What if…um…what if you get dressed, go get the door, and start on dinner, and I could…um…."

"What?" Bella was surprised to see him struggling for words, and embarrassment was rolling off of his skin. She caught an image of what he was suggesting, and Bella blushed for him. "Oh. Of course. That would be fine, Edward."

He ran his hands up her torso one last time, watching her lift off of him and head to her dresser. The person at the front door was still knocking, strangely persistent. Edward didn't watch her get dressed, so he didn't see that she changed her underwear. Something was placed into his hand, and as he looked down at the damp fabric, he realized she was giving him the panties she'd been wearing, the ones now drenched in sex. He nearly came just clenching them in his fist. He saw Bella grin slyly at him, waving as she sauntered out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Fortunately, for Edward, his vampire speed allowed him to have his pants off before she reached the stairs, dick in hand before she descended the first step, and her panties held to his nose before her second step. He pumped vigorously, though unnecessarily, as he was already so close, the smell of her juices sending him over the edge. He came violently, biting her panties, tasting her on them, before she'd reached the bottom of the stairs. Thankfully for him, he secreted no liquids, and had no mess to clean up. He lay there, regaining composure, as he heard her open the door.

The voice that answered her caused Edward to jump off of the bed, get dressed, and stand at the door listening within two seconds.

"I thought I'd stop by and see if you wanted to come to dinner with me," Jake was saying. Bella stuttered a bit before forming a reply.

"Well, um, I usually cook for my dad, and he'll be here soon, so –"

"Great! I'll help you cook and stay for dinner, if you don't mind. I'd love to see Charlie," Jake said, walking into her house before she invited him in. Edward wanted to run down the stairs and push Jacob back outside, but he resisted. Bella wished Jake would just leave – she wanted to get back upstairs to Edward, but she also wasn't good at being rude.

"Um, uh, well…I guess that's okay," she told him. She led him into the kitchen, grabbing the items to make a simple stir-fry, as Jake chattered at her. She was unsure what game he was playing at, until he innocently touched her arm, letting her see directly into his mind.

He smelled vampires in her house, and on her person. He thought she smelled like sex, but also heavy with vampire. He was suspicious about her involvement with the Cullens, and also worried for her safety. He wanted to know what she knew, and whom she was fucking. He had no plans on leaving her alone.

Bella made an excuse to run up to her room, hoping to find Edward there, but he was gone. She turned to go back downstairs, and nearly running into Jake as he loomed behind her.

"Come on, we don't want the food to stick," she said, pushing his arm once more to see his thoughts. He smelled Edward there, so strong he had to fight to control himself, and Bella began to get afraid. What if Jake phased and hurt her? Edward would surely come after Jake, and then a war would be started. And was Edward mad at her? Did he think she invited Jake over? Would he come back later?

Edward sat on Bella's roof, facing the forest, counting the seconds until Jacob left. 7,347 seconds after he arrived, Jacob finally got the hint and left. Bella had barely been cordial to him all evening, never humoring him by feigning interest, and repeatedly mentioning how much work she had to do. Edward was glad that she seemed so annoyed with Jacob, but he was worried about what his plan was.

Edward heard Bella climbing the stairs after speaking shortly with her father, so he slipped back through her window to wait for her. She was relieved to see him sitting on her bed, and she grabbed him quickly. She held him to her, his face pressed into her chest, and Edward asked if she knew what Jacob was up to.

"He smelled you on me. He followed me up here, and almost phased right in my room after smelling you," Bella said quietly into his hair. She heard the question in his mind, so she answered aloud. "I touched his arm so I would know what he was thinking."

Edward was appeased. "So, what's he going to do?"

"I don't know for sure. He's going to be sticking close to me, I think. He wants to know what vampire I'm fucking."

Edward pulled back and looked up at her. "What?"

"He could smell sex on me, and you, so he put two and two together."

Edward was a bit appalled, but extremely pleased. He was glad that the dog knew that Bella was taken, claimed by him. She laughed at his possessive thoughts.

"You're so ridiculous – practically a Neanderthal! You're actually happy that he could tell we'd – well, that you'd – that I had – oh you know what I mean!"

Edward laughed and kissed her collarbones.

"Speaking of which, did you…."

"Yes, I did. I'd finished before you even opened the door. I think I'll keep the underwear, too," Edward said in a low voice. "I want you, Bella. We can't…make love, yet, but I want to experience you like that as often as possible. I need you."

"I know. I feel the same. So, you don't think you're ready to…go all the way?" She felt a little childish for using that phrase, but she wasn't sure what else to say.

"I think we should wait a little longer. Until my control is even better."

"You were so controlled today. It didn't even cross your mind to bite me," Bella pointed out.

"I know, but…it will be very intense for me to…be inside of you for the first time. Believe me, I don't want to wait, but it's for the best."

Bella nodded her agreement, kissing him softly before sitting down next to him. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

They sat silently for a while, but Bella saw in his mind that he was thinking of ways, some humane, and some not, to get rid of Jake. Edward was convinced the Jacob had less than honorable intentions, and he'd be damned if he let the dog get in the way of his and Bella's future.

* * *

**Fine me on Twitter (at) ginginleelee**


	11. Chapter 11: Making It Count

**Hiya! So, here's the next chapter, and this one is going to propel us into the final act of this story. There's only four chapters left after this one, I'm sad to say.**

**This is unbeta'd, so the fault lies with me if there are mistakes.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

Jake substituted for Angela for the next three days. Angela had bronchitis and a bad sinus infection, so she was out longer than Bella had expected. This also meant extra time with Jake – he followed her around, literally, like a puppy dog, and kept coming over every night, trying to find ways to stay longer and longer. By the third night, when Bella huffed and puffed at Charlie for asking Jake to stay and watch the game, she grabbed her jacket and announced that she was going out.

Charlie looked perplexed that Bella was going somewhere at eight o'clock on a Thursday night, but he didn't ask. Jake looked pissed, but couldn't very well jump up and go with her when she didn't offer. Bella got into her car, and Edward appeared before she'd even shut her door, effectively causing a heart palpitation in her chest.

"Oh, shit! God, Edward, I mean, I wanted you to go with me, but you didn't have to – wow, that seriously scared me," she said, holding a hand to her throat as she calmed down.

"I can tell. I'm sorry, love," Edward said, reaching over and placing his cold hand under hers. The temperature of his skin helped relax her speeding heart, and Bella regained her faculties enough to drive. "So, where are we headed?"

"Your house?"

"Certainly."

Bella hadn't seen the rest of the Cullens since she and Edward returned from their trip, apart from the short sighting of Emmett and Rose Monday morning. When the couple pulled up to the Cullen house, Emmett ran outside and greeted her heartily, pulling her from the car and squeezing her in a bear hug.

"Ms. Swan! Long time, no see," he said. Rose laughed from behind him, waving hello at Bella. "So, it's been a busy week, huh? First, we find out we've got a vampire to kill, then a wolf shows up and becomes your shadow. What are we going to do with you?"

Bella smiled as Emmett sat her back on the ground, and the four of them headed inside. Bella saw Jasper and Alice as she entered the house and hugged both of them, feeling good when she saw Alice's yellow mind again, as it should be. Carlisle cleared his throat as he passed through, giving Bella warm smile, and Esme followed him, not glancing her way. Bella still hadn't cracked Esme – not that she was making an effort to – but it would make things easier if she wasn't so openly hostile.

"I'd really just like to confront Jake and ask him to back the feck off, but I'm afraid of what he'll do in retaliation," Edward commented as they all took seats in the living room.

"You could take him, bro," Emmett responded.

"I know that, but I don't want him going to Charlie or the school and getting Bella in trouble. I'm still her student for seven more weeks, remember?"

"And the dog would do something like that just to keep her away from you. Even if it hurt Bella in the process," Rose said, her eyes looking unfocused as she thought.

"Maybe Carlisle or I could say something?" Jasper offered.

"He knows it's Edward I'm seeing. He asked around and deduced that the only single vampire was Edward. He's wanted to test the theory all week, but since you haven't been at school he hasn't checked your scent."

"That ability of yours really comes in handy, doesn't it? Otherwise, we'd have no idea what this dick was up to," Emmett said.

"But, I still don't understand what he's trying to do. If he knows you're seeing Edward, he could've already come forward with the info – or at least tried to blackmail you, or something. What's he waiting for?" Rose looked suspicious.

"I think he wants a confrontation, so she's pushing his limits as far as he can. He wants Edward to snap. Of course, he also thinks Edward's controlling my mind and keeping me around to eventually snack on me, but, still, he thinks I don't know what Edward is. He thinks I've just been seduced by my vampire student and don't realize what's going on," Bella answered. Edward watched her closely, ever fearful that she'd change her mind about him one day. He didn't know what else to do but wait for her to realize he's not worth the trouble.

Unfortunately for him, as his hand was holding Bella's, she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Edward. You know that's not going to happen," Bella told him in a soft, but stern, voice. "I love you. I promise."

He could see the oath in her eyes, and knew that she meant it. She wanted him, and wanted to stay with him, no matter what. He would have to learn to let go of his insecurity and deal with their problems as they came along – instead of thinking up new, hypothetical ones.

After exhausting the topic of Jake, they moved on to James, and Emmett assured Bella that if the vampire came through the area, they'd take care of him – provoked or not. They considered her family, and they wouldn't let James' crime go unpunished, even if it was six years late. Bella and Edward finally headed back to her home around ten, and she was unenthused to see Jake's car still parked outside. Just as the pair started to exit her car, the front door opened. Edward disappeared before Bella could even comprehend what was happening.

Jake stepped onto the porch, calling a goodbye to Charlie as he shut the door. He walked up to Bella, a condescending look on his face.

"Where'd you go, Bells?" Bella almost winced as he used her father's nickname for her.

"To see some friends. Heading home?"

"Yep," Jake replied, his nostrils visibly flaring as he got closer to her. "Bella, I just want…I just want to say…you need to be careful. You could get into a lot of trouble."

"I don't know what you mean," Bella told him, trying to keep her cool.

"Yes, you do. If the school found out – or Charlie – you'd be fired. You'd never teach. I'm not saying I'm going to report you, but…I just wanted to warn you that you're not fooling everyone."

"Jake…I think we both know what's really going on here," Bella said simply, enjoying the way Jake's eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure out what she meant.

"I'm not sure I follow."

"You've always had a crush on me, since we were little. You're jealous. It happens. But following me around and making idle threats won't make me choose you," Bella said. She watched as anger filled his face. She hoped her little show would distract him, maybe buy her a little space if he was mad at her.

"You have no idea what you're talking about, Bella," he spat. "Don't presume you know what's going on here, okay? You don't fucking know a thing."

Bella could see that Jake was coming unhinged. His body was trembling, and a flash of movement caught her eye. Edward was at the corner of the house, clearly worried about Jake's stability, and ready to pounce. While she'd intended for Jake to feel embarrassed and leave, she'd managed to incite him, and now she had an angry werewolf to deal with. She watched as he tried to reign himself in, and she sighed.

"Fine, fine. Jake. Listen. No more bullshit. I'm not a child. I'm not your responsibility. I know exactly what's going on. I know what you are. I know what he is. And it's my decision. So, back the fuck off."

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me. I know. And it's my choice. So, leave," Bella said, her face hardening as she looked at him.

"You're an idiot. This is what they do. They control your mind, make you think things are good when they're not. You'll die. Don't be stupid. Don't be so naïve."

"I'm not being stupid. I know a hell of a lot more than you."

"Evidently, you don't, or you wouldn't let him in your room. You wouldn't let him touch you. Do you know what they do, Bella? They fuck and then kill - it's in their nature. It's a game. Pursue and conquer. You're just a fucking piece to play with," Jake told her, his muscles still quivering. "That's all you're ever going to be. You're gambling with your life here, just for a thrill."

"I told you to leave. I know what I'm doing. So, go."

"You don't know –"

"I believe she told you to leave. Twice," a voice said from behind Jake's back. Bella didn't know if she should feel relieved that Edward stepped in, or brace herself for a fight.

"_Bloodsucker_," Jake said as he inhaled roughly. He barely turned his head to look at Edward before taking off into the woods neighboring Bella's home, disappearing before their eyes.

After Jake was out of sight, Bella realized how frightened she'd actually been. Her adrenaline began to leave her system, causing her head to feel light and her limbs to feel limp. She wanted to get inside before she passed out. Edward helped her to the door before heading up to her room through her window. Bella greeted Charlie momentarily, and then climbed the stairs shakily. Edward was at her door, waiting, and he picked her up and tucked her into bed with him immediately.

Nothing was said at first, as Bella tried to sort through what happened. Eventually, she started to calm, and she whispered into the dark silence. "Thank you."

"Of course. I wasn't sure you'd want my help, but I couldn't watch him stand so close to you, knowing he could phase and hurt you."

"I know. What happens now?"

"I have no idea. We'll have to wait and see. They can't attack, but…they could do other things to make living here unbearable. We'll just have to be ready," Edward explained. Bella nodded. She got up to get ready for bed, hurrying so she could slip back into the comforting cradle of Edward's arms, and try to get some sleep.

Bella's dreams were a jumble of wolves and Jake, along with memories that didn't belong to her – images coming from Edward's mind as he held her while she slept. She was sure he could think of anything as he touched her and it would infiltrate her dreams. After a confusing mixture of modern forests mingled with cobblestone and dirt streets of Chicago, Bella's dream turned decidedly sexual.

Edward didn't realize what he was doing as he fantasized while holding Bella to him. Without touching her, she began writhing and thrusting her hips, hitting his erection as he spooned her. He was getting too turned on, and contemplated getting out of the bed, but Bella woke up before he made a move.

Her words were slurred, but after he asked her to repeat them, he knew for certain she'd said, "Touch me, Edward."

He didn't hesitate.

His right hand slid up her nightshirt, pausing briefly on her hips before circling to her abdomen. She was still grinding her hips slightly, so as his hands slipped lower, under the sheer fabric covering her, she responded with a groan. She was already so worked up Edward had little to do, but a few swift touches brought her to her release as Edward rubbed himself against her ass for friction.

When Bella's breathing slowed, she turned in Edward's arms and snaked her hand down the front of his boxers. She gripped him quickly, roughly, and threw one leg over his hip. Her hands positioned him near her center, allowing his head to rub against her wet panties each time her hands pumped. Edward, at some point, bit Bella's pillow, but he managed to maintain eye contact with her as he came. Her lips dropped open as she watched the sweet relief cross his expression. She became perplexed quickly at the lack of fluids, but Edward's mind swiftly informed her of the reason. She nodded and scooted closer to him, pressing every line of her body against him, his dick still hanging out of his boxers, and her leg still thrown over his. The two were almost as close as two people can get.

Almost.

"That was all you, by the way," Bella said breathily.

"What was?"

"That whole performance. I began having a particularly scandalous dream involving you going down on me in the middle of a meadow, and I got so worked up I woke up. I'm pretty sure that was your fantasy you gave me," she told him.

"So…if I'm thinking about something while I'm touching you, and you're asleep, you might dream it?"

"Indeed. I guess you figured out how to get a middle-of-the-night delight, huh?"

"Indeed! I'll use that to my advantage more often," Edward teased. His hand slid comfortably down the back of her underwear, cupping her soft skin as she drifted back to sleep. He tried not to think of what had conspired between them too often, so Bella could sleep soundly, but it was hard to feel her body against his and not get excited. He stealthily tucked himself back into his boxers, hoping Little Edward wouldn't get any big ideas.

The day dawned brightly, sunshine abounding. Edward groaned.

"What's wrong?"

"It's sunny. I was going to go to school today since Mrs. Cheney was coming back. Now, I have to wait," he pouted.

"Ah, well, we'll make up for it this weekend. How about I get some glasses, put my hair in a bun, and find a tight pencil skirt to wear, and we'll play School? You can be the naughty student that has to stay after class for detention. I'll be the strict school teacher," Bella whispered in his ear, eliciting a shiver from the cold one.

"What did I get in trouble for?"

"For writing dirty notes. I caught you not paying attention, and when I took your paper, I found that you'd written out a very erotic little essay about me. I acted offended, but I had to cross my legs under my desk when I read it," she told him in a seductive voice.

"Oh, did you now? So you…liked my dirty little note?"

"Oh, I loved it. I might've taken it home with me and had a little…extra-curricular reading. My sheets have never seen so much action."

"Feckin' shite, Bella! You can't say that to me and expect me to stay a gentleman," Edward lamented, shutting his eyes and turning away from her, trying desperately to rid his mind of the unbidden images running rampant through it.

"I know," she said as she crawled on top of him, nibbling at his ear as she rested her legs on either side of him. She lowered her body slowly, watching Edward's hips respond of their own accord, lifting and seeking her as she got close.

Bella dropped her mouth to his, and their tongues tangled for a few passionate moments. Edward flipped her over and touched her everywhere before pulling away and inquiring how much time she had before she had to get ready.

"Um, uh – ah, ten minutes," Bella said as she tried to get her mind to work amidst the lusty haze that was currently clouding it.

"Perfect," Edward said as he pulled her panties down her thighs. He licked the expanse of both her inner thighs before settling into the place she wanted him most. He tasted and licked and sucked, reveling in having her spill onto his tongue as his fingers helped bring her to the edge. Edward was certain he would never tire of tasting her, but he knew she needed to get ready for work.

He also hoped that she'd carry that memory with her all day.

Bella heard Edward's hope and assured him that would be the case. "I doubt I'll ever get the image of your bed-head hair between my thighs out of my brain."

Edward smirked and finally told her goodbye, rushing home to take care of his own business when he arrived.

xXX

The weekend passed uneventfully; Jake didn't visit anymore, though both Bella and Edward were on guard for anything he might be planning. Bella didn't know if he would out her or not. Edward said he couldn't smell any traces of Jake in the vicinity of the school or her home, but that he was sure he wouldn't give up so easily. Emmett was prepared, as always, for a fight, and Rose tried to keep him grounded until they knew for sure that something was going to happen.

Unfortunately for Emmett, a fight never came. The next several weeks passed without disruption. Jake and the rest of the wolves stayed quiet. James didn't pass through town. School was coming to a close, making Bella and Edward giddy with the thought of not having to hide anymore. The two continued to enjoy the newly reached plateau of their physical intimacy, but hadn't yet sealed the deal. Edward knew he wanted to be totally in control, and another part of him, the old-fashioned, romantic part, wanted it to be really special when they finally gave themselves to each other.

It was easy for Bella to forget about her troubles when she had Edward sleeping in her bed each night, kissing her awake each morning, and telling her he loved her each day. Edward was long passed chiding himself for being a lovesick fool, and had moved on to embracing his pussy-whipped side, as Emmett called it. Bella was fitting in famously with his family – Jasper and Rose absolutely adored her – and he felt happier and more human than he ever had. He was beginning to think his happily ever after was coming true.

Bella announced that there was an event at her school she needed a date for coming up at the end of the semester, and she begged Edward to go with her.

"No one there will know you're my student…you'll just be the amazingly hot, only slightly younger man on my arm, making everyone else jealous," she told him. "Besides, if you can't go with me, I'd rather not go at all."

"But it's in honor of you! You have to go," he argued.

"Not just me, but all of the grads in my program. I don't need to be there; I just thought it would be fun for the two of us to do something like that together. A date, all dressed up, in Seattle for the night…or the weekend, if you like. We'll make a trip of it. I bet you look unbearably sexy in a tux," she said as she kissed his jaw. Edward was unable to resist as she kissed down his throat, stopping to bite at his collarbone.

"Fine. We'll go. But, damn it, you're dancing while we're there!"

"Deal," Bella said with a chaste kiss to his lips before twirling away from him and sashaying out of the room.

"I just got hosed, didn't I?" Edward grumbled loud enough for Bella to hear, and her laugh echoed down the hall to him.

xXx

Bella was feeling good. Really good. She was relaxed. She was happy.

She was ridiculously drunk.

Edward was laughing as he watched her sway around the hotel room, holding her glass up high and attempting a strip tease. She'd finished her exams. Her student teaching was complete. Graduation was barely a week away. And the two of them were in Seattle for a glorious three days. Bella was horny as fuck, and really, really wanted Edward to take her already, so she tried in her inebriated state to seduce him.

Edward's laughter tipped her off to the fact that she wasn't looking too sexy, and she gave up halfway through removing her shirt. She collapsed onto the bed, no pants on, one arm tangled in her sleeve, and her hair in disarray around her face.

Edward helped her undress and started tucking her into bed. He kissed down each of her appendages, lavishing extra attention once he returned to her stomach, and stroked her hair until she fell asleep. Once she was far gone, he slipped out, running dozens of miles until he could hunt well enough to sustain him through the next night.

After taking down three bucks and a small elk, he was stuffed. He took his time running back to the hotel room, imagining what he hoped to happen the next night.

Edward was ready. He was going to make love to Bella. She would really be his, and he would be hers. He couldn't wait for them to share that most intimate connection. He didn't know for sure when he'd stopped viewing the act as fucking, or even just having sex, but he knew it would be something so much bigger with Bella. He would be inside of her, connected to her, sharing and showing his love in the most effectual way possible. He could hardly wait.

His tux was rented and hanging on the bathroom door. Bella's dress was steamed and ready to go. She chose to do her hair and makeup herself, and was determined to tug the zipper on her dress up on her own, so she could surprise Edward when she was ready. She wore a dress that she'd owned for a while, but never had the chance to don before. As she yanked fruitlessly at the zipper on her back, she wondered when she stopped fitting a size six. After nearly dislocating her shoulder, she managed to get the dress zipped all the way, and she turned to examine herself in the mirror.

The dress was dark blue – almost black – and modest. It boasted a sweetheart neckline and thick straps, and was mermaid cut. It was obvious that her stomach and hips were attempting to bust through the seams, but she had to admit her cleavage had never looked better. As long as she didn't breathe too deeply – or eat – she should be fine for the night.

Bella turned towards the door and opened it slowly. Edward's back was to her, showcasing the way the tux fit his broad shoulders, and he turned to face her at her entrance. He literally staggered as he inhaled sharply, raking his eyes from head to toe and considering dropping to his knees and praying to her.

"You look…there aren't…words," he breathed. He took her hand and kissed it. Bella could literally see that he was speechless in his mind, his thoughts unfocused and moving too fast to catch. "Like an angel, I swear."

Bella blushed and looked down. "Thank you. The dress is uh, a little snug," she explained.

"I love it. You look unbelievable, Bella."

"You do, too. Black may be your color. And you look damn fine in a bowtie," Bella said cheekily, reaching up and tugging at the piece of fabric around his neck.

"Mmm, thank you. I hope to be stripping our bodies of these offending garments in, ah, approximately three hours and twenty minutes," he said, kissing her neck tenderly.

"Three hours and twenty minutes, huh?"

"Yes. Fifteen minutes of travel, either way, then just less than an hour of eating, an hour of schmoozing and drinking, and an hour of dancing."

"And what do you have planned once we remove these offending garments?"

Edward opted to let his mind show her as he licked the soft spot behind her ear. Bella trembled and clutched at the lapel of his jacket.

"Oh, God," she moaned. "You're ready?"

"I'm ready. I don't want to wait any longer," he told her.

"Then screw the ball, let's get to it," she half-joked.

"Well, I've got you in the dress, so I might as well show you off. You'll be, hands down, the most ravishing creature in the room. Easily."

"Ah, Edward."

"And then we'll come back, I'll undress you slowly, kiss and lick every inch of you, and then," he kissed her collarbone, "I'll make you come in my mouth," he moved to the swell of her breasts above her neckline, "before finally," he licked her cleavage hungrily, "I'll push inside of you, and take you, and you'll claim me forever. We'll be one."

Bella's knees started to give out, and she realized she'd stopped breathing. Edward's words, accompanied by his heavenly mouth on her, were causing her to come undone.

"You can't say that shit to me and expect me to behave all night," she said, echoing the words he'd said to her weeks before.

"I don't expect you to behave," he growled lowly before leading her towards the door. "I certainly won't be."

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**Any guesses as to what's next on their magical evening? Anyone?**

**Find me on Twitter (at) ginginleelee**


	12. Chapter 12: We Almost Made It

**Howdy, readers, new and old! A great number of you have signed onto this story over the past week, so welcome! I'm glad you're here.**

**This chapter is, again, unbeta'd - do forgive me.**

**I don't own Twilight. Warning: A bit of violence in this one.  
**

**Song rec: Jack Penate - "Pull My Heart Away"**

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The ball was held in a downtown hotel's ballroom, boasting a live band and lots and lots of good eats. Bella was surprised that the school had sprung for such a tasteful location. Edward found himself more than a little overwhelmed by the blood pumping throughout the room. He'd fed the night before, overindulging, but the room was full of excited, endorphin-filled young adults. Their heartbeats raised as they danced and kissed and celebrated their graduation, and Edward's throat didn't fail to let him know the students were ripe for the picking. He focused more on the skin of Bella's back, exposed by her pinned-up hair.

The top of her tattoo was revealed; the upper part of her cross and the phrase, _Carpe Noctem_, urged him to seize the night, and he couldn't help but want to listen. Edward intercepted a multitude of hungry glances from other males in the room. Bella was beautiful in normal circumstances, but zipped into a dress that could've been painted on, with cleavage bursting from the seams, along with a mysterious tattoo adorning her back, made her positively beguiling and irresistible.

Edward's hand sat possessively on her lower back, sometimes circling to her stomach, causing Bella to twitch as she tried to speak with her peers and professors. She'd introduced Edward throughout the night, with him giving his best cordial smile and murmured greeting before slipping back into aloofness. Bella knew he wasn't disinterested – he was just preoccupied. She'd already heard from his skin that the room made him thirsty, and he was almost distractingly jealous anytime he caught someone looking at her. He failed to realize that over half the room was filled with horny twenty-something girls all salivating over him.

He really did look dashing in his tux. He was all clean lines and crisp colors, each one complementing the other. He was a study of contrasts – black and white, bronze and emerald, ivory and ruby. His aesthetic of skin and hair and lips and fabric created a tapestry of sex and fantasy, of wonder and awe, and Edward didn't see it at all. He was the center of attention, the focus of everyone, and yet he was worried about covering Bella.

Oh, did she love him.

Edward managed to tempt her with small treats: champagne and hor d'oeuvres, his hand grazing dangerously low on her backside, and his quiet smiles. After schmoozing and boozing for a good while, Edward led her onto the dance floor, holding her a bit too close for public viewing, but neither cared. They were lost in some sort of bubble, or balloon – one in which they were older and fancy, established and happy, no worries about vampires or werewolves or being discovered. They were floating in their personal dream.

The band was quite good, filling the room with instrumental versions of songs both new and old, and Edward held onto Bella for as long as he could. The hour was approaching that he'd originally planned on leaving to take her back to their room and finally make love to her, but he decided to linger. They were both having a great time, laughing and kissing, and didn't want the magic to end just yet.

"You taste heavenly," Bella said, the champagne causing her to speak more poetically and loosely. "Like honey and sunshine and mmm sex."

"It's hard for me to tell you what you taste of; it's been too long since I tasted anything with a human tongue. To me, you taste like what I imagine strawberry preserves over vanilla ice cream tasted like, along with fresh air and humanity," he said against her lips. "And sex."

Bella laughed against his smirk. She felt the evidence of his arousal against her stomach, and the evidence of her own against the tiny swatch of fabric masquerading as underwear she had on. Breaking the perfect form Edward danced with, Bella shifted her arms underneath his tux jacket, circling his hard waist and playing with the buckle at the back of his vest. Edward didn't mind the breach in dancing protocol, so he took the opportunity to slip his fingers under one dress strap as his other hand wrapped around her back to grip her hip. He kept them moving rhythmically, their dance turning into something more akin to sensual standing dry humping, moving slowly in time with the beat.

It was becoming increasingly evident that they needed to take their show back to the privacy of their hotel room. Bella was almost out of her mind in a lusty trance as she held Edward close. She couldn't be held responsible for her actions when Edward was touching her like he was. His hand on her shoulder exposed some of the more intricate fantasies he held – the ones he wanted to start working out in the flesh that night.

"We should go," she told him.

"I know," he whispered back.

"I want you. I can't wait to have you."

"I know," he whispered again.

"I love you."

"I love you." Edward pulled back and their eyes met, matching expressions of adoration and desire and hunger and completion on their faces. The two would become one, and Edward knew he'd never be the same.

"I'll get the car," he told her, finally pulling back after kissing her neck softly.

"I'll wait on the landing for you. I could use the fresh air," she said with a smile. Edward nodded, and the two headed towards the exit to the foyer. A professor wishing to get in one final word stopped Bella, and so she waved Edward on. He smiled at her once more, his face softened in the dim light, looking more human than she'd ever seen him.

After Bella said her farewells, she headed to the main doors of the hotel, stepping out and looking around. Edward wasn't at the front yet, so Bella took advantage of the moment alone to get herself in check. She was trembling all over, excitement and nervousness coursing through her veins.

It might've been inevitable; it might've been destiny. It might've been a coincidence, a meeting of serendipity, a cocktail of time and place and fragrant blood. Bella didn't know. She was preoccupied with taking deep breaths and calming down as she imagined Edward finally taking her, so she didn't notice anyone approach – not that the someone would've made noise, anyway.

So as the man that ruined her life – stole her dreams – haunted her – approached, she didn't notice until it was too late.

James stood before her suddenly, an odd smile on his face. Bella was so surprised by his sudden appearance, his face entering her mental atmosphere like a car wreck, that she jumped back. Her heart tripled its rate, calling to James like a siren. His smile widened, and Bella watched his pupils dilate within his glowing irises, as he tried to compel her.

Bella was immediately defiant – there was no way she'd allow him to control her. She just had to wait long enough for Edward to return.

"I remember you. You're Edward's pet. Though, I can tell he was lying. He hasn't tasted you at all," James said, his eyes focusing on hers. "You'll come with me now, quietly. And I'll taste you."

Bella squirmed as his hand gripped hers in what almost looked like a romantic gesture. Her eyes darted around helplessly, praying that anyone would listen and send Edward quickly. James' temper flared, Bella saw in her mind, as he thought he was too weak to compel her. She could see that he was a mere two seconds away from trying again, so she had a decision to make.

Resist, and possibly be attacked, or killed, before Edward gets back, or pretend and go along with him, prolonging her life and giving Edward a shot at finding her. She saw a loose patch on the sleeve of James' denim jacket, and in a moment of inspiration, one moment of clarity, she snatched at it as though clawing to get away from him, effectively tearing the fabric loose.

"I said, come with me quietly so I can taste you. Walk," James said through gritted teeth. Bella stilled, trying her damndest to look compelled, and let her hand slip to her side. As Bella turned to walk beside of James, she dropped the patch, hoping it carried enough of both their scents to alert Edward to what happened.

Her slowly dying optimistic side kept watching for his car to appear around the corner, skidding towards them as leapt from the driver's side and dismembered the vampire at her side, but her hope faded. James led her around the corner of the hotel, passing the entrance to the parking garage.

Why couldn't they have used the valet? Why couldn't she have gone with him? Why'd that fucking professor have to stop her? The what-ifs ran rampant through Bella's mind as she thought of all the ways this could've been avoided. James still gripped her hand, and Bella searched his revolting mind in hopes of learning where he was taking her, and what he was going to do to her.

What she saw, instead, was that the redhead, Victoria, was instructed to capture Edward. Bella's mind flew through scenarios, all centered around the tidbits of information Edward had given her. She knew that he wasn't as fast and strong as he once was – a side effect of drinking only animal blood. She knew that he was weaker, easier to kill, and almost defenseless against a vampire filled with human blood. Bella was certain Victoria was just that. She feared the worst; she only hoped that if Edward did indeed…expire, so would she.

xXx

Edward's guard was down as he approached his car, but he was still a vampire. He still smelled another vampire in the air, he still sensed another's presence. Unfortunately, sensing it and stopping it were two different things.

By the time he acknowledged that he knew the scent, he was flat on his back. Two vampires stood over him – Victoria and Laurent, the ones he met in California. Laurent looked on impassively as Victoria squeezed Edward's throat to the point of rupture.

"See? I told you he'd be weak," Victoria said in a thick Spanish accent.

Edward's eyes flickered between the two faces, desperately trying to figure out a plan of attack, a weakness to exploit.

"It'll never work. Your girl is with James now, and you can't do a damn thing about it. You've let yourself go, you see, and even if you weren't outnumbered, you still wouldn't be able to take me or Laurent," Victoria explained. "We're much, much stronger than you. You'd better be good, or we'll have to kill you."

"What does James want with Bella?" Edward had a hard time forcing enough air through his esophagus to ask the question.

"Bella…what a beautiful name. James wanted her…so he tracked her. We've watched for months. We know you two are together – romantically – and it's obvious you have no intention of feeding from her. It's ludicrous, really, to frolic with a human like that. What if she got a paper cut, hmm? What then? Would you drink from her, or patch her up with a band-aid? You're pathetic," Victoria spat. "You gave up humans to be with her, and now you're too weak to protect her. You wouldn't stand a chance against any of us. So much for sacrificing for true love, eh?"

"Where is…he…taking –" Edward's remaining air supply was choked off, leaving him unable to question further. Though he didn't need to breathe to remain conscious, the loss of one of his most important senses – smell – was disconcerting. He wanted to pray, but at the moment, he wasn't sure what he would ask for.

To be released? For Bella to be released? For James to bring Bella to where he was? For him to find some additional superhuman strength to fight off the three vampires threatening the love of his life? For his family members to somehow, some way, find and help him?

As the thought crossed his mind, he thought of Alice. She probably knew something bad was going to happen, but only Bella had access to her mind. No one would know that Alice was prophesying Bella being taken – possibly tortured or killed – and no one would know to come help them. No one knew of their relationship outside of Edward's family. No one knew they were in Seattle at all. Bella could just disappear…Edward could disappear. They'd never get that fucking happy ending they both so wanted. Edward considered holding on to hope, but he couldn't. All he could envision was the worst-case scenario – Bella being tortured, drained, killed, and Edward left in one piece, doomed to roam the earth alone, always only missing his other half, his soul mate.

Edward wouldn't exist if Bella didn't, he decided. He would find a way to die.

His faculties returned to him as Laurent looked at his phone, and nodded to Victoria. Edward gasped, sniffing wildly in hopes of picking up Bella's scent, but there was nothing new.

"So…James has your girl. He's leading her away, as we speak. We'll leave you to…whatever the hell you're going to do now. James is long gone. You won't find him," Victoria warned. Laurent turned without a spare glance at Edward, and they were gone. The air was unnaturally still for one brief moment, before Edward disrupted it.

He snapped to his feet in a tenth of a second, and was out of the parking garage in one more, caring not about the possible humans bearing witness. Edward's head whipped frantically back and forth as he smelled and looked and wished desperately for something, anything, a clue…he walked towards the front entrance of the hotel, stopping when he smelled Bella's scent more strongly.

He looked at his feet, seeing an old peace sign patch lying on the ground. He picked it up, immediately smelling both Bella's and James scents, and wished that the wet air of Seattle had not hidden their trail from him. He wished he had something better, something other – a gift or talent to help him, but he was at a loss.

After searching fruitlessly throughout the perimeter, circling over and over trying to find a trace of any of them, Edward gave up. He left his car in the parking garage and ran as quickly as he could to his home in Forks. He called Emmett and Jasper's names as he approached, and they were waiting for him on the porch when he arrived.

"She's gone," Edward said, holding a hand to his chest as pain shot through it. He needed to stay focused and strong; he couldn't break down and let more time pass. Every second counted, and he wouldn't stop until he found Bella.

"Bella?" Emmett immediately took a protective stance, while Jasper looked on with concern.

"Yes. She's…James has her. We were in Seattle and he…I went to get the car, but," Edward explained, "I didn't…she's gone."

Edward tried not to feel like his stomach had been ripped out of his throat, but he did. He wanted to curl up on the ground, crying and wailing and lamenting, pulling his hair out and cursing the day James was born, but he managed to stay upright.

"Bella's gone?" Rose stood between Emmett and Jasper, looking close to snapping as well.

Edward nodded feebly and handed the piece of fabric to her. The three took turns sniffing it before beginning to make a plan. Carlisle joined them on the porch as the foursome discussed their options.

"I don't know where he would take her, and I can't track him. I tried to follow their scents, but I couldn't. If it keeps raining, we'll never find their trail," Edward said, shaking his head violently as if to dislodge his pessimistic thoughts. "Rose? What do you think?"

"I…I'll try, Edward, but I'm not…you know my tracking is limited. I'll do everything I can," she said both fiercely and compassionately.

"Are you going, too, Carlisle?" Esme stood in the doorway with her arm around Alice. Edward wished more than ever that he could peer into Alice's mind and see what she knew.

"I have to. Will you stay with Alice?"

"Yes. Um…good luck," Esme said quietly before turning and leading Alice back inside. Jasper broke away for a moment to bid his love goodbye.

An idea formed in Edward's mind – one he really didn't want to consider. One he hoped the others would shoot down so he wouldn't have to follow through with it. But, also, one that might just work.

"We need…we need to get a real tracker," Edward began as the others nodded in agreement. "Someone who can follow a vampire's scent no matter what. Someone created for that express purpose."

Emmett and Rose both looked at Edward in surprise, both with an inkling as to where he was going with his train of thought.

"Carlisle? We should go to the boundary line," Edward told him. Carlisle nodded once before rushing inside to inform Esme and Jasper where they were going. He returned with Jasper in tow, and the five of them took off without a second thought. They would do whatever it took to find Bella – and the only way they would stand a chance to find James would be to employ a werewolf or two.

xXx

Bella tried her best to stay silent, and to keep her feet moving in sync. She had to act like she was under compulsion, and she wasn't supposed to have any fear. Every nerve ending felt like it was trying to quiver right out of her skin, but she had to master her body's reactions. She was certain James could hear her elevated heart rate, and probably smell her fear, but she hoped he would chalk it up to a human's instinctive response. There was no reason for him to suspect that she wasn't properly compelled.

James kept a quick human pace as they walked through downtown, winding around corners and down alleys until they reached a car. Laurent and Victoria appeared almost instantly. Bella was pushed into the backseat, where Victoria perched next to her, sitting way too close for comfort. Bella kept her eyes forward, trying to look disinterested and dazed as she gazed out the windshield.

The three vampires spoke too quickly and quietly for Bella to keep up, so she focused her attention on road signs and markers, hoping to recognize where they were heading. As best she could tell, they were heading east, getting farther and farther from Forks every minute.

Bella's memory flickered with images and words and thoughts as the miles passed under their tires. She saw Edward and his smile, his pale, long fingers, his hair and glowing eyes; she saw her father's moustache and gun holster, his quiet smiles reserved only for his daughter; she remembered her mother's laugh lines and inquisitive spirit, her final moments of pleading for her life; she remembered seeing James' face for the first time, the fear that paralyzed her, and the obsession that took over her life. The pain of her tattoos and the frightening realism of her nightmares and the vial of holy water hidden in her bedroom now rendered useless. She thought of the silver cross she used to carry – the one she abandoned as she fell in love with Edward – the one that wouldn't have fit anywhere on her dress anyway. She was defenseless; she knew of only one weapon, and she had no access to it.

She also knew that most vampires didn't prolong feeding like James was. She had seen from her mother's mind, and heard from Edward and Jasper enough to know that they took what they wanted, when they wanted. Apart from Jasper watching Alice for three days before attacking, she'd never heard of a vampire going to such lengths to feed. Bella was beginning to think this was more of a game to James. How long had he been following her? When did he first begin to plan taking her? What was his goal? To kill her? Torture her? Get information from her? Bella longed to find out, but wasn't in a position to ask questions.

After what might've been hours and might've been minutes, the car pulled onto a gravel road that wound through an almost barren lot. A cabin up ahead was dark, lonely in the middle of nowhere with no inhabitants. James stopped the car and Bella climbed out obligingly as Victoria held open her door. Bella seriously reconsidered her decision to pretend to be compelled and go along with them. Screaming and fighting and dying truthfully, with dignity, was looking better and better. James led them inside, flipping on lights as he went – purely for Bella's benefit. The vampires moved slowly as they entered, examining the surroundings, until everything was secure.

The next few moments passed too quickly for Bella to understand what happened until it was over. She heard a rustling sound and then she was flying. She heard metal clanging and suddenly she was hanging. She saw a flash and then something sunk into her skin. But the time her mind caught up with the events, she was chained to a wall, the bottom of her dress pulled off, and James' teeth were sunk into her thigh. It didn't even hurt, Bella noted, to be bitten. The only pain she felt was from the shackles on her wrists, and the way her shoulders were being pulled.

She saw Victoria standing at the doorway, eyes darkened but still glowing, as James pulled mouthful after mouthful of blood from her. He gulped one last time, and Bella saw that he barely made a mess – only one small drop escaped his lips, resting on his chin and slowly sliding down. Her vision began to blur and then it turned black. She wasn't sure how long she was out for, but when she awoke, her own mouth was wet. Bella couldn't wipe the dribble from her face, and unsuccessfully tried to shrug her shoulder near enough to clean her chin. She licked her lips, the taste on her tongue unfamiliar and bitter, but not totally repulsive. She looked down at her chest, panic rising within her as she saw deep crimson stains slipping into her cleavage and ruining her dress further.

A laugh brought her from her nightmare, and as she saw Victoria watching her, she started to gag. She remembered James drinking from her, and then blacking out. Victoria was at her side in a flash, holding a hand over her mouth to keep her from vomiting. Bella was forced to choke the burning liquid back down as Victoria watched her. Once Bella's heaves were finished, the redheaded vampire stepped away and laughed again.

"See, this is all part of it…James drank from you…weakened you…exposed your blood and helped carry your scent…and then he had me give you some of my blood," Victoria explained as Bella felt her gag reflex try to kick in again. The thought of ingesting blood – anyone's, let alone Victoria's – was sickening. "Edward will search for you, and your blood will call to him when he's close enough. From there, the real fun begins. Will your _love_ attack you, killing you himself? Will he try to fight us just to be defeated? Will we turn you into one of us, instead? The options are limitless…I can't wait for him to show. We'll have _such_ a good time."

Victoria turned and exited the room, leaving Bella alone with her torn, blood-covered dress, a gaping wound in her thigh, and a vampire's blood on her lips. She was definitely, officially, beating herself up for going along with them. She should've fought when she had the chance, and now she'd pulled Edward into some sort of trap. She couldn't bear the thought of him dying; she also didn't want to be turned, and she knew Edward would never forgive himself if he attacked her in the midst of a bloodlust frenzy. Bella wanted to think, and figure a way out, but she was exhausted. Her frame trembled against the iron chains that bound her, her mind too weary to form a plan, and desperately seeking respite. Her eyes fluttered closed as her muscles went limp.

xXx

Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Rose and Edward approached the line cautiously. They knew a few wolves would show soon. The vampires' scent would waft over and call to them, causing them to shift and come to protect their people. The small group waited impatiently, each wanting to hurry and find James, and save Bella. Edward's emotions kept trying to get the best of him, and he fought them back. He couldn't afford to lose his head when so much needed to be done. And, if he was too volatile when meeting with the wolves, he couldn't imagine the repercussions. Jasper patted his shoulder empathetically, and Edward tried to give him a small smile.

The sounds of four-legged animals neared, and the four stood casually, hoping to display they weren't looking for conflict. Once the three wolves caught sight of them, the one in front – none other than Jacob Black, himself – phased back to human form. He snatched at a pair of shorts lying on the ground and tugged them on while looking expectantly at the vampires. Carlisle deferred to Edward and took a step back, leaving Edward in the point position.

"Bella's been taken," Edward began, observing the widening of Jacob's eyes and hearing the quickening of his pulse. "We need your help."

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**Dun-dun-dun. Only three chapters left.**

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	13. Chapter 13: Fighting Aginst Fate

**Hi, guys! This chapter is a it of a doozy - there's some pretty serious physical violence and it gets pretty emotional, as well. Just wanted to forewarn you. Thanks so much for all of your support. **

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Song rec: "The Fire Song" by Company of Thieves **

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"So she was abducted in Seattle?"

Edward nodded at Jacob. The other two wolves had both phased back to human form, and were standing in a triangle with Jake at the head, listening silently.

"We'll have to go soon, then. The three of us will accompany you. Eight on three should be plenty to take down the leeches," Jake commented as he looked at Rose. "That is, if _you're_ going?"

His eyebrow was raised as she snarled before spitting at him, "You bet your hairy ass I'm going! I'm the best tracker in the family."

Jake nodded reluctantly. "It's good to know you won't slow us down, then."

Rose opened her mouth to say something else, but Edward spoke before she could.

"We should go now. Can you run the entire way, or will you have to drive?"

"We can run until we reach the city limits. We'll phase back and go to the hotel human. Since it's the middle of the night, hopefully not too many people will be out to wonder why we're walking around barefoot and shirtless," Jake commented. The vampires agreed, and the newly formed pack of eight took off. Neither party wanted to have a truce, but they were all willing to go to bat for a human—for Bella—so they would fight on the same side.

The one hundred and thirty-odd miles to Seattle passed quickly. The wolves kept up with the vampires easily. Jake and the other two wolves, Quil and Embry, paused to phase back to human form when they neared the city. The Cullens continued on, giving Rose a chance to try to sniff out a trail before the others caught up. The wolves still moved quickly on foot, and arrived as Rose regretfully said she couldn't keep a good trail on James. Jake took over, his human nose still artfully made to detect vampires, and led the others on a winding trip through town.

Jake stopped, looking around for a moment before turning back to speak to the others.

"They got into a car here," he said, looking down the street. "It's one-way for a while…we can keep going and see if we pick up on anything else."

"You can still smell them if they got in a car?" Emmett looked impressed.

"Not necessarily," Jake said, leading everyone down the street. "But it smells like maybe the windows were down on the car, or something like that. I can barely make out the scent, but it's there. Bella, James, and the other two leeches."

"Do you have any idea why he'd take Bella?" Jasper asked.

"No. Bella said he knew who she was, before, in California, but…other than…feeding, I don't know what he would want," Edward answered honestly, shuddering as he considered what James could be doing to Bella right then.

After continuing down the street for several blocks, Jake turned to the right and pointed. "They went this way. Is it possible that they wanted you to find them?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just odd that they would've left a trail like this, when they could've easily not. And there's no reason for them to even walk through the streets like this. If the vamps wanted to get away without leaving a trail, they could've. Either they're stupid, or they want us to follow them," Jake stated.

"Or this is a fake out," Jasper said. "Are you positive that Bella was in the car?"

"One hundred percent," Jake said confidently. Embry, who'd yet to speak, stood up for Jake.

"Jake's never wrong. I can tell that Bella was with all three of them in the car, at the same time, and Jake's a better tracker than me. If he says he's sure, he's sure."

"It doesn't matter if he's right or not, it's all we have to go on at this point," Edward said angrily. "If it's a trick or a trap, I don't care—we've got nothing else. Let the sick bastard lead us right to him. I'm ready."

"Edward, you know you probably won't be able to take him on by yourself," Carlisle said. "You'll need help, even if you don't want it."

"You're right – I don't feckin' want any bloody help! I want to tear this prick limb from limb and dance around his ashes!"

"You can, bro," Emmett pointed out. "You'll just need a little help subduing him, that's all."

"Fine! Fine," Edward relented, uninterested in continuing the fruitless argument. Edward was aware of his new physical limitations due to his diet—he just didn't want to admit them out loud. He hated that he couldn't take James one on one. Even Jake would be able to handle him.

"Jasper and I will take Victoria, Carlisle will tend to Bella, and the wolves can take Laurent," Rose said. Jake grunted, clearly unhappy with her statement. "I'm not saying you couldn't kill them on your own, but we need to do this. For our family."

Edward's throat tried to produce a sob as he heard Rose refer to Bella as part of their family. He already knew that Bella was the family of his heart, even if they hadn't made official declarations or exchanged rings. She would forever be his one and only, his wife—if they both survived, he would make sure of it.

The first hour of their search came and went quietly, all eight focused singularly on their goal. Jake and the others phased as soon as they were able, and they ran with abandon after the possibly-intentional trail.

xXx

Bella was unable to discern how much time had passed since she'd been taken. She guessed that they walked for fifteen minutes, drove for at least an hour, if not two, but after that, her brain was fuzzy. She awoke alone, the overhead light turned off, still shackled to the wall. Her hands were numb from the lack of blood flow, and her legs ached to move. Her skin was sticky—a mixture of sweat and blood—and her lips were cracked. She tried to moisten them with her tongue, but each pass only gave her a better taste of Victoria's blood.

From what Edward told her, Bella assumed that James wanted to ensure she had vampire blood in her so that if she died—for whatever reason—they'd have a bartering item. If the trio of vampires were trying to ensnare Edward, they had a human pumped full of vampire blood, on the cusp of being turned. Would they try to make a trade? Or, as Victoria hinted, were they hoping that Edward would be unable to resist her blood and attack her himself?

Bella wanted to be saved, but she didn't want Edward to fall into a trap. She hoped that he would have the forethought to enlist his family if he was going to come after her – if he could find her. James seemed confident that Edward would, but Bella had no idea how long it would take.

She knew someone entered the room by the way the air shifted, though she couldn't see them in the dark. Whoever it was stayed silent and unmoving, leaving Bella and her heavy breaths as the only active part of the room. Bella tried not to hyperventilate—the knowledge of someone standing and watching her made her body turn to shivers and creeps. A figure finally emerged from the doorway after an endless moment, and Bella saw the waist length dreads, alerting her to who it was.

Laurent said nothing, but approached her slowly. She had a fleeting thought that maybe he would help her, release her from her shackles, or tell her what was going on. But she was wrong.

His face came painfully close to her breasts, and his cold tongue flicked out to lick at Victoria's dried blood. Laurent licked every drop like a dog with peanut butter, and Bella couldn't stop the tears from springing forth from her eyes. Laurent moved to lick her chin, and even when she turned her head side to side to get away, he just followed.

His hands stayed safely at his sides, but his tongue—the snaky, slimy thing—chased her. She tried to hide her lips from him, but he wouldn't have it. She felt him prying open her mouth and licking her teeth clean, and a sob burst forth. Laurent still didn't speak. He knelt and reopened the wound James drank from before, his motions feeling decidedly more erotic and scarring.

After drinking a small portion, he rose to his feet, rubbing the length of his erection against her and smiling, his teeth glowing in the dark. He backed away from her, his eyes focused on her tear-streaked face, and finally spoke.

"We don't have to chain you like that," he said softly. "You couldn't get away from us regardless…but it's so nice to have a little pet in a cage."

An inhuman sound broke from Bella's lips, garbled and pleading, a prayer and a wish, but no one heard. Laurent disappeared again, leaving Bella hanging against the wall, ashamed and defiled, feeling dirty and used and depleted.

She shut her eyes, trying to muster some courage—she tried to call forth the Bella that stood up to Edward when she first met him—the one that whittled a wooden stake—but she couldn't. That Bella had been replaced with a frightened, and beaten down Bella. This Bella was too afraid to function. This Bella was scared shitless, and couldn't even probe the vampires' minds for information.

Victoria entered the room, her teeth biting her own wrist before shoving the exposure against Bella's mouth. She pinched Bella's nose shut until she had to take a breath through her mouth, effectively taking a gulp of her blood.

Bella wanted to disappear, to die, to go back in time…but she couldn't. And given the choice, she wasn't sure if she'd choose it or not…she couldn't regret the time she'd spent with Edward, even if it had led to this moment. She was exposed and vulnerable to the vampire world long before he came into her life. At least she had one bright spot. At least she had one thing to live for, even if it only lasted a few months.

She thought of Edward as another mouthful seeped down her throat. Bella shut off the rest of her mind, all but the part that envisioned her Edward, and the life they could've had.

xXx

Jake was certain they were getting closer. The scent was steady, but he was also sure that James was setting a trap for them. Each vampire was on high alert, ready for a surprise attack. Quil and Embry flanked Jake on either side, guarding him so he could concentrate on tracking instead of defending.

Edward stayed silent, willing his mind not to travel to the dark places it wanted to go. His family members were similarly silent and focused, which he appreciated. The wolves were business-like, though Edward could guess that Jake was a nervous wreck, much like he was. While he hadn't had any contact with Bella since the night Edward spoke with him, he knew that Jake hadn't given up. He'd known Bella since they were young; that kind of familiarity didn't disappear overnight.

The group froze mid-run, and the wolves skidded on their paws as the scent of blood hit them like a brick wall. It was Bella, Edward was sure of it. Each vampire had to take a moment to conquer their own lust before they could speak. The wolves looked at them with intelligent eyes.

"It's Bella," Edward stated as he looked around. He spotted a piece of fabric lying twenty yards away. He went to the swatch and picked it up—it was part of Bella's dress, covered in her own blood. A part of him flared with want for her blood—but the larger part of him broke a little imagining what happened to her. What had James done?

"What do you think James is playing at? This seems planted, don't you think?" Emmett paced agitatedly as Rose nodded her head.

"He's right. What are the odds of a piece of Bella's fabric falling away out here, covered in blood, when they had been in a car? James had to have left it on purpose," she said.

"We need to keep going. There are probably more clues along the way," Jasper told Edward, who was still standing with his back to the group, lost in his own misery. "You said you didn't care if it was a trap, right? Let's keep going."

"There's not a chance that they have more than just the three of them there, right? No other vampires that you know of?" Carlisle looked worried.

"It was just them," Edward quietly said. He gripped the scrap of Bella's dress in his hand and started to run. He knew he should've left it behind, but he couldn't bear to part with the only thing he had of her at the time.

Edward rejuvenated his own mind by remembering how ravishing Bella looked in her dress as she stepped from the hotel bathroom. She was both young and mature, thin but curvy, innocent and sexual. He hadn't felt things so deeply since he was human; he hadn't felt anything like that before, ever.

He knew that no matter what happened in the next few hours, he would never forget the way she looked at him when they were dancing, or the way her body felt pressed against his. He'd cherish the memories of her breathing as she slept, and the way her eyes were puffy in the morning. He would remember every thing about her—every freckle and scar, every different smile she had for him and her varied laughs. Edward would never be just Edward again.

These thoughts propelled his feet faster. They made his muscles tense in anticipation. A growl rose in his throat, causing his running partners to look at him. He shook his head, making sure they knew there was no current threat. He hoped James had a trap waiting for him. He was ready to confront the bastard.

As the gravel path began to widen, more scraps of bloody cloth were found. A clearing stood up ahead, and Edward could see a small cabin in the middle of it. He knew Bella was in it—he could smell her, she was injured—but he could feel her there. He could feel the electricity thrumming over the divide, igniting his very soul to the point of absolution. He would get revenge, if it was the last thing he did.

xXx

"Loverboy is coming. We'd better get you cleaned up," James said. He used a wet cloth to wipe at Bella's mouth and chin. He looked at Victoria, and with a barely discernable node, she swept in and pulled at Bella's wrist. Victoria sank her teeth into Bella's delicate skin, drinking just a little, just enough to expose her scent even more. "Looks like he brought some friends."

Bella was relieved for a moment knowing that Edward had his family with him. As long as they were evenly numbered, there was a chance. She knew James and his coven would be stronger, but she had to believe that the Cullens wouldn't go on a suicide mission.

They left Bella in her shackles, and all she could do was wait. Blood ran down her forearm, dripping off her elbow and onto the floor. She was shaky and weak from the blood loss, and having not eaten in too many hours. It still looked dark outside, so she assumed the night hadn't yet passed.

A crashing sound jarred her, causing her already taut body to tense in her chains even further. She heard snarls and teeth snapping, along with wretched howls and cries. She couldn't see anything, but she knew that a war was raging in another part of the house.

xXx

Edward burst through the front door, using zero caution, and ready to fight. He wasn't prepared for the silver dagger that was thrust into his torso upon his entrance, however. He looked up to see Victoria holding a makeshift spear, her hands wrapped tightly around the wooden handle.

Jasper reacted quickly and grabbed her hair, twisting until she was knotted on his knuckles and he brought her to the floor. Rose pulled the spear from Edward's chest, freeing him of the silver poison, but he felt momentarily immobile. He fell backwards into Carlisle's ready arms, watching as Rose detached Victoria's body from her head, still tangled on Jasper's hand. They began tossing her limbs out the front door, allowing Quil to distribute them far away from one another with his massive jaw. Emmett quickly set fire to Victoria's hands, and Embry joined in to pile the remains in the pyre.

Edward could feel the hole in his sternum knitting back together, and he was able to stand on his own again. He didn't see Laurent or James, but he knew they were close. He listened for Bella's heartbeat, picking it out easily above the roars and sizzling behind him. He headed down a short hallway, her scent nearly driving him wild, and he threw open a door to see his Bella chained to a wall. He stood completely still for a second too long, his eyes fixed on her, and James whipped a silver chain at him.

The manacle wrapped perfectly around Edward's throat, causing him once again to fall backwards. Bella watched in horror as James flew over to Edward, picking him up and throwing him through the wall opposite her. Emmett appeared virtually out of nowhere, and attacked James from behind. Bella couldn't see Edward through the dust and dry wall that had fallen, but she could watch as Emmett tried to get a hold on James.

Carlisle's face flashed in front of her, startling her, as he tried to unlock the cuffs around her joints. He gave up and ripped each once from the wall, leaving heavy, iron weights on her as she fell like a sack of potatoes to the floor.

"Bella, where are you hurt?" His soft blue eyes looked into hers, willing her to speak.

"I'm…I've just been bitten, I'm not…I'm not hurt," she said, realizing suddenly how dry her throat was. Her hands felt like they were on fire as the blood began to circulate again, and she felt like she was bruised all over. "Ed-Edward has a chain…silver…around his neck."

Carlisle looked worried as his eyes flickered to the hole Edward disappeared through. James and Emmett had long since tumbled out of the cabin, smashing through a window. Bella heard so much she wasn't sure what was happening—she heard Rose and Jasper speaking, fire crackling, wolves howling, glass breaking, Edward gasping and her own heart beating—it was too much.

Carlisle vanished and reappeared in less than a second, Edward in his arms. Bella saw that Edward's already pale skin was turning a deathly blue, and his eyes were fluttering closed.

"You have to get this off of him, Bella, I can't touch it," Carlisle said hurriedly. Bella tried to will her shaking, tingling hands to work, but her fingers felt frozen. She managed to grasp one end of the chain and began unwrapping it. James had thrown it just right, causing it to choke Edward. The silver left frightening indentations in his formerly-granite-seeming skin, and Bella grit her teeth through her own pain to remove Edward's. Once she peeled the final layer away, she expected Edward to immediately recover, but he didn't.

The color slowly came back to his skin, but he still wasn't moving. Bella feared the worst, disregarding that Edward told her before that silver wouldn't kill him. She tried to hold him, and hug him closer to her, but her limbs were still like ice and sludge, barely moveable and frail. She opened her mouth to ask Carlisle a question, but James catapulted through the window, hitting him in the side and crashing through the wall next to her.

More plaster and insulation and wood clattered around her, hitting her and covering Edward. She tried to move the debris away from him, her trembling hands only getting worse, as she heard more screams. Bella turned her head to see that a wolf had Laurent clamped securely in its mouth, and she almost felt happy. The feeling was short-lived, however, as James broke away from Jasper, and headed straight towards her.

Bella was able to see many things in the moments that James held her to his chest. She was facing away from him, a human shield, and she could survey the damage around her. A fire blazed near the side of the cabin, two wolves standing by it. A third wolf, the one with Laurent, was dragging the vampire's body towards the flames. Emmett lay almost motionless on the ground as Rose knelt over him. Jasper and Carlisle looked visibly shaken, both crouched in defensive positions, but looking unsure. Bella saw Edward stand in her peripheral vision, and for a brief second she thought she would be okay.

It was three against one, not counting Rose, Emmett and the wolves—surely she would be saved.

Edward shook the lethargy from his limbs, his body repairing itself quickly, cashing in on reserves of animal blood to heal. He saw Jasper and Carlisle ready to pounce, and just as he bent his own knees in preparation to attack, James' head whipped towards him, a smug smile on his face.

James' hands moved quickly, one at Bella's chin and one at the top of her skull, pulling in different directions. Edward heard the crack. He heard her heart push out its last beats. He felt her soul flicker and die out. She slumped and James dropped her, allowing her body to lie irreverently on the ground.

Too late. _Too late_. All he could think was that he was too late.

A feral shout broke free from his lips, a cry of anguish and defeat, a cry of fury and murder, and he moved twice as fast as Jasper to rip James' laughing head straight from his body. Edward didn't toss the face aside and tear at the rest of James' body—no, no—instead he beat the disembodied head past recognition, tearing skin from muscle and bone, crushing eye balls, cracking each piece of skull into satisfying crumbs, howling and lamenting what this bastard did to his love.

Jasper and Carlisle made quick work of James' body as Edward tore in an animalistic way at the head in his hands, like a coyote over a deer's remains. Rose held Emmett's arm to his body, allowing it to piece itself back together, breathing a sigh of relief until she saw the image of a deranged Edward tearing at shards of skin. Bella lay motionless on the ground next to him, her brown eyes open and staring heavenward. Jake phased and fell to his knees, naked and crying, wondering why the scene had to play out as it had.

They'd killed them all—bad guys dead—but Bella didn't make it. Carlisle mourned silently with his son. The group sat in eerie grief, the sun starting to rise, lighting the scene with an ironic dawn, watching the flames die out in sorrow.

Edward was certain he'd never feel another thing again – watching Bella die in front of him, unable to help her, brought forth the kind of ache that scraped and scavenged out his insides, leaving him a useless shell.

He crawled over to Bella, stroking her hair lovingly once, watching her pale skin turn paler…his eyes grew unfocused, seeing images that weren't there—ones that would never be there, ones of the future—so at first he didn't see her blink. Her lips moved, pushing out a whisper of air, floating straight to Edward's ears.

"Edward…."

* * *

**Two chapters left. They'll both be going up in the next seven days. **

**Find me on Twitter (at) ginginleelee**


	14. Chapter 14: Falling Feels Like Flying

**So, here it is, picking up right where we left off...I'll have more for you at the bottom.**

* * *

Bella didn't feel right. She felt stiff. She felt sluggish.

And then she felt hysterical.

In a rush, she went from black, silent darkness to a deluge of words and sounds that nearly drove her mad in an instant. The voices were too much. They were too loud and too fast—too contradicting.

Edward's face loomed over her. She saw the sadness in his green eyes. She saw the darkened countenance he carried. She managed to sort through the voices long enough to say his name. His eyes shot to hers, a combination of fear and disbelief, and he stared at her an immeasurable time before speaking.

She wanted to hear what he had to say, but the voices wouldn't be quiet.

Edward couldn't process what he saw. In one moment, one short second of time and space, he went from utter despair to joyous insanity. His thoughts moved quickly, supplying explanations. He thought perhaps he was dreaming or hallucinating. However, his nose gave him the answer. He could smell it. He could smell her. She was turning. His Bella was…a vampire.

Like him. A monster.

He had so many questions for her, but he wasn't allowed to ask them. His family gathered near, shock on their faces, and Jake managed to find his shorts and pull them on before approaching. Edward started to enfold her in his arms, but in a flash she was flailing and hitting, knocking him on his back, and screaming.

"Shut up! Shut up!"

Everyone grew silent as they watched Bella explode. She shook her head almost too fast to see, clawing at her hair and eyes—if her skin hadn't turned to stone, she'd have ripped tissue from bone.

"Stop! Stop—make it stop!" She shouted, her voice hitting a deafening pitch, frightening animals for miles into hiding, causing the wolves to cower, and the Cullens to cover their ears. "Make it stop! Shut up, shut up!"

Bella dropped to her knees, her hands digging at the soil, trying to bury her own body. Edward feared the worst—he feared that Bella was turned in the midst of an emotional breakdown, or a psychological break. He feared she would be like Alice, trapped in her own mind for eternity. He watched his lovely, his beauty, his almost-wife burrow into the dirt, afraid he'd already lost her. Despair threatened to overtake him again.

The wolves had already backed off, allowing some space between themselves and the newborn vampire, and the Cullens followed suit. Carlisle led them away, back to the front of the cabin, allowing Edward a moment alone with his mate. When the others were about one hundred yards away, Bella slowed her movements, pausing long enough to lift her torso from the grave she'd been digging. Her brown eyes glowed to nearly red as she looked upon her love, looking down on her with pity.

"I'm not crazy," she said quietly. The harshness of her voice dimmed in the absence of others.

"I know," he answered.

"No, you don't. You worry," she told him. "You think I'll be stuck in madness like Alice. But, I'm not crazy."

Edward's brow furrowed against his will. He didn't remember saying that out loud, and he was trying to keep his poker face on.

"You didn't say it, Edward. I can hear you," she explained. He almost understood, but at the last second, his brain didn't compute what she was telling him. "Like before, I can hear your thoughts, but I don't have to touch you."

"Then—how—what were—"

"I could hear everyone. All of them. Your entire family, the wolves. It was…it's too much. I can't take it. Don't make me do that again," she pled.

Edward thought before he spoke, and Bella answered.

"We'll run separately. I need…there's a lot to, um…take care of…I…I'm…" Bella trailed off, unable to come to terms with what happened to her. Unwilling to think about what she'd become.

"Will you…are you alright?" Edward watched her, looking for signs of a mistruth.

Her brown eyes flickered to his, a depth newly evident—one holding what looked like pounds of regret—communicating how unwell she was.

"I don't know," she said truthfully.

"I know you didn't want this," he began.

"But you did."

"I never said—"

"I saw it. I know it's easier for you this way. You'd never tell me, or push me to do it…but you thought it. You dreamed it. It was like your private fantasy. A new Bella. An unchanging, un-aging, impenetrable Bella. One that smelled right and acted better and hunted and never slept. You wanted it," she spat, furious with him for no good reason. He hadn't made her into a vampire—he wasn't the one to blame, but the person she could've blamed was dead. The only person available was the one before her, the one she loved but knew that he wanted her to become that.

"I never wanted you any other way. You know that. You can see in my mind now. I never wanted to change you—not eternally and not in some fleeting, ephemeral way. I only wanted you as you were, Bella. Don't ever doubt that," he said in a hard voice.

She was upset, he understood, but he wouldn't allow her to question his devotion and love, his utter acceptance of her at all costs. Yes, he'd imagined her as a vampire, but he hadn't for one second thought he'd love her any more that way.

Bella dropped back onto the ground, pulling her knees to her chest. "I know. I'm sorry. I just…I didn't want…this."

Bella put her hands to her eyes, trying desperately to quell the flow of tears building, only to find no liquid leaking from her tear ducts. The sob was heavy in her throat, her stomach churning, her head aching like she was holding back, but no tears came. She clenched her fist in her hair, yanking roughly at her roots, seeking the relief a good cry would bring.

"I can't even fucking cry," she said brokenly. Edward sat next to her, pulling her into his chest, and she let him. She relaxed against him, tuning out the mish-mash of thoughts in his mind so she could focus on her own. She saw her life—her former life, her previous path—flash before her eyes, and she tried to say goodbye. No growing old with Charlie, giving him grandchildren to bounce on his knee, no weight gain and muscle loss, no wrinkles or gray hair…some things she wouldn't miss, but others…she'd miss the opportunity to lament them.

"I wish I'd had the chance to diet," Bella said aloud, trying to break the tension surrounding them before she choked. She heard the question in his mind. "So I could be skinnier for eternity. I'm a little round for a vampire."

Edward laughed, tenderly kissing her temple. He knew she was trying not to get caught up and carried away. He knew her well enough to know that she'd deflect so as not to reveal how badly she was struggling. "I love you. Forever. I'll do whatever I can to help you. I'll never leave you."

He hoped his words helped. "They do help," she told him.

Edward realized belatedly that he hadn't taken a moment to rejoice over Bella being okay—relatively speaking—and a wide smile broke out on his face. He thought through the hurried minutes that passed after he and the others arrived at the cabin; he was attacked by Victoria, attacked by James, saved by Carlisle and Bella, watched James snap his love's neck in front of him, destroyed the bastard, then watched as Bella came back to life before his eyes. The ten minutes had been, quite possibly, the most eventful, and certainly the most important of his life.

He had Bella. She was alive. She was his—if she'd still have him—forever.

"Of course I'll still have you. I love you…it was the only thing…you were the only thing that kept me going. I promise. I love you," she swore.

She heard the questions and thoughts in his mind, but didn't answer prematurely. Edward seemed to struggle for a minute before looking at her soft face, relishing in the way her features hadn't changed.

"I know it's too soon, and we don't have to do anything yet, but, will you marry me? Eventually?"

"You know I will. You know I'm yours," she said, finally leaning in and kissing his lips deeply, amazed at how he didn't feel cold anymore. "You're stuck with me, I'm afraid."

"Thank God," he answered, his thoughts going haywire as they kissed in the dirt. He recognized the truth of his statement; he found himself, for once, truly thankful to God for bringing Bella into his life, and letting her live, even if she was a vampire.

"I'm sure I'll get over it eventually," Bella told him, pulling away to lean her head against his chest. "Like I said…this isn't exactly what I wanted."

Edward's own paranoia slipped in the worry that she didn't want him forever like he wanted her.

"No, that part I wanted. I always wanted that. It's the other…the different species part I'm struggling with. This isn't…it's not the life I would've chosen for myself," she said quietly, leaning away from him to look at his weary face. His hair was all over the place, his face smudged with ash and soot, his shirt bloody and torn. "But I'm glad I got this…with you."

Their romantic-yet-desolate moment was interrupted as Bella heard thoughts nearing. "They're coming back. Carlisle and Jake. Jasper, Rose, and Emmett already went back. It's so hard…."

Edward watched as Bella's face became strained with the effort of holding so many thoughts at once. Just adding two additional people almost overwhelmed her. He couldn't imagine what it was like for her to wake up and hear seven emotional minds. Bella started speaking without opening her eyes, answering Carlisle and Jake before they got too close.

"Yes. Victoria made me drink from her. They kept me full the whole time," Bella said in response to Jake's questions. "I don't know…it was a game. He wanted to trap Edward…and you guys. I guess he didn't count on the wolves. Or maybe he thought he was just a better competitor. It never made sense to me, either."

Carlisle wasn't totally satisfied with the answer Bella gave him to "Why?" but he would accept it.

"Insurance. I guess…I don't know, James must've inferred that I didn't…I wouldn't…necessarily choose to become one. So he chose for me. Or maybe he thought Edward wouldn't want me for forever. I couldn't…I was really out of it, for the most part. I don't know what he was thinking," Bella said. "Yes. Everything."

The others tried to silence their thoughts at the realization that Bella could hear every single thing that ran through their minds, to no avail. What now? Carlisle wondered.

"Edward and I…we'll need to leave," Bella began, looking at her new fiancé with a question in her eyes. He nodded. "It's…it's hard, hearing you all. And I…I feel…rather thirsty."

"We'll head towards Forks, Bella can feed on the way. We'll get her stuff and her car, and head up to Alaska. We'll just play it by ear after that," Edward said authoritatively. At the thought of feeding, Bella fought the urge to growl and crouch like an animal. She could feel something brewing inside of her—something unfamiliar, feral—and it scared her. She thought she might snap, and wanted to be far, far away when she did. She only regretted that Edward would have to see it.

Bella bid Jake and Carlisle goodbye, trying not to listen to Jake's heartbroken thoughts. She didn't know he actually cared for her until that moment. He was reluctantly grateful that she wasn't dead, but counted her as…cursed.

Edward led her into the woods, showing her how to track and kill, but Bella could feel a power in her limbs, and an instinct in her predatory mind. When she first awoke, near the fire, by Edward's defeated form, she'd been too overcome by the voices to take in the changes in her body. The brief respite from others' thoughts only granted her enough time to try a feeble cry and agree to marry Edward. Now that she was free—running wildly through the forest, searching for animals to drain, her life no longer a ticking clock—she truly began to comprehend the magnitude of what happened.

She was different, something else—other. She was just like Edward. Though she was also the same kind as James, a killer by nature, she wasn't like him. She could be something else.

She felt a dark kind of hope; she knew her silver lining. She knew she would have to cling to that thought in the months and years to come. When she questioned all the things that led her to her new life, when she doubted her choices, her love for Edward, her very existence, when she thought of ending it all, joining her mother…she would have to remember the day she realized she could be something—someone—good and of value and worth, someone she could be proud of.

Bella knew herself well enough to know that she wasn't going to accept any of what happened in the last day quickly or easily, but she could try to stay positive instead of drowning in her despondency. Edward would help her.

She looked over at the man she would marry as he wiped a small trail of blood from his mouth. He was alongside her, always with her, would never leave her—wanted her forever. She was his, he was hers, and he didn't even mind that she was twenty pounds too heavy.

After hunting successfully, the pair began running for Forks. Bella could hear Edward thinking of how much easier it would be for her, never tasting human blood. She couldn't help but be curious, but she would do everything in her power to abstain for good.

"We'll get clothes and whatever you want to take with you from your house, then we can stop by and see the others before we head out," Edward told her.

"I should leave a note for my dad," she commented. She looked up, trying to locate the sun behind the cloudy sky, unsure what time of day it was. "How many days has it been?"

"No days. It's only about…one in the afternoon," Edward answered.

"So, fifteen hours ago, you and I were dancing in a ballroom in Seattle, not a care in the world, ridiculously in love, about to have sex for the first time…and now, look at us," she told him, physically looking down to take in her ripped and bloody dress—she looked like a character from a horror flick—_prom_ _queen hacked to death!_

"We'll still get our moment. We'll dress up all fancy and dance the feckin' waltz if you like," Edward said. "And we'll make love over and over until we're sick of each other. Then we'll do it again."

"What if we just…make love over and over, and then do it again, without the dressing up and dancing part?" Edward looked at her, amused. "I don't need the other stuff. I just need you."

Edward felt something deep inside his chest sit up abruptly, stirring awake for the first time in a long time. She was awakening long-dead parts of him with each word she spoke, each look she shared with him. Soon, Edward would be aflame.

He needed her, too, he thought.

The pair ran hand-in-hand to the edge of town. Edward instructed Bella to hold her breath—he didn't want to tempt her by putting her downwind of any humans. After slipping into Bella's empty home, they gathered as many items of clothing as they could. Edward grabbed the keys to her car, and Bella, changed and cleaned up, bent to write a note to Charlie. She hoped it would suffice.

_- Dad, I decided to go on a trip. I'm not sure when I'll be back yet, but it may be a while. The truth is, I met someone. He's amazing, and we're in love. We're going to travel together – Europe, maybe – and I hope to come back soon and introduce you properly. I'll call soon. I love you. Bells_

Bella felt a foreign emotion stir in her stomach; she struggled with it as she folded the note and sat it by the TV remote, where she knew her father would find it. She could say, in all honesty, that she understood the term _bittersweet_. She'd never felt so mixed up in all her days.

The couple opted to drive to the Cullen's home. One by one, the family members exited the house to greet her, and give her well wishes. They didn't want to overwhelm her with their thoughts. Rose and Emmett promised to visit them soon, both hugging her tightly before they left. Jasper hugged her, as well, and welcomed her to the family.

Bella held onto Alice like a little girl with a teddy bear. She could see that Alice's yellow mind was tinged with orange and red that day. She flared deep crimson before turning to a sunset, seemingly offering Bella acceptance in her own way.

Carlisle acted very doctoral, asking her question after question to make sure she was alright. Esme stood on the porch, saying nothing aloud, but thinking, "I hope you find a way to adjust quickly."

Bella nodded her thanks.

They drove away, leaving behind their beginning, heading towards their never-end.

xXx

The days that followed were some of the hardest of Bella's life. She likened them to the days after her mother's death. These days, however, she was mourning her own death.

Her father had called her, repeatedly. She knew he would. She finally answered, speaking softly into her cell phone, assuring him that she was being taken care of. He insisted on speaking to Edward. She said no. He insisted further. She still said no. He asked for the boy's name. She wouldn't tell him. He begged and pleaded, and she relented.

She told him Edward.

Edward who? he asked.

Edward…Edward Cullen.

Charlie was silent. He was silent for so long, Bella worried he'd had a stroke. She thought he might've keeled over with no one to help him.

The growl Charlie emitted reminded her that her father was young still, and had a lot of fight left in him. When he demanded to speak to Edward, she was afraid to deny him.

Edward handled the call with much grace. Bella could hear plainly that Charlie wasn't taking it easy on him.

Edward reassured him (falsely) that he and Bella hadn't done anything illegal, and that they didn't pursue any type of relationship until she'd finished her student teaching. Even over the phone Edward was persuasive, and Charlie seemed to calm some.

Bella grabbed the phone to tell him goodbye, reminding him that her diploma would be coming in the mail. She regretted not getting to walk with the rest of her peers, but she hoped to have the opportunity another year.

"Bells…" Charlie began. "I need you to be careful, okay? Very, very careful."

"I will, Dad. I promise," she told him. They said "I love you's" and got off the phone.

The next day, Bella received a call from the superintendent of Clallam County, offering her a position at Forks High starting in August. Bella politely, and genuinely, regretfully, declined.

Bella worked on hunting, feeding, adjusting to her newfound strength, her new sleep schedule, and her ability to hear every single thought passing through Edward's mind. After finally settling completely into the small cabin, owned by the Cullens, in the Alaska wilderness, they were ready.

It wasn't with a spoken word, or an insinuation; it was a feeling, an atmosphere. The air shifted and spun, relieving them both temporarily of their worries and pulling them together like magnets. They couldn't fight it—not that they wanted to—and they wouldn't prolong the moment any longer.

It felt like, to them, their foreplay had lasted for months.

Edward undressed her quietly, reverently. Bella pulled the t-shirt from his back, tearing it accidentally, and marveling at how she could finally really see everything there was to see on Edward's body. She felt like she could see into him, his veins and muscles and tendons, if she only looked hard enough. Edward's eyes appraised her, noting the subtle changes from human to vampire—cellulite just didn't translate over.

He was relieved to see that Bella's curves weren't lessened. If anything, she looked…riper. He palmed her round ass, running his hands up her sides and holding the weight of her breasts in his hands. He kissed each one before dropping to his knees, kissing her belly button and the soft, fatty skin beneath it, the place she would've bore children if given time and the right mate.

He tasted her as she stood there, Bella keeping her balance as one leg draped over his shoulder. His tongue wasn't conservative; he traveled everywhere he could get, amazed that she tasted almost exactly the same, but without the scent of her blood tingeing the air.

She released, spilling onto his tongue, and he laid her down on their bed. Bella kissed him at every joint, stroking the length of his erection worshipfully, the subtle thoughts in his mind spurring her on. He thought of nothing but her; his mind's eye saw only her.

She took him in her mouth, turned on by the way she could see herself swallowing him through his eyes. She got him ready for her, and unable to wait any longer, moved up to straddle him. He entered her in almost silence. She heard his muted thoughts, and her eyes spoke novels to him. She moved rhythmically on top of him, his fingers assisting in finding another climax for her before flipping her over.

Bella cried softly, "More." Edward complied, thrusting swifter and deeper, unafraid of hurting her, but still wanting to respect her. Bella's back arched and her hips swiveled and Edward was certain he was losing himself.

Suddenly, as if in a haze, she was surrounding him. Nothing else existed in that moment, apart from the electricity surging between them, and the cloud that had descended. Bright lights flashed sporadically behind his eyes, alerting him to his impending release, and as they drew closer than they thought possible, closer than they'd ever been, Edward almost swore he heard her thoughts, too.

They were one, in that moment, sharing everything that could be shared, their mouths joining in a tangle of lips and tongues as Edward's orgasm came forcefully. The two stayed entwined and interlocked for minutes, waiting to begin again. Their lovemaking lasted all day, both unable to tire, and neither wanting to lose the connection. Their souls were fused irreparably, never to part.

Bella believed that fact would help propel her into her new life.

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**Only the Epilogue left. I'll post it this weekend. Follow me on Twitter (at) ginginleelee.**

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	15. Chapter 15: Letting Go

**So, here's the end. I'm a little sad about it, but I hope you guys like what I've done with it. This is short, but not very sweet - and I'll say right now, this chapter makes me cry every time I read it.**

**Song rec: "Brick" - Ben Folds Five**

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Charlie's house in Forks stood empty. The halls were musty, dusty, stale—the curtains dingy. A coffee cup long-since stained sat in the kitchen sink, alongside a single plate and fork. Dried, crusty eggs were in a skillet, begging to be soaked and cleaned. An imprint was left in the recliner in the living room, a familiar body filling it every night.

But the recliner was missing its occupant, and the coffee cup had no one to drink from it. No one was dusting the picture frames or vacuuming the floor. No one stepped on the creaky stair leading upstairs, or pulled at the broken handle on the bathroom vanity. The house was empty. The house was lonely.

Across town, Bella sat by her father's side. A machine beeped consistently behind her. A gush of air sounded every few seconds as Charlie was pumped from a tube. Bella looked down at the man that loved her more than his own life as he faded away. She knew it was almost time; the doctors would be in soon to remove his tubes and wires. His life support was ending. Bella cried without tears.

Edward stood in the corner, allowing her time with her father, but unable to part from her. She needed him, even when she didn't or couldn't say it, and he knew he had to stay. He had to help her say goodbye.

It had been years since they'd seen Charlie in person. Bella should've been claiming thirty-five at that point, Edward still a young thirty. They both were lucky to look old enough to pass for late twenties, but thirty was pushing it. Edward, turned in a time when boys became men early, looked a good twenty-four, due to the labor he'd partaken in as a child. His wearied traveler look transferred well in the modern age.

Bella's change in her early twenties left her in that in between—some thought she was a teenager, some thought she was well passed her quarter-life crisis. The crow's feet that had only just begun to deepen on her face lent her a mature air, even when the supple, smooth skin of her cheeks gave her away.

Her father noticed that she'd barely changed over the years, but with different clothes and different hairstyles, she managed to look slightly older. Edward chose khakis and button-downs tucked in, skipping the tennis shoes for boat shoes, and combing his hair. Bella found a bun or elaborate twist, coupled with a pencil skirt and glasses, made her look older. They were getting good with their tricks.

In the thirteen years since Bella departed Forks, she'd come to grips with her new life. She often found herself imagining her own alternate reality, living in a sideways world where her mother was never murdered, and she never knew about vampires. It was futile, but it was a way for her to pass the time.

Edward encouraged her to write, and when Bella grew tired of filling journals with her thoughts, she turned to her laptop and typed out novels of fiction. Her ideas were well-formed, and after completing a second degree in English, she was able to write well perfunctorily. Edward told her she should try to get published, but her words were her own, just for her—and him—and she wanted to keep it that way.

Bella and Edward stayed in the wilderness for three years, allowing her time to adjust to her cravings. She started going out and being around humans in small amounts, eventually leading her to be able to attend a four-year institution with ease. The couple joined up with the rest of the Cullens frequently, eventually opting to share a home with Jasper and Alice, but staying near the others, as well. Bella was able to read Alice's mind perfectly, adjusting to it over time, and always knew what she was thinking or feeling. She also worked on controlling her ability, and was able to successfully block others out when she wanted.

Edward had no qualms about Bella being inside of his head all of the time—he truly had no secrets, and would share anything with her. He wished, more often than not, that he could see into her mind, especially when it seemed she was growing depressed with her new life. She was changed in a terrible way, against her will, and had a prejudice against vampires in general. He hadn't expected her to jump for joy over her transformation, but he hoped that given time, his companionship would help her.

Bella did the best she could, and she found that after many years, many thoughts and fears and arguments, she was finally…happy. She had Edward. Forever. She had a good family, and she was able to learn and work and travel. She missed her father, but was thankful she didn't have any other family she had to let go of. Charlie accepted Edward readily, surprisingly, and they visited as often as they could.

Bella recounted the last conversation she'd had with her father, just a couple of weeks prior to his accident, and smiled.

"_Bells…are you…you're happy, right?"_

"_I am, Dad. I…there were times when I wasn't, but I truly am, now," she told him honestly._

"_And you're glad you married Edward?"_

"_Always. He's the best thing in my life—the best thing that ever happened to me. Even if I regret other things, I'll never regret that."_

"_Good. I'm glad to hear it. I used to worry about you so much, but…knowing that you're happy, it…it makes me happy. I'm thankful you found someone to love, who loves you back. I think you two will be happy together for a long time, Bells," Charlie said, emotion thick in his voice. Bella was surprised at Charlie's wordy response._

"_Thanks, Dad," she said._

"_I love you, kid. You know that, right?"_

"_I do. I love you, too. What's with all this…emotional talk, huh?"_

"_Oh, just the ramblings of an old man, that's all. I have a lot of time to think about things, and…I…well, it puts me at ease knowing you're taken care of. I won't be around forever, and I trust Edward to keep you safe."_

"_He does keep me safe. And I keep him safe. But you're the only dad I've got," she told him._

Charlie was barely fifty-eight years old, but now he lay prone in a hospital bed, his face looking slack and wrong, his body bandaged heavily, and Bella had to say goodbye. Even with his heart still beating in front of her, she knew he wasn't really there. Machines were breathing for him, keeping him alive, and she knew her father's spirit wouldn't stick around for that.

She spoke aloud, hoping his soul could hear her, as she said her piece. "I love you, Dad. I wish I could've been more honest with you about what I am. I want…I want to see you again, but truthfully, I don't know if I will. It might be a really long time from now. I hope you're fishing or watching sports or chatting up some ladies wherever you are. You were always a good man. You deserve happiness in the afterlife. You deserve to get everything you always wanted. I miss you already, Dad."

Bella stood, feeling Edward's hand grip hers and shutting her eyes against the emotion that threatened to overtake her. When she got the call about a tractor-trailer demolishing Charlie's squad car, she panicked, but she didn't grieve. Now, all she saw before her was a sea of sadness, the waves slowly coming in and lapping against her. Each ripple set a new motion in play, and all she could do was swallow the lump in her throat, and stand against it.

Death was an inevitable part of life. Nothing lasted. Not humans.

Bella bent and kissed her father's cheek. Edward wrapped his arms around her from behind, cradling her and humming into her hair. The doctor appeared at the door, and Bella nodded. Things were unplugged or turned off or pulled out—Bella wasn't sure. She felt the final departure of her father from this world, and she let out one small cry of anguish.

She left the hospital that day a little different. She was a little older. A little sadder. Hopefully, a little wiser. She knew she'd live a long, long time, and would have to witness death a hundredfold.

She bit her lip, a habit never broken, and Edward led her towards their car. He kissed her forehead, his lips lingering on her skin as he waited for her to speak. Bella finally looked up at him, her eyes somehow glistening without tears, and she saw his pain reflected back at her.

"That won't be us, right? That'll never be us," she stated, her voice small and timid in the early morning dewy mist.

"Never," he vowed. The pair stood still as statues, embracing as if their lives depended on it.

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**I hope you all won't try to stone me in the town square over that. I know it wasn't a traditional "happy" ending, but this was never really a happy story. Thanks for traveling with me on this ride. I am truly grateful to all of you readers out there.**

**I'm posting the Prologue to my newest fic, Elevation, right after this, so if you want to read a short little intro to my AH story, check it out. Here's the summary:**

**_At 12, they called her "The Next Big Thing." At 15, she made millions of dollars starring in blockbusters. At 17, she was a washed up starlet and laughingstock of LA. Can Isabella Hale find out who she really is, or will she always be playing a part?_**


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